Germanyball

"Wörk, wörk."

Germanyball (Deutschlandkugel) is a countryball in the Center of Europe, who appears in most comics (as well as Forms of Deutschland). The capital of Germany is Berlin and he together with Franceball are married as parents of the Merkelreich European Union.

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History
Germany was created in 1871 when Prussiaball anschlußed the other fragments of the Holy Roman Empire to protect them from the bullying of Franceball, and created the mighty entity known as "Reichtangle" All was good, reichtangle set up colonies and made some new friends.

In 1914, Gavrilo Princip shot the Archduke of Austria-Hungaryball, Austria-Hungaryball invaded Serbiaball. So the Russian Imperialball was like, "Stay away from Serbia." And Reichtangle and Austria-Hungaryball were like, "Fick dich, Dummkopf!" So they attacked him. Then Franceball was like, "Stay away from Russia." And Reichtangle and Austria-Hungaryball were like, "Fick dich, Dummkopf!" So Germany attacked Belgiumball to surprise Franceball. So UKball was like, "Stay away from Belgium." And Reichtangle and Austria-Hungaryball were like, "Fick dich, Dummkopf!"

This was ironic as Britain and France ended up mutilating Reichtangle beyond all belief. So the Reichtangle was dismantled and gave birth to Germanyball as he is today. Later Germanyball became Naziball and ending up anschlussing France, Poland and the rest of Europe although thankfully he was stopped by UKball, USSRball and USAball.

This also ended badly for Germany as he was now split in 2 although USAball give him lots of monies. But that's fine as he finally got reunited. So now Germany has been take over by a new fascist dictator called Merkel who has established the Fourth Reich  elected liberal conservative called Merkel who has built stronger ties with the EU.

Personality
Germanyball is a very "stärk" and rich country, the breadwinning father-figure of the European Union, and his wealth being the reason for his nickname "Germoney." His most defining characteristic was his workaholism, a serious and efficient man who always abides by the rules and a work ethic only rivalled by East Asian countryballs. He does not tolerate any mistakes he made, is a neat freak, and happens to have a rather pessimistic nature. Unfortunately, being the breadwinner of the European family meant that he had to babysit the more troublesome adopted countryballs such as Italyball, and most especially the cancer that is killing the Euro. And of course to pay for the

reparations.

His cynical personality was justified, though, by the fact that he had a Dark And Troubled Past, a past that he never wants to talk about. When he (as fragmented German countryballs) lived in poverty conditions while Franceball and UKball were bullying them and treating them like shit; whose adoptive Grandfather was an über-strict and overbearing disciplinarian dedicated to Blood and Iron; whose dreams of "Unity, Justice and Freedom" was repeatedly shattered apart and was reflected in the large amounts of pessimistic philosophy present in German culture (e.g. Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, etc.); and went through not just one, but two of the worst mental breakdowns the world has ever seen. After USAball helped him get over his psychoses, he still never had his dream of unity come true as he was halved between West Germanyball and East Germanyball. The traumatic chaos that defined most of Germanyball's life became his defining motivation into the struggle and search for that glimpse of Order and Efficiency. He worked his most, just to get even the tiniest taste of that dream he never had come true. And the German Unity Day, was the perfect opportunity to acquire this distant ambition he had worked for all his life at last. Even if he today is the breadwinner of the European Union with lots of Euromonies, he is simply not just satisfied with that newly acquired Order: he will work his most to maintain it in its peak efficiency no matter what. Anything, just to escape his past.

But to look at Germanyball as nothing but a sour "kraut" in a perpetual depression tortured by such a traumatic past is a huge misconception. If the phrase "Work hard, play hard" could be personified into a countryball, it may very well be Germany. Yes, the numerous Germanyballs were adopted by Prussiaball, but one of those adopted Germanyballs was, of course Bavariaball. You know, the Beer capital of the World. Bavariaball seems to be the opposite of what everything Prussiaball was: Not Blood and Iron for a few Von Somethings, but Beer and Polka for Everybody! Yet the opposites complement each other and formed the German personality as he is today. Bavariaball taught Germanyball that having difficulties in their chaotic life is no reason to commit suicide through work, but that one should, while living in hardship, still find meaning in life and embrace it (hence Germany as the centre of the branch of philosophy known as Existentialism). Germanyball may have been hardened by his experience, yes, but he still possessed feelings, even the ability to feel pleasure and happiness. And the way he enjoyed life after work would astonish and even surprise other countryballs. To celebrate German Unity Day, October 3, when the tyranny of the Berlin Wall and the Iron Curtain finally ended once and for all,the moment when Germanyball got that Unity, Justice and Freedom he always sought in all his difficult life, he revived the Bavarian tradition of Oktoberfest, a city-wide party that lasts for almost an entire month. Germanyball, after a hard day's work, is also a hard BDSM fan (often with Austriaball or recently Brazilball) and only the weird Hentai of close friend Japanball could rival the level of obscenity that Germanic porn was notorious for. Yes, Germans love work. But they also think that worthwhile work must have worthwhile rewards, and the moment they achieved the very dream that they have always worked all their life, deserves an equivalent return. To have the ratio of reward per effort be as close to 100%: that is Efficiency.

To conclude, Germanyball is not a robotic sour kraut, but in fact a human, as far as the personality of countryballs could be described as human. He has strengths yet he also has flaws. His "humanity" and experience in the past continued to define his own personality. Also a pacifist today, renouncing war and now happily married to his former rival Franceball, but when need be and never at his own volition, he, never having lost his Teutonic mettle, can be a powerful opponent. Brazilball learned this the hard way.

