UKball

UKball is a kingdom of combined Countryballs located off the coast of Franceball. He is never found without accompaniment of a top hat, a monocle, a pocketwatch, and occasionally an umbrella (like a true gentleman should). He once dominated the world, you know. Rule Britannia!

Currently, UKball is ruled by Conservativesball and a reluctant member of EUball, which he plans to leave soon.

Humble Beginnings (48 AD-1499)
Both Englandball and Franceball are descended from Celtball. Then both of them were adopted by SPQRball, a harsh trainer but otherwise a loving stepfather who taught them technology, Latin, and the art of Imperialism. When SPQRball died, however, they were left as orphans, and the once-siblings, became rivals who always tried to up each other in the game of World Domination, to be the one and only successor of the SPQRball's glory and legacy. Englandball first formed a modern state in the 700s.

In 1016, Vikingballs set up a government in Englandball's clay, but they were kicked out in 1042 by Edward the Confessor. In 1066, Normanball, one of his France's bastard children, attacked him, and succeeded in controlling him for about 100 years, until he experienced a bout of split personality disorder, as represented in the civil war between 1135 and 1142. The split personality disorder would manifest itself again in the 1399-1485 War of the Roses.

The siblings have always fought each other ever since. The Hundred Years' War was a series of conflicts waged from 1337 to 1453 pitting Englandball, against his Franceball (basically, nearly 100 years of English Longbows owning French Knights). Here is a full list of English-French rivalry.

England kicked France's ass at Crecy and Poitiers, then again at Agincourt in 1415, but was pushed back at Orléans in 1429, because of Franceball's Joan of Arc. He eventually surrendered in 1453, and left Franceball's clay for good in 1555, when Calais was returned to her. He also had problems with Spainball, and despite having good relations in the 1550s.

Englandball also fought with his Celtic half-brother Scotlandball, who did not wish to become part of England, like Walesball had in 1272, but Wales had been subjugated by England in 1535, and Ireland followed him in 1598. In 1603, Scotland became the dominant partner in their sort-of union, until in 1649, England experienced another bout of split personality disorder resulting in him raping Ireland, then fighting a civil war against himself between 1642 and 1649 then again in 1651. he recovered in 1660, but briefly experienced religious confusion in 1688's Glorious Revolution.

Colonial Age (1500-1769)
During the 16th to 18th centuries, Englandball (later UKball) started to build his colonial empire in earnest. He used his pirates to raid Spainball's treasure ships then defeated his Armada in 1588. He settled the American Continent and became the dominant power as a result; kicking Franceball's arse in the Seven Years War and taking her North American clay. He also commenced trade with the Mughal Indiaball, and conquered various small islands in the Caribbean.

In the 1707 Acts of Union, Englandball & Scotlandball joined together to create Great Britain, then in 1801, Ulster joined as Northern Ireland to form the United Kingdom. Following protests from Scotland in 1715 and 1745 respectively (remove Jacobite!) UKball eventually settled down to raise his new son, USAball, but things turned out differently....

American Revolution (1770-1783)
It was that French brat who sponsored one of the darkest event in British history, when UKball had the most rebellious, barbaric, uncultured and fiercely independent of his sons: USAball, once a loyal colony of Britain in North America. She helped him against his father, by sending him arms and troops (and money). After she lost to him in the Seven Years War in 1763, Franceball was desperate to get back at UKball after this latest chapter in their sibling rivalry. So she helped endorse and nurture her nephew, USAball's rebellious personality traits, eventually leading to him throwing his father's tea into the harbour.

And the reaction when said son threw all UKball's precious stocks of tea into the Boston harbour:

"U WOT M8?!?!?!?!?!"

* American War of Independence commences* Despite Britain being the strongest military power during that time, and also having Hessian and Iroquois 7ball support, USAball managed to hold his own against his father, defeating him at Saratoga after initial defeats at Lexington, Bunker Hill,and Concord, until Franceball came to his aid (again). Upon losing in Yorktown, UKBall decided he had better things to do closer to home, and left his ungrateful son to fend fo himself. This lead to USAball gaining independence and moving out from his father, to kill some 7balls and lynch some 8balls. Coincidentally, UKball also freed his 8ball slaves around this point, in 1807.

Imperial Age (1801-1914)
The 1800s were better times, frankly. After the glorious defeat of that bloody Napoleonic Franceball at Trafalgar and Waterloo with the combined forces of UKball & Prussiaball, (friends since 1763!) Britain began it's true rise to world domination. Thanks to a cunning chap named James Watt, UKball experienced the Industrial Revolution and became the wealthiest nation in the world; so wealthy, in fact, that he got the largest empire of all time.

