Russiaball

"xaxaxa polan i trick yuo"

- Russia after tricking Poland

Russiaball (or Russian Federationball) is a large, Orthodox and stronk countryball in Eurasia and covers more clay on Earthball than any other country.

Russiaball is usually strong, proud, and it got better compared to its old Soviet days, and known for its constant rivalry against Pindosiyaball and  Germanyball and its worst enemy ( and nightmare ) is  NATOball.

He can into space, and in fact he is the first into space. However, Russiaball is grumpy with the  USAball and  Turkeyball. Russiaball has fairly good relations with Chinaball but dislikes  Japanball.

He loves (not homosex though) his Slavic family, his best friends are Belarusball and  Kazakhbrick.

Russiaball is a member of the G20 (Group of Twenty), a club formed by the countryballs that have the 19 largest economies plus that Sissies Club. He is starting to be bittersweet relations with USAball.

He is also the 2nd greatest military power in the world.

The Joy of Rus
"Alcoholic" could not even begin to describe Russiaball. Wherever he goes, he carries a bottle of vodka with him. In fact, in Russia, shot glasses don't exist because everyone is expected to down the Vodka in one gulp. St. Vladimir the Great of the Kievan Rusball was the source of the quote, “Drinking is the Joy of the Rus, we cannot exist without that pleasure”. The ancestors of Russiaball removed Kebab and converted to orthodoxy exactly because kebab removes vodka.

Indeed, the compound known as Ethanol serves a utilitarian purpose in Russian life; they help survive the cold, they can be used as disinfectant, and we do know that ethanol has a high octane rate which was why scientists are so interested in the manufacture of ethanol from waste biomass in order to fuel the upcoming energy crisis. In other words, since Vodka is basically Ethanol, even their tanks can run on Vodka.

During Victory over Europe, Stalin threw a massive party so vast they ran out of Vodka. The last Imperial and  Communist regimes knew this, and personally managed the sale of ethanol. Ethanol is the centre, life and blood of everything that is Russia. But Russia today is a pretty sad and dilapidated place. Alcoholism continues to accelerate to insane levels, and amongst the very poor who could not even afford a bottle of vodka, they instead turned to Krokodil, which is highly addictive and literally ate your flesh alive like some kind of super-Ebola.

Good Old Times
There is a reason for Russiaball having lost pride in itself and could not manage a single second without vodka:

He used to be a world-spanning empire that scared even  USAball. What makes it different from the previous collapse of superpowers like SPQRball into  Italyball was that  Soviet Unionball possessed so much nukes he could EXTERMINATUS the entire Planet many times over.

Everybody, even USAball was scared of the might of the  Soviet empire, and almost every Cold War fiction depicted that either the  USSR must necessarily exist and into Space forever, or a war will completely wipe all life on the face of the planet. The only way for Sovietball to end, was not with a whimper, but with an epic BANG.

Until an idiot named Mikhail Gorbachev took away the Vodka. Gorbachev was the most unpopular of the Soviet leaders; Stalin led Russiaball from a backwater in the nemesis of USAball. The epic nuclear war films of World War III, they were all wrong. Russia went with a whimper, reduced to Tricolours with Rusting Rockets. No wonder the current alcohol epidemic of an empire that rotted from within itself.

The Hope of Rus
However, from this background of chaos and Mafias of the 1990s rose a KGB agent named Vladimir Putin who promised to make Russiaball a great power once again, negotiating alliances with an old friend Chinaball. Though he was controversial as well for removing Gays and Kebab from Russian premises, which earned him the ire of that Sissies Club. But, thanks to his efforts, now Russia is returning to his former greatness, which was lost after the death of the USSR.

The Rise of Rus [[File:Kievan_Rus-icon.png]]
In the 9th century Ancient Slavs inhabited the lands that are now Russiaball. On these lands Slavs based 2 biggest rus' cities at that time: Novgorodball in the north and Kievball in the south. Novgorod was well-developed, strong, very warlike and unruly city, Novgorodians fought with all nearby tribes. In the late of 9th century citizens of Novgorodball invited Vikings to the city. "Our land is large and abundant, but there is no order in it", said Novgorodians to them and asked them to become rulers of the Novgorodball. The Vikings agreed. New rulers united southern Kievball and northern Novgorodball and forged them into a nation called Kievan Rusball. Slowly Viking rulers adopted native customs and language and were assimilated into Russian society.

In 988 Prince Vladimir Putin converted to Orthodoxyball and his people followed. Kievan Rusball began trading with Byzantiumball. After 1054 when Kievan Rusball's ruler Yarolslav the Wise died he broke up into a federation of princedoms.

The Mongol Era [[File:Mongol_Empire-icon.png]]
Meanwhile, Europe was attacked by -wait for it- the Mongols! At first, they destroyed towns and massacred the inhabitants but later let the Russian principalities rule themselves as long as they paid tribute.

" Lord Novgorodball the Great" (his favourite nickname) however was not invaded, but he wisely decided to voluntarily submit to the Mongol Empireball. While under the Mongols, Lord Novgorodball the Great decided to annex surrounding territory ( in Russiaball annexing territory is a national sport equal to drinking) and his ruler became the prince of Moscow in 1263. But it did not stop there, his next rulers also gradually kept annexing large amounts of territory, slowly becoming larger and stronger.

Ivan III (1462 - 1505) removed Mongol in 1480 ceasing to be a slave. He also annexed territory. The last independent parts of Russiaball were annexed by his son Vasili III thus Russiaball gradually became complete.

