Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-108.219.142.139-20170430141659/@comment-31540315-20170514141304

MONKS:

[chanting]

Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.

[bonk]

Pie Iesu domine,...

[bonk]

...dona eis requiem.

[bonk]

Pie Iesu domine,...

[bonk]

...dona eis requiem.

CROWD:  A witch! A witch!

[bonk]

A witch! A witch!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">MONKS:  [chanting] Pie Iesu domine...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch! A witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! We've found a witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  We have found a witch. May we burn her?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  How do you know she is a witch?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  She looks like one.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Right! Yeah! Yeah!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Bring her forward.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">WITCH:  I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Uh, but you are dressed as one.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">WITCH:  They dressed me up like this.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Augh, we didn't! We didn't...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">WITCH:  And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Well?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Well, we did do the nose.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  The nose?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  And the hat, but she is a witch!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Yeah!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Did you dress her up like this?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  No!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2 and 3:  No. No.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  No.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  No.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGERS #2 and #3:  No.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Yes.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Yes.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Yes. Yeah, a bit.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #3:  A bit.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGERS #1 and #2:  A bit.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #3:  A bit.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  She has got a wart.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">RANDOM:  [cough]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  What makes you think she is a witch?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #3:  Well, she turned me into a newt.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  A newt?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #3:  I got better.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Burn her anyway!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Burn!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Are there?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Ah?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  What are they?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Tell us! Tell us!...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Do they hurt?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Tell me. What do you do with witches?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Burn!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Burn!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  And what do you burn apart from witches?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  More witches!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #3:  Shh!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Wood!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  So, why do witches burn?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;">[pause]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #3:  B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Good! Heh heh.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Oh, yeah. Oh.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Build a bridge out of her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Oh, yeah.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">RANDOM:  Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Does wood sink in water?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  No. No.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  No, it floats! It floats!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Throw her into the pond!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  The pond! Throw her into the pond!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  What also floats in water?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Bread!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Apples!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #3:  Uh, very small rocks!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Cider!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Uh, gra-- gravy!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  Cherries!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Mud!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #3:  Uh, churches! Churches!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  Lead! Lead!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">ARTHUR:  A duck!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Oooh.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Exactly. So, logically...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  And therefore?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #2:  A witch!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #1:  A witch!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  A witch! A witch!...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #4:  Here is a duck. Use this duck.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;">[quack quack quack]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Very good. We shall use my largest scales.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Right. Remove the supports!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;">[whop]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;">[clunk]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;">[creak]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  A witch! A witch! A witch!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">WITCH:  It's a fair cop.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">VILLAGER #3:  Burn her!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">CROWD:  Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!...

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">ARTHUR:  I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  My liege!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">ARTHUR:  Good Sir Knight, will you come with me to Camelot and join us at the Round Table?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  My liege! I would be honored.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">ARTHUR:  What is your name?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">BEDEVERE:  'Bedevere', my liege.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">ARTHUR:  Then I dub you 'Sir Bedemere, Knight of the Round Table'.

<p align="center" style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;">Narrative Interlude

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana;font-weight:normal;"><span class="name" style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,51,153);">NARRATOR:  The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow: Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Gallahad the Pure, and Sir Robin the-not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill, and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries: The Knights of the Round Table.