He tightened his now mighty grip on Indiaball, started colonies in Africa while fighting the 8balls there, and made sure that no other nation took over Europe again. A fifth of the world became governed by London, and he could afford to drink lots of tea and eat lots of India's curry. He also made great advances in military, technology, and science.

Australiaball and New Zealandball were born in 1788 and 1840 respectively, via Britain's alliances with the local Aboriginalballs and Maoriballs, who would later be raped by Britain's children with them. In 1854, UKball taught Russiaball a hard lesson in the Crimean War.Then in 1857, Indiaball tried to become free. So UKball taught him a lesson too, with his own Queen Victoria becoming Empress of India in 1874. In 1879, he lost at Isandlwana against 8balls in Africa, despite being far more technologically superior. So he took his chance at the 1884 Berlin Conference to grab as much of the 8balls' clay as possible.

In 1860 Qing Chinaball refused to sell his tea for UKball's opium, and because he really loved tea, he went all '  U WOT M8?'  He beat the crap out of Qing Chinaball (good show!) and adopted a son named Hong Kongball. UKball might be a gentleman, but when it comes to his tea, never, ever, fuck with him. Also, on an unrelated topic, his Celtic half brother/slaveling Irelandball experienced a famine in 1845-1851, which UKball did his best (?!) to help with.

In 1882, he effectively adopted Egyptball, after finishing the Suez Canal in 1869. He continued to dominate the world during the Pax Britannica, and fought against Dutchballs in the Boer Wars of 1880-81, and then in 1899-1902.

In 1900, he took the Ashanti 8balls' clay, and then went to bash Qing Chinaball some more in 1900 with Franceball, Imperial Russiaball, and Imperial Japanball the same year. In 1904, he finally reconciled with Franceball, who was over her 'Revolutions' phrase, ad then in 1907 with Russiaball, forming the Entente, which would come in handy later on.

Modern Day (1914-present)
In 1914, Reichtangle started to anschluss his neighbours on the continent, such as Belgiumball, Britainball's distant cousin, and as a result, the Entente went to war over Serbiaball's break in relations with Austria-Hungaryball the same year. Then, Ottoman Empireball fought at Gallipoli and Sulva Bay with him in 1915. In 1916, Irelandball took advantage of UKball being distracted at the Somme, Jutland and Verdun, and revolted against UKball's domination, but Ulsterball chose to stay as Northern Irelandball. By 1917, the Great War was taking it's toll on UKball's allies. Russiaball was going through a personality change, and had therefore withdrawn permanently from the War, and Belgiumball was being raped by Reichtangle. However, this same year, Britain's estranged son, USAball, returned after Reichtangle tried to convince Mexico to attack him, to fight with his father against Reichtangle. By 1918, Reichtangle had had enough, and capitulated, and was presently mutilated, and by doing so replacing him with his son, Germanyball at the Paris Peace Conference in 1919.

In the 1920s and 1930s, UKball's relationships with Japanball and Germanyball declined, as the latter changed his name to Nazi Germanyball in 1933. Irelandball had also become independent in 1921. In 1939, they went to war again, this time over Nazi Germanyball's anschluss of Austriaball, Czechoslovakiaball, and Polandball (!) Franceball, was quickly overrun this time, capitulating in May 1940, along with Netherlandsball, Belgiumball (again), Luxembourgball, Denmarkball, Norwayball, and the Jewcubes in Germany's clay. He did try and help Norwayball out giving Kriegsmarineball a bloody nose at Narvik, before heading to unsucsessfully help Franceball. Nazi Germanyball then tried to trespass on UKball's clay, but got his ass handed to him, and instead invaded Greeceball and Yugoslaviaball, with Hungaryball, Romaniaball, and Bulgariaball. Then he invaded Sovietball in 1941, with the help of Finlandball, and Romaniaball. This and fighting UKball and Free Franceball in Tunisia and Egyptball's clay proved to be too much, so USAball (after hiding for most of the war) came to help his father and aunt fight. In 1944, they liberated Italyball and Franceball's clay, then their ally Sovietball 'liberated' Eastern Europe and the Balkans, and Nazi Germanyball and Imperial Japanball surrendered in 1945, whereupon his clay was divided between the Allies.

UKball donated his part of NaziGermanyball's former clay to his son, Germanyball, seperated from his brother East Germanyball, in 1946. After the Second World War, he was exhausted, and helped found NATO with his son USAball in 1948. He became a permanent member of the UN Security council in 1946, and helped make UNball exist.

