Polandball (character)

"Wszyscy Polacy to jedna rodzina, starsi czy młodzi, chłopak czy dziewczyna."

"O Kurwa!"

Polandball is the original protagonist of Polandball. He cannot into space, except for once with Sovietball's help. He also stole a spaceship owned by USAball, but was pushed back to Earth. Polandball is sometimes naive/ stupid/ignorant and is often exploited and bullied by his neighbors (but not those who fear him), especially Germanyball. He lives in Eastern Europe and is Slavic. He has a job as a plumber, cleaning UKBall's toilet, but often shirks his duties, preventing him from getting any leverage or input on world issues (But he saved his ass!). He does not like Russiaball, and he wants his goddamn clay and horses back.

He looks up to USAball and one day wants to be like him. Polandball is a daydreamer and often fantasises about winning World War II, defeating the Axis single-handedly, and dominating that unreachable frontier known as Outer Space.

History (966-present)
Polandball was known as Civtas Schinesghe until he thought, 'Hey I can into kingdom!' and did. He became Catholic in 966 AD, and in the 1200s and 1300s he helped Teutonicball (a distant ancestor of Germanyball) in the Northern Crusades against the last of the pagan Vikingballs in Novgorodball's clay. In 1569 he united with the Grand Duchy of Lithuaniaball, his girlfriend, whom he had been dating since the 1400s. He had a cultural awakening in the Renaissance era, and discovered that Earth and all the other planetballs revolve around the Sun, not the other way round as Papal Statesball taught.

Their union, known as the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth was extremely prosperous and successful, conquering clay all the way from the Baltic to the Black Seas, and in 1699 won the Polish-Ottoman War against kebab Ottoman Empireball. However, he was weakened by the war, and in the 1720s, the War of the Polish Succession messed things up even further. The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth's power was declining, as neighbouring powers took parts of his clay. In 1772, the First Partition of Poland resulted in Prussiaball adopting the couple's son Danzigball. In 1790, a Second Partition was made, and after Polandball tried to protest, in 1795 the Third Partition separated the couple, as Austrian Empireball, Russiaball, and Prussiaball carved up their clay between them. Polandball became Prussiaball's slave, while his wife Lithuaniaball became Russiaball's.

In 1806, Franceball invaded Prussiaball's clay, and gave Polandball some freedom, but this was quickly taken away from him in 1813 when Franceball was defeated at Leipzig after Russiaball defeated him the previous year. Through the nineteenth century, Polandball continued to be Prussiaball, then Reichtangle's slave. Until in 1914, when WWI broke out. and Russiaball tried to 'liberate' him. Reichtangle infected him with communism, and secured his eastern clay in 1918, right before his defeat by the Allies in November that year.

At the 1919 Paris Peace Conference, UKball, USAball and Franceball decided to reinstate Polandball's independance. However, the communist Sovietball (officially R.S.F.S.Rball then) decided to claim his predecessor's pre-1917 clay back, invading the newly independent Polandball's clay in 1920. However, Polandball defeated him, and in the 1920s and 1930s, Polandball became prosperous once more. However, his neighbour, Reichtangle's son Germanyball had become Nazi Germanyball in 1933, and in 1939 invaded his clay and raped him, and murder on his clay Jewcubes in the Holocaust. Polandball fled to UKball's clay, and helped him fight Nazi Germanyball in the skies during the Battle of Britain in summer 1940, and land in Italy at Monte Cassino in 1944, despite UKball abandoning him in 1939. In 1945, Polandball returned to his newly liberated clay, only to discover Sovietball had occupied it. He brainwashed Polandball, turning him into the Polish People's Republicball, and made him join his Warsaw Pact in 1955.

In 1978, however, Polandball became affiliated with Vatican Cityball, and this encouraged him to stand up for himself against Sovietball. In 1981-82 helaunched a series of 'Solidarity' strikes against Sovietball occupying his clay, only to be met with violence. USAball did a TV special with UKball called 'Let Poland be Poland' over the matter. In 1989, however, the Iron Curtain fell, and Polandball was free again. He joined the EU, and is now trying to establish friendships within Europe. He is now also UKball's plumber, and scared of Germanyball.

Friends

 * USAball - YAY POLAND CAN INTO FRIEND COUSIN!! Sorry for the ship cousin.
 * UKball - BETRAYED ME IN WWII!!! At least gives work. Even if work is stinky poo (literally).
 * Franceball - Makes good Wine and freed me for a while. Except he lost. Also, he's a coward.
 * Bulgariaball - Best friends. Work together a lot.
 * Hungaryball - BFFs since the middle ages + helped in WW2. Also, we both hate Fourth Reich.
 * Russiaball - Sometimes he's really good brother Especially when I took his clay in 1919 and let him be eaten by USSR


 * Lithuaniaball - Long live the COMMONWEALTH!!! My dear former wife.
 * Canadaball - Canada is of great friend he is of selling maple syrup!

Enemies

 * Germanyball - Fuck them, PRUSY SĄ POLSKIE, ŁUŻYCE SĄ POLSKIE, ŚLĄSK JEST POLSKI, DRESNO JEST POLSKIE, BERLIN JEST POLSKI, NORYMBERGA JEST POLSKA, MONACHIUM JEST POLSKIE, STUTTGART JEST POLSKI, FRANKFURT JEST POLSKI, KOLONIA JEST POLSKA, POMORZE TEŻ, GDAŃSK TEŻ a jak znowu spróbujecie germanizować Wielkopolskę to wpierdolimy wam gorzej niż w 1919 :), CAŁE NIEMCY SĄ POLSKIE! KURWA!
 * Sovietball/Russiaball - Big brother and big bully, but when he gets wpierdol always before before me :)
 * Ukraineball - GIB Lwów and stop praising Bandera!or 1919 will occur again, Cossack scum!
 * Lithuaniaball - GIB Wilno! Or 1938 will occur again!
 * Belarusball - Gib Grodno! And gib potatoes...
 * EUball - Tryings to anschluss Polandball under mask of Fourth Reich.