South Africaball

South Africaball, sometimes drawn as South Afringca is a famous and rich countryball in Africa. South Africaball's favorite pastime is digging deep holes in its clay as it is full of valuable minerals like gold, platinum, manganese, chrome, iron, vanadium and diamonds.

Brief History
South Africaball has a long history but didn't write much down until recently although there is a lot of Khoisanball rock-art graffiti everywhere.

During the iron age, the civilization of Mapungubweball also existed and they traded with the east coast and built huge stone structures, because they were bored and it would confuse future generations.

In the 15th Century, Portugalball started looking for a shortcut to the far east and "found" the Cape, although it wasn't lost.

In the 16th Century, Dutchball needed a lay-over to India and started a veggie garden in the Cape. Some Huguenotballs arrived as well, escaping persecution in Europe. They were very good at making wine so were allowed in, irrelevant of their beliefs!

In the 17th Century, Dutchball decided to make it a colony and make of moneys a lot with trade.

In 18th century when Dutchball clay was taken by Franceball, Britishball arrived uninvited and take over but not give of back to Dutchball when Franceball was defeated. This annoyed Dutchballs, who took their Huguenotball friends with and moved inland to become the Boerballs.

In the 19th Century, the Boerballs met Zuluball and other 8balls and had a few hectic arguments. Boerballs would close their wagons into a circle, pray and then shoot all the Zuluballs attacking. It seemed to work well. One of Zuluballs sons, Ndebeleball, however, was causing his own havoc, chasing everyone around. Eventually Lesothoball hid in the mountains to escape all this nonsense. This is why Lesothoball now lies in the middle of South Africa, and why South Africaball looks like an Donut.

In late of 19th Century, the Boerballs found gold and diamonds and Britishball decided they needed to join the empire. Britishball brought Indiaball and Australiaball to help. This war is called the Angloboerball war. Britishball thought it was taking too long to defeat some uncouth farmers, so started burning down farms and put Boerballs and 8balls in concentration camps. The Boerballs were finally made to agree that joining the empire was maybe a good idea.

Eventually all the pieces became Union of South Africaball in 1909. Britishball then asked South Africaball to take Namibiaball from Germanyball in WW1. No one said anything about giving it back!

Britishball asked South Africaball to again help in WW2 in saving Egyptball from Germanyball. South Africaball also kicked Italyball's ass free of charge in Ethiopiaball!

South Africaball finally gained full independence from Britishball in 1960. 

South Africaball learnt some silly superiority ideas from Britishball, got it wrong and ruled by Apartheid (Racial segregation). Boerballs started acting like Britishballs and 8balls got treated very badly.

This is the main reason that South Africaball suffers from multiple personality disorder today. South Africaball is in therapy for this problem.

South Africaball also used to enjoy crossing its neighbors borders without permission, especially those of Angolaball, apparently to stop communism from spreading. USAball financed this exercise through the CIAball "freedom outreach program".

South Africaball also interfered in Lesothoball when it became uppity and asked for more money for the water it dams and is used in Gautengball's heavy industry.

South Africaball was the first country in Africa to build nuclear weapons. Israelcube may or may not have helped. It clandestinely tested two of them in the desert and then got caught by USAball, who was wondering where the huge earthquakes came from, oops!, After all that fuss South Africaball voluntarily gave them up as they had become obsolete. South Africaballs nuclear weapons were replaced by the deadly Vuvuzela.

Eventually South Africaball decided to treat everyone as equals and held democratic elections, the African National Congress (ANC) now governs South Africaball.

Relationships (Tjommies)
South Africaball loves to braai (its like barbecue, but way better!) South Africaball belongs to the BRICS, the SADC, (basically all the neighbors, who crash the braai) and the African Union. South Africaball is also part of Commonwealthball.
 * Lesothoball and Swazilandball - it's cousins. South Arica believes they are actually part of it.
 * Australiaball - is tolerated being called a "bloody saffa" but is invited to the braai as it always brings excellent lambchops
 * Namibiaball - His stepson, South Africaball had to eventually give him back, after UNball got upset.
 * Mauritiusball - spends his holidays most of the time there
 * Botswanaball - South Africaball thinks he is a snob as they seem better educated, however it likes to braai with Botswanaball and laugh at the other SADCballs.
 * Mozambiqueball - South Africaball enjoys him coming to the braai, but doesn't understand anything it says. It all sounds like gibberish "selling cabbages?".
 * Zimbabweball - South Africaball doesn't talk much about its cousin Zimbabweball, who may be clinically mad.
 * Japanball - South Africaball loves bakkies (Utes!) and minibuses that are built by Japanball, so allows them to come to the braai.
 * Netherlandsball - Estranged father of South-Africaball. Speaks of different language now but can still into understandings.
 * UKball - South Africaball has a love/hate relationship with its Step-father, UKball. UKball hasn't apologized for the concentration camps from the AngloBoerball war yet or for stealing the Cullinan diamond.
 * USAball - HIS BEST ALLIE, OF COURSE
 * Russiaball - are in BRICS together
 * Brazilball - are powerful developing countryballs, both love soccer, and both are in BRICS together
 * Indiaball - both colonized by Britain but now are in BRICS together, DEFEND CURRY!
 * Indonesiaball - Brother colonized by netherlandsball
 * Chinaball - largest trading partner and in BRICS together, DEFEND DUMPLING!
 * South Koreaball - Best Korea, we both have "South"

