Scotlandball

Scotlandball is a ball located north of Englandball, He along with Englandball, Walesball and Northern Irelandball become UKball. He is the land of bagpipes, haggis, and Braveheart. As of September 2014, he cannot into independence.

History
Repeated glaciations,

First known permanent houses on Scottish soil around 9,500 years ago,

Mists of time,

Pictballs and blue paint,

A missing SPQRball legion and as a result a very large wall,

New tradition develops of crossing the wall and finding virgins,

A lot of rain,

Pictballs organise and call themselves Dal Raita,

Irishball arrive and join the Pictballs,

Lots of standing stones and sniffing mushrooms,

A lot of rain,

Albaball takes over,

<p class="MsoNormal">Vikingballs attack the coastline, lots of fighting by hotheads,

<p class="MsoNormal">Englishball asked to help arbitrate a empty throne and then steals it,

<p class="MsoNormal">A lot of rain,

Wallaceball cries FREEDOM!

Bruceball doesn't give up and kicks the Sassenachs out!

<p class="MsoNormal">Scotball and Franceball stir the muck!

<p class="MsoNormal">Scotball takes over Englishball crown, och ah!

<p class="MsoNormal">A lot of rain,

Scotball tries to develop some colonies in North America and bankrupts itself!

<p class="MsoNormal">Englishball steals Scotball independence by buying its debt. No!!!!!!

<h2 class="MsoNormal"> Business <p class="MsoNormal">Build ships that sometimes dinna sink,

<p class="MsoNormal">Have a lot of oil and kippers,

Whisky!!!!!

Tourism to search for Nessie, muhahaha!

Character
Very philosophical.

Bad poetry.

Bad temper.

Argues by shouting,

Can keep a feud going for centuries even if the original reason is lost,

Must hate the Sassenach!

FREEDOM, maybe not, FREEDOM, maybe not, FREEDOM, maybe not.

World class cuisine
Jam sandwiches,

Haggis,

Porridge,

Kippers,

Neeps and tatties

Weapons
Bagpipes,

General insanity,

Tossin the caber!

Relationships

 * UKball - Gib independence
 * Irelandball - Wants independence from UK like he did
 * Nova Scotiaball - Lost son
 * Norwayball - Uncle in the frozen north
 * Maltaball - Nephew in the Mediteranean
 * Australiaball - Son in the tropical south
 * New Zealandball - Son in the frozen south
 * Shetlandball and Orkneyball - Adopted kids from Norwayball
 * Franceball - Auld Alliance!
 * Walesball - Needs to apologise for being Englishball mercenaries!

Typical Scottish Greetings

 * ah ya bastart - Ouch, you bastard!
 * bawbag - scrotum, pejorative (That guy's a bawbag)
 * hoot - what "hoot are you talkin aboot"
 * numpty - an endearing term/lovable idiot. Shows friendly banter ("Och your a right numpty")
 * Scunner one who pisses ye aff, also used when hurt yourself (oh ye scunner that hurt)

Fine line between Insanity and Brilliance
We are not sure what side of this line Scotball falls under but he has been busy and has invented the following:

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:1.2pt;margin-left:1.2pt;line-height:13.45pt;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA">Macadamised roads, pedal bicycle, pneumatic tyre, condensing steam engine, screw propeller, telephone, automated teller machine, world's first oil refinery, iIncandescent light bulb, criminal fingerprinting, golf, Ice Hockey, Rugby sevens, Chloroform, the hypodermic syringe, the ultrasound scanner, the MRI body scanner, penicillin, the EKG, the television, the refrigerator, the electric bread toaster, the flush toilet, the first distiller to triple distill Irish whiskey, the waterproof macintosh and the  Ghillie suit. <span style="font-size:18.0pt;font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-fareast-font-family: "TimesNewRoman";mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA">

<p class="MsoNormal">