User blog:WestKoreaBestKorea/how I lost my shadow

many of you do not know this, as I have never shown myself, but I do not have a shodow in any of my forms (as a countryball, fursona, pile of asstatine, katyusha rocket launcher, and the nation of West Korea). now you know the basic fact, I am free to tell my story.

I retained a shadow like any entity, normie, shitposter, object, or otherwise. I strived to become a shitposter, but at the same time I had to study astrophysics, partical physics, and the way of the Slav. despite not being a very good shitposter, I still was the best within the Andromeda Galaxy, as most other shitposters were purged by the normie occupational government. I hid my shitposts, and spread them in hope of damaging the normies. one day, however, when I was 2.67 billion years of age, I was kidnapped. I was afraid that the normies found me; instead it was a Slav named Dmitri. he took me to the Milky Way Galaxy where the Slavs and shitposters have allied together against the normies, fascists, and communists. this would later become the 3rd Great Shitpost War, where Cynical single-handedly defeated an entire normie regiment. I was trained in the Slavic ways, despite being a non-Slav. I was taught squatting as well as vodka drinking, barely surviving the latter. eventually, however, the 3rd Great Shitpost war ended and my training halted. the Slavs gave me 2 vodka bottles and some shitpists, and told me I had to find my own path. I squatted and flew off into deep space, and jumped from planet to planet. I settled in Kepler-452b's outer core, and made my home there. my studies in shitposting were still interrupted, but I persisted. then, CERN hired me to hunt for any normie holdouts on the Moon. I squatted again, and traveled to the Moon. because the Moon has no gravity, I was told to use a special device to hold down my shadow. we soon found a band of normies, and a small firefight ensued. my shadow-holder was hit, and thus my shadow floated off into space. I tried to search for it, but I later learned it descended in Earth's atmosphere over Chelyabinsk, and exploded. ever since, I have traveled without a shadow.