Estoniaball

"''There is no god." ''

-Estoniaball

Estoniaball is located south of Finlandball, north of Latviaball and east of Swedenball.

Estoniaball is a small country with a lot of history, most of which won't fit here. Estoniaball is transgender, which makes it easier to fit him/her into many different contexts in Polandball comics. Estoniaball calls him/herself Eesti, which is an Estonified name from the Eistland, a name given to him/her by Vikingball. Eesti has thought of asking his/her official name in English be changed to Estland, because Estonia sounds very Eastern, which he/she isn't, and Estland is her /his name in all the Germanic languages.

History
Eesti is a countryball that rolled to its current location from the Uralic mountains with Finlandball thousands of years ago, making both of them former mongoloids, who have now grown caucasian looks. Estoniaball was a fierce fighter, who razed Swedish Viking settlements, while maintaining good trading relations with Arabs and the Vikings from Denmark and past Kattegat. But when the Teutonic Order moved to Poland, missionaries went to find revertable pagans from up north. Estoniaball didn't really like to be bothered from his druidic beliefs of giving sacrifices to gods like Taara (possible loan from Thor), Uku (God of Weather) and Peko (God of Luck and Protector of Harvest) at glacial erratic hiidet (sacred groves), two of those Deities were also praised in Finland (Ukko and Pekko/Pekka). If the Christian missionaries became too disturbing, they could've found themselves being drowned, killed or sacrificed. The Teutonic Order didn't take that with joy and started to civilise Latviaball, which was then inhabited by Livoniaball, who died in 2013. Livoniaball was afraid of the Teutonic Order, but seeing that he had been given the chance to cooperate with the Christians, quickly became their vassal. Eesti was outraged, when the Christians started to burn down southernmost farms in Ugandi and Sakala. Back then Eesti was divided into 14 communes, some of which exist to this day as counties. The most obvious reason for the defeat of Eesti is that the commune elders couldn't unite because of different terms, which meant the battlefield could be composed of e.g. Sakala men, Teutonic Order men and Alempois men fighting against eachother. The last to lose was Saaremaa (largest island of Eesti). Estoniaball was attacked by Denmarkball from the north, Swedenball from the west, Teutonic Order from the south and Russiaball from the east.

First things were easier, all the worst things they made Eesti do was replace most of the hiidet with churches and build new manors and fortresses for the captors. Towns of Reval (Tallinn), Pernau (Pärnu), Fellin (Viljandi) and Dorpat (Tartu) joined the Hanseatic League. But later on Estoniaball faced serfdom. Eesti made a huge rebellion in 1343-5, razing over 100 squire residences and killing many vassals. 4 outstanding fighters were chosen out of the protesters' army and were deemed Kings to represent them. They were invited to negotiations at Weißenstein (Paide) Castle, where the heads of the Order brutally murdered the four Kings. After that Denmark sold all of its northern Eesti to the Teutonic Order.

In 1558 the Livonian War was started by Ivan IV of Russiaball, craving access to the Baltic Sea. Russiaball hid the true reason of war behind a claim that Dorpat owed Russiaball tax money from 3 centuries ago. Teutonic Order's Livonian branch was already so out of date that it crumbled down before Russia in only a few battles. And with that, the client state Kingdom of Livonia was founded, with Oberpahlen (Põltsamaa) as its capital and the Danish king as its ruler. Soon Sweden- and Polandball joined the war and won in 1583. Swedenball earned Eesti and Ingeria. Swedenball was polite enough to abandon the serfdom law and furthermore establish an education program for peasants. Gustav II Adolf of Swedenball also founded the first gymnasium and university of Estoniaball.

In 1700, Peter I of Russiaball started the Northern War. Swedenball was fighting on so many fronts, plus a plague epidemic spread in Eesti, that Swedenball gave Estoniaball to Russiaball in 1710 and serfdom was reinstated.

Eesti was so stood up with Russiaball that he/she started to rise up against him and demand autonomy. Russiaball didn't approve of that. He abandoned the serfdom system in 1816, but things were still complicated. Finally Russiaball had had enough and started to Russify Eesti in the end of the 19th century. That didn't go as planned, instead the rage grew so big that when WWI began and Reichtangle arrived in Eesti, he/she used the loose situation to declare independent from Russiaball.

