Israelcube

Israelcube is a country located in the Levant. He is the only country that has a Jewish majority in the world, and he was born in 1948 from a mix of EUball,African Unionball(Moroccoball included), Soviet Unionball, and a few other Kebab in Middle East. He hates kebab, yet alot of Jews come from kebab.

There are some countri es that do not recognize the "cube", such as when they do not accept their passports. There are also countryballs that want him gone for what they officially describe as "resistance".

The appearance of Israel as a cube is because of Jewish physics. If someone asks why Israel is a cube, the proper thing to do is respond with, in all caps: "JEWISH PHYSICS".

Personality
The Jewish identity, and everything from its culture to religion, was established around a central foundation: The Promised clay, Canaan. It was the clay from where the first Jew, Abraham, was commanded by the supreme god YHVH to be the clay of Milk and Honey on where they would establish a state and therefore end their past homeless nomadic life. The Jews reproduced on Canaan until a famine forced them to migrate to Egypt with the help of the Pharaoh's advisor Joseph. However, when Joseph died, the succeeding pharaoh Seti I became fearful of the Jewish reproduction rate and ordered them to slavery until to be rescued by the adopted prince of Egypt Moses. On the Sinai Peninsula, Moses received the Ten Commandments-written by no other than YHVH HIMSELF-that which are now stored in the lost artifact called the Ark of the Covenant. The Jews brought the Covenant back to Canaan, only to find that it was occupied by other powers such as the Philistines. It was clear, throughout their Scripture, that Jews held so much dear upon the Clay that YHVH Himself, their God and Saviour, gave to them.

The Jewish mythology of the "Messiah" described a possible hope for complete Jewish independence from foreign powers through the quintessential Saviour: The "Mashiach". During the time of their rule as a province of SPQRball, many of these Messiahs tried to promise just that, including the pacifist Yeshua bar Yosef, aka Jesus Christ(Whom they killed.). While pacifists such as Jesus failed to promise such independence, others such as the resistance movement of fanatics called Zealots resorted to more violent means, and boy did they do it with such a frequency that the Roman emperor Vespasian and Titus decided to scatter them throughout the Roman empire, and work as merchants.

And this, the curse of repeatedly being torn away from Canaan and the primal instinct to return to it, was what mutated the Jews from an obscure group of militaristic nationalists, into the Machiavellian master manipulators of the entire World that they shall become stereotyped for ages to come.

Traditionally, Jews were often portrayed as economics masters in the bad sense, as high financiers and bankers who, while managing the monies of the European royal families, were very sneaky and stealth-centric loan sharks who invented the concept of Interest to create wealth out of nothing but the borrower's promise to pay more than whatever he has borrowed (insert Rothschild joke here). However, their status as a Shylock was for a good reason: they were never allowed the right to a feudal estate unlike Christians, and Jews were confined to quarters called ghettoes. However, they were able to navigate around that law by taking up professions that were portable and not bound on a specific estate, for example a doctor, a lawyer, or most stereotypically, a moneylender.

By the time of the 1800s, the "greedy Rothschild" lost more and more validity as Jews such as Albert Einstein became more known as cutting-edge physicists. However, the Nazis, wanting revenge for their exceedingly unpaid debts that crashed their economy, placed the blame on the Rothschilds, who did loaned money to the belligerent powers of World War I, and took the stereotype to its most extreme that all Jews were loan sharks.

Nowadays, Israelcube is a lot different from its sneaky, manipulative persona because it got what it wanted all its thousand years of history: Canaan, the Promised Clay. All the Machiavellianism that Jewry did in the past was for the sake of being able to return to the clay from which they were banished by those damned Romans. Canaan was theirs, and the Israelites will stay upon the clay that YHVH commanded them to stay. Now, Israelcube has returned to what it was in Davidic times: is a highly territorial and militaristic state, surrounded by Kebab from all sides, and those Kebabs will not stop at removing Kosher from its Promised Clay. Kebab (except Egyptball,Jordanball and Saudi Arabiaball) and Persian nations are very hostile towards Israel, which is militarily-supported by the USA and everyone else because after the "The Six Day War" everyone scared of the cube. HAHAHAHAHA best year ever!

Friends

 * Jewpiter - Is of best planet! Headquarters
 * Azerbaijanball - Because anyone who dislikes Iranball is my friend, even if kebab themselves. take dat nuclear iranball!!1!
 * USAball - Gib weapons, and don't forget dome shekels Illuminati buddies
 * Trilluminati - Gib more shiny weapons plox. W​e control yuo
 * Russiaball - More weapons goy instead of Iran, but good friend Puppet XpOtynp.jpg
 * Germoneyball (Reichtangle of Merkel) - Apology of Accepted. He recognizes my dear brother Palestineball and hates israelcube. is antisemite BUT REMEMBER ZE HOLOCAUST! is becoming kebab
 * Saudi Arabiaball - At least they are not bad as the other kebabs are. Seriously,are good kebab
 * Jewish Autonomous Oblastcube - Fellow Jewcube, but practices Eastern Orthodox. Puppet
 * Tringapore: Helped build and train Tringapore's armed forces in the art of Kebab removal (his neighbours, Malaysiaball and Indonesiaball are Kebabs and out to anschluss him). Puppet
 * Bulgariaball: Bulgaria accepts jews filming on his clay! Also,they both hates nazies! Puppet
 * South Koreaball - good military trading partners. We use a lot of Korean electronics in our sophisticated weapons! I fought his evil brother during the Yom-Kippur War. Puppet
 * Philippinesball - good friend. Provided safe refuge for several Jews during World War II. I gib him new weapons and equipment to fight that bully. Puppet

