User blog:Cynical04TR/Turkish City Stereotypes

Merhaba ! Benim adım Cynical Turk, and I’m your guide to the marvelous land of Turkey. So lets begin.

01 - Adana

Adana has some of the most batshit crazy people in Turkey. From a guy who shot a gun at the sun to another guy who disarmed a bomb after kicking it because he got impatient as the bomb squad failed to show up, its kinda like the Florida of Turkey, but with slums and even more sunshine. It has a very diverse ecosystem. In the vast and wild shanties and the backstreets where cannabis plants thrive, scorpions, land crabs, giant fucking spiders and snakes can be found. Occasionally, even rare sea turtles and piranhas can be spotted in the sewers. It is a delightfully fucked up place

02 - Adıyaman

One of the smaller cities of Turkey, its kinda like the South Dakota of Turkey in a sense that aside from a bunch of statues on a mountain, its a desolate wasteland.

03 - Afyonkarahisar (or just Afyon)

This city is named after opium, just throwing that out there. Its a large yet forgotten city. Its mostly a conservative islamist place and ir has great kadayıf topped with buffalo cream.

04 - Ağrı

Armenians want this city because it has (half of) mount ararat, atleast its significant to some people. Because other than having (half of) the largest mountain in Turkey and a couple old Armenian churches, Its cold as shit, the name of the city literally means “pain” in Turkish

05 - Amasya

This city is only known for having apples

06 - Ankara

Ankara is unique in a sense that 100 years ago, it was literally nothing, but now its the capital of Turkey. Its known for its obsession with the Saz which is a kind of Turkish guitar and having a shitton of malls. The best part about visiting Ankara is going back to Istanbul.

07 - Antalya

It has a lot of hotel resorts and beautiful beaches. However with the exception of places like Kaş, most of those places are utter shite. It has alot of perverted drunkards desperately wanting bobs and vegene from Russian women

08 - Artvin

Right next to Georgia, Its the honey capital of Turkey and is one of the only places in the world where beekeepers earn more than doctors. In contrast to the surrounding cities, its a fairly chill and a nice place to visit.

09 - Aydın

Its alot like İzmir, but unlike İzmir, it has actually preserved its culture and is not a generic metropolis. Thats why the chips brand Lays’ chose a woman from Aydın to be its mascot in Turkey. Yiyin gari !

10 - Balıkesir

I don’t know about this city, do you know about this city? because i don’t

11 - Bilecik

Bilecik is a city that is not real. It doesn't exist, it never existed and it will never exist. If you think this city is real you are an idiot

12 - Bingöl

Land of a thousand lakes... and kurds

13 - Bitlis

Bitlis is kinda like the apendix. You don't hear about it until something bad happens to it. Most of the time, the city is in Curfew. Its a hotbed for terrorist activities, done by either the PKK or ISIS. Its also the least toutistic city with only 120 foreign visiors the last year

14 - Bolu

I've been there and had a bad experience. It is the westernmost uncivilised city in Turkey. Despite being between Istanbul and Ankara, Its unclean, backwards and despicable. I once had to use a gas station bathroom there, and to my surprise, it was not that bad. Just a couple pubes and shit in the urinals but could have been worse since people prefer doing their business on the highway as opposed to actual restrooms.

15 - Burdur

Its known for its walnuts. They eat walnuts all the time. They even make walnut butter, which is peanut butter for those with peanut allergies

16 - Bursa

Bursa is the land of contradictions. That is, despite having a large conservative islamist population, it is known for its Transgender community. However make no mistakes, the Transgenders from Bursa arent lik your regular friendly trans friends who attend pride parades and are cool to hang out with. Transgenders from Bursa are wild and are best to be avoided. This isn’t because they are trans (i do not condone homophobia) but its because they are from Bursa. Even if they were straight, they’d still stab you, either with their switchblades or with their döner kebabs.

17 - Çanakkale

This is the Normandy of Turkey as this was where the Gallipoli Campaign took place. This was the only place where the Turkish army actually won a battle in the first world war. Today, thousand of people from all over Turkey and even those from Australia and New Zealand come here to pay their respects. Naturally, because of this, Çanakkale has a patriotic population, and people from there are pretty cool. Altrough they may have problems with alcohol.

18 - Çankırı

This is the city with the slowest population growth in all of Turkey. For some time, I have thought that this was a part of Ankara, but apparently, its a city of its own.

19 - Çorum

This is what would happen in Adana and Bolu had a child. While its less chaotic than Adana, its still as uncivilized as Bolu. They have held a pride parade with only 6 attendants which is kind of sad. They also butchered a sheep to celebrate the opening of an animal rights group.

20 - Denizli

While its name literally means “The place with a sea” in English, it is landlocked. The reason why is because it used to be called “Domuzlu” which means “The place with pigs” but over time, it turned into Denizli. Because of this, it became the ass of all jokes and has lead to millions of confused tourists. It also has Pamukkale with its glorious travertines.

MORE CITIES COMING SOON