By now, UKball was too tired to run his empire, so he granted Indiaball his independence in 1947, upon which he split into Pakistanball and Indiaball. He then displaced the now-independent Palestineballs by moving the Jewcubes not killed by Nazi Germanyball in the Holocaust into their clay, forming Israelcube. After fighting a war with Malayaball (who became Malaysiaball in 1967), helping his son in defending South Koreaball's clay in 1950, and taking care of the Suez Canal Crisis with his France in 1956, he started to grant his adopted African children their independence, starting with Ghanaball and Ceylonball in 1957 and Nigeriaball in 1959, then racist South Africaball in 1961, and the Rhodesiaballs in 1964, along with Ugandaball in 1965, Triangapore in 1967 and Nyasalandball the same year. His grown-up children Australiaball, New Zealandball, and Canadaball bcame part of the Commonwealth Dominions, and in 1973 he joined the EU, the child of France and distant nephew, West Germanyball, along with his former servant, Irelandball.

By 1979, UKball could into Thatcherism, and defended his son Falkland Islandsball in 1982 against evil Argentinaball in the Falklands War. In 1989, Sovietball's slaves were freed, and Germanyball became one again. Sovietball died in 1991. Then in 1997, he returned Hong Kongball to Chinaball, and the Empire was temporarily dissolved finished.



By 2000, UKball had become one of the world's richest, most economically stable countries, but is now experiencing trouble with Kebab terrorists and immagrants. He is also fighting them with his son in Syria and Iraq, and also Afghanistan and Pakistan. He has also become friends with former enemies such as Germanyball, and Franceball, but prefers the company of his remaining faithful children, such as Gibraltarball and British Indian Ocean Territoryball.

Personality
He loves Tea (a bit too much, as he panics when he runs out), Fish & Chips, Doctor Who, Top Hats, Monocles, Canes, Scotch Whisky, Pork, Sexual Repression, Stiff Upper Lip, and World Domination. Nowadays he experiences nostalgia for his old empire, a time when he really ruled the waves.

Has a friendly rivalry with estranged son USAball and Germanyball, who is UKball's other favourite European friend alongside the likes of Belgiumball. Kicked Franceball's arse with the likes of Reichtangle, although these days they are friends. Currently doesn't like Spainball as they pretend they are stronk and can take Gibraltarball, same with Argentinaball and Falklandsball (Malvinas? what the bloody hell is that?).

Currently, UKBall seeks to leave the European Union (EUball), as he doesn't like being told what to do. This leads to Germanyball & other EU countries trying to convince him to stay, much to UKball's disgust. A referendum in the future should decide if he leaves or remains.

Nations within UKball
UKball is a combined kingdom of three different nations, and one province:
 * Englandball: The main ball of UK, he is the leader of the three, holding both the British Monarchy & Parliament. (in some comics, Englandball is synonymous with the whole UK, while in others its the exact opposite) His old Imperial self loves conquest, roast beef, and tea. His modern Chav self loves Rock & Roll, anarchy, football, and speaking in crude English (u wot m8?! ill bash ur fookin head, swear on me mum).
 * Scotlandball: The northern neighbor of Englandball, he loves bagpipes, claymores, and freedom. He still cannot into independence. He is sometimes found under UKball's tophat.
 * Walesball: West of Englandball, Walesball is the origin of medieval England's longbow, which helped them kick Franceball's arse many times. Still loves molesting sheep today.
 * Northern Irelandball: Once upon a time, all of Irelandball was part of the UK. But after he rebelled in 1916, Ireland was splitted into two, with the north side (Ulsterball) remaining loyal to UKball. He is of Protestant faith, unlike his Catholic neighbor down south.