Freunde

 * Austriaball - Schwester besessen mit Anschluss. Friendzone zu haben für mein Sohn.
 * EUball - Reichtangle 4.0 Mein Proud Son. Inherited Franceball's beautiful sophisticated culture und mein Efficient Super Science, the best of both worlds possessing both of our genius to take over die Welt . Also wants Ukraine as birthday present.
 * Franceball - Ehefrau und Mutter von EUkugel. "Friendly rival" would be insufficient to describe our relationship; she and I were what Japanball could describe as Tsundere. Wir had a very, very complicated, yet similar relationship.
 * We used to despise each other to the very core, she and her Entente once bullied us and treated us like Untermenschen, and Großvater Preußenkugel retaliated in turn by forging us in Blood and Iron to create the war machine known as Reichtangle. Our diplomacy soured more und more until the tragic disaster of World War One. Her Versailles Treaty ficked up us so much that ich had no choice but to succumb to complete insanity. As der Third Reichtangle, I, in a frightened and frantic attempt at revenge, destroyed her completely and annihilated her dignity, so that she shall be known for all eternity as the "Surrenderer". Ich only thought, she deserved to be punished for her arrogance, she must die in the most brutal manner imaginable. I made it so that the world should know her as the "Surrenderer" now and for all eternity.
 * Franceball ever since then learned her lesson, that such arrogance caused Mein Psychosis and the loss of everything she possessed, She cried for mercy, she cried that she forgives me, that she would accept her perpetual and humiliating fate from now on as the "Surrenderer," but I was too insane to understand. As the Third Reichtangle, I was too insane, obsessed with destroying her even if it meant the end of the world and Mein own Self-Destruction.
 * Fortunately, USAball and his Magic of Friendship came to our care and saved both of us from our self-destruction. He taught us that instead, we must forgive each other and search for what we had in common, and to put an end to our petty feuds especially there is an even worse Empire in our doorsteps threatening to burn the world in Nuclear Fire. USAball helped us recover through the Marshall Plan and his psychotherapy, and as we worked together under his guidance to Remove Communism, we forgave each other, found lots of things und interests in common. In both of our troubled, fragmented and chaotic pasts that synchronised with each other, and in both our desire and ambition to unify and lead all of Continental Europe as one Family. We mutually understood each other, the path to our eventual attraction, and at last, we signed the establishment of the European Economic Community: a declaration of "Will you marry me?"
 * Nowadays, while we do still quarrel a lot (Japanball: Sugoi tsunderes!) it is on a lesser scale, as we are, at last, one big happy anschlussing Family.
 * USAball - While he does make inferior cars, he was our therapist who did help Franceball und mich to become best friends. Therefore, he has taken the role of EUball's Patenonkel.
 * Japanball - Loyal follower und Fanboy, or perhaps Fan-catgirl. The Meiji Restoration that converted Japan from a backwater to an industrial powerhouse was partly inspired by the way that Prussiaball anschlussed and governed the growing Reichtangle with precise and mechanical Efficiency. Wir fought as staunch allies together in World War II, and received the same psychotherapy under USAball. Nowadays, her anime contains countless references to Deutschland, and she herself ist like the Asian version of mich: Rich self-disciplined wörkaholics with superior engineering, but at nicht she drinks lots of Bier und makes extreme bondage porn called Hentai. And by extreme, Ich mean it. shudders
 * Turkeyball - Invited him for cheap wörk, now he is a good Freund with delicious healthy cuisine that outshined all our previous fast foods. Döner + Bier x Brazilian tears = Best Oktoberfest Ever!
 * UKball - Freundliche Rivalen und der Brüder von mein Ehefrau. He does not really want to interfere in our family issues with Franceball, hence he stayed out of our eurozone, though wir will always willkommen him in der Europäischen Familie. Wir also love to drink Bier und making fun of Poland.
 * Italyball - He might be too carefree for mein tastes, yet he is still ein ally.In ancient times we were enemies. Japanball made a tribute to German-Italian relationships, called Hetalia, which is basically the retarded version of Polanball lighthearted anime Polandball.
 * Polandball - Though he still won't gib back Großvater Preußenkugel, being a member of the European extended family makes up für it. Still enjoys making lots of fün of him though.
 * Israelcube - Ich hate Meinself.

Feinde

 * Portugalball, Irelandball, Italyball, Greeceball and Spainball: SCHULDEN! SCHULDEN! IHR SCHULDET NOCH WAS! IHR SEID eine Schande für Europa! Ich werde euch auf die Spieße verfüttern! Rennen ist sinnlos aus dem mächtigen Deutschland! GIBRALTAR GEHÖRT ZU DEN BRITEN, DU VERDAMMTER ESEL!!!. (English- DEBT! DEBT! YOUR STILL OWES YOU! YOU ARE a disgrace to Europe! I will feed them on the skewers! Race is meaningless from the mighty Germany! GIBRALTAR IS ONE OF THE BRITISH, YOU DONKEYS!!!) Remind to self, when the economy collapses, sell this cancerous parasite to Chinaball.
 * Argentinaball/Brazilball - ARBEITET! ARBEITET FÜR DAS VATERLAND!!! DIE FALKLANDSINSLEN GEHÖREN ZU DEN BRITEN, VERDAMMTER ESEL!!! (cracks whip)
 * Russiaball - When Sovietball got liver cancer we celebrated German Unification, Franceball and I planned to adopt/anschluss the anarchistic fragments of Russiaball for our growing Child. Our plans für Lebensraum were reduced to complete Scheiße when a homophobic Arschloch named Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin rose to power. Putin ist Scheiße, Merkel über Alles!

Links

 * Hamburg ist jew!

Links

 * Facebook page