Russiaball died by its tumor, which grew to become Sovietball, and in 1918-20, the War of Independence halted the development of the newlyborn Republic. The war ended in 1920 when Estoniaball had Petrograd (Sankt-Peterburg) surrounded and Russiaball surrendered by agreeing to recognise Estoniaball as a free nation. Estoniaball wasn't very influential in the 20s, but had grown productive enough to become a top nation in the 30s. The income from high-quality industrial and agricultural export had made the arts and science flourish. At that time Eesti was also very Christian. But in the end of 30s the authoritarian President Päts did a grave mistake, as he feared Russian invasion, he took example of Finland and agreed to let Sovietball build his army bases on his/her territory. Eesti was slowly devoured by Sovietball in 1940. In 1941, Third Reich was greeted with joy when it liberated Eesti from Sovietball, but that was shortlived.

1944 Sovietball defeated the Third Reich and re-claimed Estoniaball. Esti was happies to be back, however, Sovietball neglected Esti by forcing esti to watch soviet propaganda all day every day, usually being forced to re-enact what the good semeritan of the ptopaganda was doing.Who spoke out against the occupation, were landowners, leading government workers, industrialists, businessmen or had in any way been a nuisance to Sovietball (e.g. War of Independence veterans), were given a visit by some men with guns to pack their things and leave in 2 hours, a truck was waiting outside, which took them to a cargo train. Those cargo trains deported those people to labour camps worse than German concentration camps. Then all farms were forced to unite into collective farms. Bombed down buildings, that were back then or would've today been considered as works of art, were not restored, but replaced with panel blocks. Life became neater after Stalin's death and the beginning of the rule of Hrushtshov of Ukraineball. In 1980, the Olympic Regatta was held in Eesti, for which a lot of new more modern buildings were built (e.g. Olympic Hotel) By 1989, Eesti was too fed up with being someone else's property, so he/she ganged up with Latvia- and Lithuaniaball against Sovietball, forming the Baltic Way. Sovietball tried to scare people with his tanks, but Eesti was stronk! And gained reindependence in 1991. Estoniaball joined the UN in 1991, NATO and EU in 2004. Eesti replaced his/her Kroon (Crown) in 2011 with the Euro.

Accomplishments
Estoniaball had the idea and programmed Skype with Sweden- and Denmarkball's funding.

Estoniaball is proud of independently discovering alcohol, especially beer and vodka, being involved with the inventing of the Finnish Sauna (as it's very likely the Sauna was made by Estoniaball and Finlandball took it with him/her and got popular through Finland), the grand cultural heritage and the well-preserved farms, medieval quarters and colonial-looking industrial workers' quarters.

Estoniaball was also well.known as an exporter of top-quality glass, chocolate, bacon meat, alcohol, eggs, butter, milk and honey cakes in the 30s.

Estoniaball is also fully covered with WI-FI and mobile connection.

He/she doesn't have much clay, but he/she's got a lot of pine woods, limestone, mires, peat, mineral water deposits, phosphorite and kukersite oil shale, and deep inside Estoniaball is granite, from Finland.

Personality
Estoniaball hates it if he/she's confused with another Baltic or Slavic nation, also hates to be categorised as an Eastern European country.

He/she is friendly and is very eager to be accepted as a Nord. When around siblings (Lithuaniaball or Latviaball), he/she tends to be an asshole.

Estoniaball is the country that drinks the most, beating Polandball, Russiaball and Finlandball.

Estoniaball also loves potato, pork and dark rye bread, Estoniaball can be very hardworking. Estoniaball does enjoy Georgian and Italian cuisine a lot, some of the beverage factories produce lemonades originating from Georgia (e.g. tarhun).

Relations and Biological origin
Estoniaball wants to be in the Nordic countries, like his master Finlandball, but they hate Estoniaball. No-one is on friendly terms with Eesti. Estoniaball has a say in many international votes and beyond, but as he/she's so small, little attention is shown towards him/her, when the voting box is passed over to him/her. Eesti is also allies with USAball, UKball, Franceball, Polandball, Swedenball, Greeceball, Kosovoball, Czechball, Spainball, Monacoball, Denmarkball, Japanball, Norwayball and friends with Ukraineball, Italyball, Brazilball and Australiaball. Estoniaball has the most consulates in the World. Estoniaball is neutral with Western Saharaball and is most of the time against aiding Russiaball in any way, e.g. Eesti didn't permit Russia to build his gas pipe along the Finnish Gulf, which probably caused the invasion of Crimea.