Allies

 * Canadaball: He's the good son.UKfamily.jpg
 * Indonesiaball: He's awesome. Britain salutes to Indonesia's Nationalism.
 * USAball: Best friends Forever
 * Philippinesball - His adopted grandson from USAball. He nearly adopted him as a son before so it's a very complicated relationship. Somewhat annoyed at his usage of American English. USE HIS INSTEAD GOD DAMMIT!
 * Cyprusball: he's the other bad son. Well, kind of. Sort of. THEY DON'T FOLLOW THE CROWN GOD DAMN IT!!!
 * Australiaball: He's the delinquent son that was always kind of insane, but still makes a good living. Also the son who gives him more grandchildren... sweet heavens why!?!?
 * Papua New Guineaball- His adopted son now grandson via Australiaball...It's complicated.
 * New Zealandball: They're the insane son's sheepshagging tumor who may or may not have a secret relationship with Wales- ASDFGHJKKL!!!!! Still suspicious whether Midgar exist...
 * 10928998 369859049852556 3013967334802586500 n.jpgFranceball: Rival married to Germanyball. Fathered Canadaball with her. Say, she could be what Japanball calls Tsundere.
 * Germanyball:He's both obscenely wealthy, and Franceball's current husband. They are both parents of the Fourth Reich EU.
 * Japanball: He likes tea like us. Different kind though.
 * Netherlandsball: We...both have the English Channel... Kind of...
 * Belgiumball: I protected this cousin with his life against Reichtangle (Also known as Anschluss attempt I).
 * Pakistanball: Okay, but stay away from me ... And stop changing my great culture!
 * Egyptball: Although, he's kind of insane, right now. Oh, and the same with Pakistanball.
 * South Africaball: Also kind of insane, right now. They still hate us for the concentration camps, but they're ok. The high off of the BRICS must be getting to him. BUT HE DIDN'T FOLLOW THE CROWN GOD DAMN IT!!!
 * Indiaball: He's good and has helped me out but... HOW DARE YOU DEFY THE CROWN! But they give tea(unlike stupid China) and curry to us!
 * Brazilball: We have found a common enemy.
 * Mexicoball : He is good at making tacos and a delicious food. And he hates Argentinaball too.
 * South Koreaball:  The good one.
 * Chileball: He is a friend of the end of the world.
 * Swedenball: My platonic love. Swedenball also likes me but still thinks I'm a bit violent and scary. Oh, she builds a lot of my furniture nowadays.
 * Hong Kongball: Son whom I raised only to give back to Chinaball. But I will take him back shortly.
 * Portugalball: England's oldest ally and friend but is not very revelant and i treat him like my butler
 * Malaysiaball: Good son, very good chef and a half brother to Indonesiaball.
 * OKAuA.jpg family)]]Mauritiusball: One of my strongest sons from the Indian Ocean. Until he doesn't make me let the BIOT go. HE DOSEN'T FOLLOW THE CROWN GOD DAMN IT!!!
 * Peruball - sort of
 * UAEball - sort of, and a good son in the Middle East, he doesn't my culture.
 * Tringapore - Also very good chef, ex-adoptive son and used to provide lots of $ for his father. (Me.)

Enemies/frequent opponents

 * Russiaball: An insignificant island, you say? You're an insignificant dictatorship.
 * Chinaball: Stop rambling about the Opium Wars!
 * Argentinaball: A madman who cannot into making me let the Falklands go.
 * Cyprusball: They're the other bad son. Well, kind of. Sort of. HE DOSEN'T FOLLOW THE CROWN GOD DAMN IT!!! Also a madman who cannot into making me let Akrotiri and Dhekelia go.
 * Mauritiusball: A madman who cannot into making me let the Chagos Archipelago go.
 * Iranball: They should stop being nuclear. They're not worthy of it... Terrorists...
 * Irelandball: You are resented because once you were my slave.
 * Sealandball: Will never be recognized. Psh.
 * North Koreaball: The bad one who thinks it's best.
 * Syriaball: Fix your barbaric excuse for a country Allah worshipping weirdos.
 * ISISball: now listen here you jihad fuckface, you've gone far enough , mass genocide , beheading my men helping innocent people and pilliaging towns all in the nme of allah and for a stupod bloody disgrace of a misinterpation of your beliefs that even the fucking al-qeada think youre too bloody violent and now you ATTACKED MY LITTLE SON?! You want to please allah , please , let me fucking help with pleasing your God , you JIHAD LOVING WANKSTAINS!
 * Kazakbrick: JAGSHEMASH! YUO WANT SEXY TIEM VANILLA FAEC? IZ NICE!
 * Romaniaball and Bulgariaball:STOP STEALING MY JOBS AND PLAN TO ANNOY ME YOU MORONS!

Special Abilities

 * Ruling the world.
 * Sipping tea, A LOT of tea.
 * Stabbing people.
 * In antiquity: Delivering rapid musket volleys to the poor enemies he faces (often Franceball), then charging in with bayonets.
 * In antiquity: Maintaining the largest and best navy in the world. (this enabled UKball to rule the waves)
 * Owning Akrotiri and Dhekelia (Cyprusball doesn't know what I'm talking about).
 * Owning the Chagos Archipelago (Mauritiusball doesn't know what I'm talking about).
 * Owning the Falklands (Argentinaball doesn't know what I'm talking about).
 * Owning Gibraltar (Spainball doesn't know that I'm talking about).
 * Free heatlhcare (Obamacare as others would like to call it).
 * Wearing kilts.
 * Wearing top hats.
 * Hitting zombies with cricket bats
 * Leaving the EU.

Links

 * Facebook page