Russiaball

Russiaball is a large countryball in Eurasia. Russiaball is usually stronk, powerful and demanding, And known for its constant rivalry against USAball and Germanyball. He can into space, and in fact he is the first into space.

Personality
"Alcoholic" could not even begin to describe Russiaball. Wherever he goes, he carries a bottle of vodka with him. In fact, in Russia, shot glasses do not exist because everyone is expected to down the Vodka in one gulp. St. Vladimir the Great of the Kievan Rus was the source of the above quote, as a response to Islamic prohibition of alcohol. The ancestors of Russiaball removed Kebab and converted to orthodoxy exactly because kebab removes vodka. Indeed, alcohol also serves a utilitarian purpose in Russian life; they help survive the cold, they can be used as disinfectant, and even their tanks can run on Vodka. During Victory over Europe, Stalin threw a massive party so vast they ran out of Vodka. The previous Imperial and Communist regimes knew this, and personally managed the sell of alcohol.

But Russia today is a pretty sad and dilapidated place. Alcoholism continues to accelerate to insane levels, and amongst the very poor who could not even afford a bottle of vodka, they instead turned to Krokodil, which is highly addictive and literally ate your flesh alive like some kind of super-Ebola. There is a reason for Russiaball having lost pride in itself and could not manage a single second without vodka: he used to be a world-spanning empire that scared even USAball. What makes it different from the previous collapse of superpowers like SPQRball into Italyball was that Sovietball possessed so much nukes he could EXTERMINATUS the entire Planet many times over. Everybody, even USAball was understandably scared shitless of the might of the Soviet empire, and almost every Cold War fiction depicted that either the USSR must necessarily exist and into Space forever, or a war will completely wipe all life on the face of the planet. The only way for Sovietball to end, was not with a whimper, but with an epic BANG.

Until an idiot named Mikhail Gorbachev took away the Vodka.

Gorbachev was the most unpopular of the Soviet leaders; even Stalin led Russiaball from a backwater in the arch-nemesis of USAball. The epic nuclear war films of world War III, they were all wrong. Russia went with a whimper, reduced to Tricolours with Rusting Rockets. No wonder the current alcohol epidemic of an empire that rotted from within itself. However, from this background of chaos and Mafias rose a KGB agent named Vladimir Putin who promised to make Russiaball a great power once again, negotiating alliances with old friend Chinaball. Though, he was controversial as well for removing Gays and Kebab from Russian premises, which earned him the ire of EUball.

Relationships

 * Chinaball- Best friend even during the Sino-Soviet Split.
 * USAball - Friendly rival. They share a tremendously large nuclear arsenal. They are mostly shown laughing at Polandball, for he some reason. They usually play Global Thermonuclear Chess while cheers on the rum and vodka .But since 2014,their relationship have gone a major breaking point. They now do sanction to each other.
 * Merkelreichtangle - The Antichrist. The evil abomination born from the Whore of Babylon as the homosexual son of Satan, the Arch-nemesis of the Slavic race since the beginning of time. REMOVE TEUTONIC KNIGHTS, REMOVE PRUSSIA, REMOVE ANSCHLUSS, REMOVE NAZI! ANGELA MERKEL IS ADOLF HITLER'S GAY DAUGHTER! REMOVE BEER KRAUT AND THEIR HOMO KEBAB ALLIES FROM THE PREMISES! RUSSIAN SLAV WINTER STRONK, VLADIMIR ILYICH PUTIN STRONKER THAN ANGELA HITLER, BRICS STRONKER THAN MERKELREICH, STALINGRAD BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! SAINT ALEXANDER NEVSKY SHALL RETURN TO SEND THE HOMOKRAUTS AND THE KEBABS BACK TO HELL!! Best drinking buddies ever. Really, because Putin said so, therefore it's right. If Putin said it, therefore it must be true. War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength, Drink more Vodka.
 * Kebab - They remove vodka. Literally (alcohol is against Sharia). And they stole Constantinople! Best friends with Merkelreichtangle and therefore threat to Russia.
 * Eastern Orthodoxy - State religion of the Holy Russian Empire, and bulwark against the German devil (forget the atheist Soviet era, it never worked.)
 * UKball, Swedenball, Denmarkball, Norwayball and Switzerlandball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Protestantism is HERESY made by Capitalist Vikings!
 * Vaticanball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Catholicism is HERESY made by German barbarians!
 * Japanball - Worthy opponent, they treated our prisoners like gentlemen during the Russo-Japanese War. Our book Lolita is number one bestseller there. Now a loyal bondage slave of the German devil.
 * Polandball - Catholic HERETICS Cute little lolita sister. Always teases and bullies her, and so adorable when she cries Kur-Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~!
 * Ukraineball - Traitorous apostates who hate us because Natalia Poklonskaya used her Slavic sexiness to Anschluss free Crimea.
 * Canadaball - Canada and Russia were buddies as vast resource-rich countries. They sometimes get abit hostile to each other over arctic clay or a hockey game. Their friendship has deteriorated since that really awful disgrace of a video game sequel. As of 2014,their relationship have greatly worsened.
 * Icelandball - Just arctic buddies...
 * Belarusball Russia's sister that of loves him too much and wants to move in to his house but Russia doesn't let her.
 * Kazakbrick Russia's neighbor and friend. Kazakstan sometimes lets Russia use his lawn for launching rockets into space and into anybody he wants removed.
 * Balkan Countries - Most of the countries of the Ballkans are Russia's cousins and hang out alot. With the exception of Shqipball and Greeceball. Macedonia, Romania, Bulgaria, Serbia, Croatia, Bosnia and Slovenia are his cousins.
 * Moldovaball - Doesn't want her to be with Romania and EU.
 * Macedoniaball - Doesn't want him to be with Bulgaria
 * Brazilball - Well, they are a part of BRICS, add vodka in their cocktails, and hate the German devil, so why not?

Links

 * Facebook page