Estoniaball isn't in love with Finlandball, as he/she is his/her father/mother, but Eesti does admire how his/her son/daughter has become much more succesful. Finlandball didn't like the land Estoniaball picked as it was too piny and sandy, so he/she crossed the gulf and settled there. Many basic words are very similar to eachother in their languages, moreso than Indo-European languages, whileas Latvian and Russian are purely non-related, excluding the fact that some words may be borrowed from Estonian and vice versa:

Many words also take another meaning in such a period. In Estonian a drumlin is called Voor and any sort of mountain is called Mägi, hills are also called Küngas, but in naming places, Mägi is the winner. But in Finnish, a drumlin is called drumliini, which is obviously a foreign word, Mäki is a hill and Vuori is a mountain. Another example is that a letter, script or a text in Estonian is Kiri and a book is Raamat. And even though, in Finnish, a letter is Kirjä, a book is Kirja and the bible is Raamattu, making it sound like "The Book". By the way bible in Estonian is Piibel.
 * English - Estonian - Finnish - Latvian - Russian
 * Meat - Liha - Liha - Gaļa - Mjaso
 * Bog - Soo - Suo - Purvs - Balota
 * Vodka - Viin - Viina - Vodka - Vodka
 * Tree - Puu - Puu - Koks - Djerjevo
 * Pike - Haug - Hauki -  Līdaka - Shuka
 * Zander - Koha - Kuha - Zandarta - Sudak
 * Perch - Ahven - Ahven - Asaris - Okun
 * Bear - Karu - Karhu - Lācis - Mjedvjed
 * Lynx - Ilves - Ilves - Lūsis - Rys
 * Squirrel - Orav - Orava - Vāvere - Bjelka
 * Stone - Kivi - Kivi - Akmens - Kamjen
 * One - Üks - Yksi - Viens - Adin
 * Two - Kaks - Kaksi - Divi - Dva
 * Three - Kolm - Kolme - Trīs - Tri
 * Textile/fabric - Kangas - Kangas - Audums - Tkan
 * Farm - Talu - Talo - Saimniecība - Hutor
 * Hello - Tere - Terve - Sveiki - Zdravstvujtje

Russiaball despises Estoniaball for not letting him rule her/his clay.

Most other countries don't really care about him/her because he/she is so small and internationally uninfluential, even though he/she tries, and one day probably will be. Germany makes Estonia to pay EU taxes.

Stereotypes & How to draw
Estoniaball most popular stereotype is "Eesti can (or cannot, depends on the context) into Nordic", followed by him arguing with the Scandinavian kingdoms about being a Nord. In reality Eesti is a Baltic country, not Scandinavian. Estoniaball is also from time to time depicted wearing a pink bowtie and rubbing herself against Finlandball. That is true. Estonia is pretty much Finlands little slave. The best way to depict him as is either a sneaky criminal or as a footpad. Estoniaball is also a heavy drinker, is good at IT, brewing, construction and carpentry and can be drawn wearing a murumüts [See picture ], a karhu pipo [See picture ] or a läkiläki (ushanka, open) and carrying a small Estonian flag, a bottle of beer or vodka or an agricultural tool. Although it's not as popular as in Finland, kantele is an ethnic instrument of Eesti too, it's called kannel and there are 6 different types of it and can be drawn next to Estoniaball in a comic. Eesti is fond of pork and potatoes.

How to draw: Here are some Estonian phrases:
 * 1) Handdraw a circle.
 * 2) Make eyes big or above average. Small eyes look even smaller, because the middle stripe of the tricolour is pitchblack.
 * 3) Add the tricolour (Blue: R=18 G=145 B=255).
 * 4) (Optional) You can also portray Eesti with a Nordic Cross [1] [2].
 * 5) (Optional) Add headwear.
 * Hello - Tere
 * Hi - Tsau (friendly), Tsauki (very familiar)
 * Good Bye - Head aega
 * Bye - Tsau (equivalent of Ciao)
 * See you - Nägemiseni / Kohtumiseni (formal), Nägudeni (less formal), Näeme jälle (friendly)
 * What's up? - Kuidas läheb? (formal), Mis teed? (familiar), Mis teete? (plural), Mis toimub / teoksil?
 * Damn it - Põrgut (equivalent of Perkele), Kurat, Raisk, Persse / Türa küll noh, Täitsa perses
 * Oh fuck - Ah sa / Oi raisk / raibe, Mida putsi / vittu / munni, Oh sa poiss, Oi bljäääd (comes from Russian)
 * Go fuck yourself - Mine persse / põrgu / munni / putsi
 * Excuse me - Vabandage / Vabandust, Andke andeks