Provinceballs

 * Western Capeball: lots of sea, wine and a weird flat mountain, everything happens slowly there, must be the tik.
 * Northern Capeball: strange accents, vast iron and manganese ore mines,as well as the Kalahari desert, basically a shortcut to the estranged step son, Namibiaball.
 * Eastern Capeball: the wild coast, thousands of shipwrecks, Xhosaballs smoking pipe. Who knows whats in these pipes.
 * Free Stateball: very flat, the birds fly upside down there. Gold mines and maize.
 * Kwazulu-natalball: lots of angry Zuluballs and Indianballs making deals.
 * Gautengball: economic powerhouse of South Africaball, factories everywhere, currently fighting a e-tolling war.
 * Northwestball: platinum mines and deep gold mines, gambling at Sun Cityball.
 * Limpopoball: wild west of South Africaball. Lots of minerals and strange balls with red berets.
 * Mpumalangaball: has Kruger National Park and power stations.

Other Clay
South Africaball owns and leases some other clay:
 * Robben Islandball: used be a colony for sick balls suffering from leprosy and then a prison for uppity 8balls.
 * Marion Islandball: 2700km south east off the coast, where South Africaball conducts weather research and may have rented it out to Isrealcube to test a nuclear weapon, oops.
 * Prince Edward Islandball (no, not the Canadian Province): birthday present from Stepdad. very cold with penguins pooping everywhere.
 * SANAE 4: Research station in Antarcticaball.

Tinkering with stuff
South Africaball has a history of innovation and was the first to do a heart transplant, on a Polandball! South Africaball was the first ball to develop large scale coal to oil technology and no thanks USAball, South Africaball already has democracy. South Africaball also invented the retinal cryoprobe, used to repair detached retinas and remove cataracts as well as superglue between braais. South Africaballs greatest invention however, is biltong!

Sports
South Africaballs' enjoys playing football (or Soccer for USAball),rugby and cricket. South Africaball hates to loose against Australiaball and New Zealandball and will sulk for days on end. Sport is considered the main religion with Christianity. The Vuvuzela is used as a psychological weapon to annoy the opposing team into making mistakes.

Nature
South Africaball has the third highest biodiversity in the world and no there are no lions in the streets, they are kept in the back yards! South Africaballs' Cape Floral Kingdom has 9,600 plant species, 70% of which are not found anywhere else in the world.

Space
South Africaball is building the Square Kilometer Array, the worlds largest radio telescope, to listen to space with its frenemy, Australiaball. The dishes also make good braai pans!

South Africaballisms:
“Now-Now" and "Just-Now" A concept of time, if South Africaballs coming over for a beer "now-now", it could perhaps be arriving at Botswanaballs in five minutes. But if South Africaball is coming "just-now", Botswanaball could expect to wait 20 minutes or 30 or even 45. Just-now, darn it isn’t it obvious?!

"Babbelaas", You know that feeling after a heavy night out on the town? South Africaball offers a term that is far more descriptive of one's feeling of complete and utter uselessness!

"Eish!" in everyday lingo, ”eish!” is a term that could best be described as an exclamation of light shock.

"Howzit!" Howzit sort of shortens that to “How is it?”

"My Chinaball!" No, not the country. Your best friend is your Chinaball. Don't ask where it came from; just accept it and next time you see your best buddy Botswanaball, say, "Howzit, my Chinaball!"

"Gatvol!" Translated literally, this word means ”the hole is full.” Used as a term of absolute frustration, one is gatvol when one has had enough.

"Ja Nee" Translated, this means “Yes No” in Afrikaans. Yes, this is a paradox. No, it’s not seen as a contradiction in terms. South Africaball knows exactly what it means: So-so.Maybe.

"Ja-Well-No-Fine" Rolling off the tongue as one word, this phrase has taken on a sarcastic twist to mean that someone telling you something might be pretending to tell the truth, but actually the reality of the situation is the opposite.