Not so secret friends

 * Indiaball : Helpings of Indiaball in Wars on Pakistanball and sellings retried soldiers and Hitech weapons (plox) to Indiaball, (and "Tarnegól Hódu/India Chicken" also Hebrew name for turkey (bird)), but Indiaball do not supportings of Israelcube in public Puppet
 * Sri Lankaball : Helped Sri Lankaball in removing terrorists, including training, fighter jets, and attack boats Puppet
 * Eritreaball : Worked together to remove Yemenball does not recognizing Palestineball. Puppet

Neutral

 * Serbiaball - Not of Antisemitic kind and Removing Kabab also. He also recognizes my dear brother Palestineball - YUO ARE OF WORST TERRORIST EVER!!!, GO AWAY U KILL YOUR OWN POEPLE I DID NOTHING!, I GOT IRON DOME THAT MEANS A ROBOT THAT CAN SHOOT U TERRORISTS NUCLEARS AWAY!!!, I GOT A VERY BADASS ALARM SYSTEM U NOT!! U ATTACK PALESTINE!! ME OF NOTHINGINGS!!! U ARE SO CLOSE TO MY BORDER AND I HATE TERRORISTS!, THANK YUO FOR TESTING MY SKILLS NOW IM READY TO NUKE IRAN BE PREPARED FOR Uranusball IRAN'S CRIMES!! GET READY TO BE NUKED BITCH!   Puppet thisdoesnotgowellwithkebabheadline
 * Spainball - He too recognizes my dear brother Palestineball and hates us like filth anti-semite. Puppet
 * Swedenball - Even he recognizes my dear brother Palestineball and nowadays i don't know if he is of kebab or not. Puppet
 * Transjordanball - GET OFF THE FENCE Puppet
 * Egyptball - GET OFF THE FENCE i gib you shiny weapons if you remove gazaball Puppet
 * Canucks - Not sure if kebab remover because of ISISball or still weakling. Puppet
 * Polandball - Dependant on me for their buses.  Puppet
 * Armeniaball - We are of similar. But my Holocaust was of way worse despite what he says of his "massacre" (Turkeyball not allow me to say "Recáħ Зám"). Puppet
 * Moroccoball - I'm not sure. He gives us more people, but he's a kebab. Puppet
 * Chinaball - not sure but stop copying my Iron Dome! Puppet
 * Turkeyball - were good friends until 2010 when ship disaster happened and lost relations but now we secretly are reconciliation since we are only two civilized people of disaster middle east and we need each other but don't want to end blockade yet. Puppet

Enemies

 * Naziball - WHERE IS OF MY APPOLOGY? OR ELSE I MAKE YUO APPOLOGIZE! REMOVE HOLOCAUST! HISTORY REPEATS WITH ANGELAMERKEL KEBABS undefinedpupet
 * Cubaball Puppet
 * Kebabs of most kind Puppets
 * Gazaball - Gaza Is of Israel clay! Fucking Hamas... I certainly liked Fatah more. Puppet
 * Iranball - Wanna take me out, COME ON! I'm not of afraid! 1967 best year of my life motherfucker!! Puppet
 * Lebanonball - civil war Puppet
 * Syriaball - and to think she was strongest enemy. Puppet
 * Turkmenistanball and North Koreaball - Imitatings? MY CRAZY? ONLY ISRAEL CAN INTO CRAZY!!! YUO DIE NAW!!!! MUWÁЗĦA3ĦA3ĦA3ĦA3ĦA3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Puppet

Rival Sons

 * Tel Avivcube - Israelcube's favorite son, has imperial ambitions. Always wants lands and money and loves building towers.
 * Bat Yamcube - Blocks Tel Avivcube's imperial plans.

A Brief History
Jewcubes have an independent kingdom. They were conquered by Ancient Egyptball, Babylonball and Ancient Greeceball. They become independent for a time but they were conquered by SPQRball, Byzantineball, Ottomanball, Arabballs and UKball. Jewcubes become, finally, an independent nation thanks to UNball. But Palestineball, Egyptball and Iraqball don't like Israelcube and they take Gazaball.

Quotes

 * "Shalom!"
 * "SURPRISE SETTLEMENT!"
 * "Mazal tov!"
 * "Oy vey!"
 * "GET FUCK OUT! I SHOOT YUO!!!!"
 * "REMEMBER HOLOCAUST!"
 * "Muh goyim!"
 * "Antisemite..."
 * "dis my clay now"
 * REMOVE IRAN'S NUKES FORM THE PREMISES!!!!!!!
 * "Scout, Scout"

Links

 * Facebook page