Tsardom of Russia
In 1547 he became Tsardom of Russiaball. In the 16th century Russiaball had far more contact with western Europe. Many European craftsmen came to work in Russiaball,  Englandball began trading by sea with him.

In 1533 Ivan the Terrible inherited the throne of Russiaball, he was crowned Tsar (derived from the Roman Caesar). He also expanded Russiaball territory annexing clay ( drinking and annexing are the joy of Rus ) mostly from the remains of  Mongol Empireball, HA! TAKE THAT NOOBS! TAKE IT! TAKE IT! YUO DESERVE IT! DON'T MESS WITH RUSKY! GG WP EASY! After that glorious period, Ivan became increasingly paranoid degenerating into a tyrant. He killed his own son. He died in 1584. His other son, Theodore, died in 1598 without leaving an heir and Russiaball entered a period of turmoil.

In 1603 a pole man aka "The False Dmitry" claiming to be Ivan the Terrible's youngest son Dmitry appeared. In reality, Dmitry died in 1591. He then raised an army and conquered Moscow in 1605. But he was replaced by Prince Vasily Shusky in 1606. Russiaball then descended into anarchy "It's of every vodka for himself!" until a man named Michael Romanov was made tsar of Russiaball, starting the era of the Romanov dynasty that would last for 300 years.

In 1645, Michael Romanov was succeeded by his son, Alexis the Most Gentle. During his reign, the Ukrainians, who were ruled by the Poles, sought protection from Russia. This event started The Deluge where Poland-Lithuaniaball lost more than half of its population, you had it coming! In 1667 Russia gained all of the Ukraine east of the Dneiper and Kiev and Smolensk.

In 1682 the famous Peter the Great became Tsar. He was determined to bring Russia up to date and turn it into a European nation. In 1696-97 he travelled to the west. He built a navy and in 1696 he captured Azov from kebab. Peter encouraged foreign trade, the translation of foreign books into Russian, the building of factories (peasants were conscripted to work in them), introduced the Julian calendar, reformed the Russian government and administration, introduced western dress and banned the Russian nobles (boyars) from wearing beards. When the patriarch died in 1700 Peter refused to replace him. Instead, he formed a body called a Holy Synod to head the Russian Orthodox Church.

The church was made subordinate to the Tsar and was meant to serve him. Peter also founded a port in northwest Russia called  St Petersburg. The new city was built in the years 1703-1712. Vast numbers of peasants were conscripted to do the work and many thousands of them died because of the harsh conditions. Peter also imposed heavy taxation on his people.

In 1700 Peter the Great went to war with Swedenball in what became known as The Great Northern War. ( Polandball and Denmarkball were his allies). In 1700 the he was defeated at Neva. However in 1709 Swedenball invaded  Ukraineball and were crushed at the Battle of Poltava. In 1721 he made peace with Swedenball gaining  Estonia and land around the Gulf of Finland. ( Ingriaball)

However Peter was less successful against the kebab. In 1710 he went to war with them but in 1711 his army was defeated and he was forced to make peace. He was forced to return Azov.

Russian Empire of Vodka [[File:RussianEmpire-icon.png]]
In 1721 Russia became the Russian Empireball. After Peter the Great's death in 1725 a few other boring ruler came. But then in 1762 came another Russian jewel: Catherine the Great.

Catherine was German, but she loved Russia with all of her heart. Under her reign, The Russian Empire has reached such heyday as under the rule of Peter the Great. Under Catherine's rule Russian Empireball continued to expand his clay. She fought a successful war with kebab in 1768-1774. As a result, Russian Empireball gained land by the Black Sea and in 1783 took Crimea. kebab lost still more territory after a war in 1787-1791.

In 1772, Russian Empireball,  Kingdom of Prussiaball and  Austrian Empireball helped themselves to a slice of  Polandball each. Russian Empireball and Kingdom of Prussiaball helped themselves to more  Polandball each in 1793. Finally in 1795  Russian Empireball,  Kingdom of Prussiaball and  Austrian Empireball divided up what was left of  Polandball between them. By the time Catherine died in 1796 Russia was very powerful.

Russian Empireball later fought with Franceball,  UKball,  Ottomanball, the  Japanese Empireball and the  German Empireball.

☭ The Golden Era of Communism [[File:Soviet-icon.png]] ☭
Main article: Soviet Unionball

Soviet Unionball was born in 1903 as Bolshevikball, which became Russian SFSRball, but had to defeat the traitorous white army. He emerged victorious in 1922, and attempted to spread communism into the former territories of his father's empire, creating Ukrainian and  Byelorussian SSRballs. But Polandball was able to stop communism's advance into Europe, for a while...

On 1st September 1939, Nazi Germanyball invaded Polandball's clay, followed by  Sovietball on the 17th of September, splitting  Polandball's clay up. Around this time, Sovietball was setting up gulags in  Siberia and kidnapping other countryballs who lived near him: like  Estoniaball,  Lativiaball, Lithuaniaball, and  Moldovaball, turning them into communist SSRballs. He even tried to annex Finlandball's, but was stopped by the more prepared  Finns.

World War II (1940-45)
In 1941 Nazi Germanyball broke the non-aggression pact and invaded  Sovietball' clay with Operation Barbarossa. Naziball besieged Leningrad, and reached the outskirts of Moscow by December 1941, but was forced back because of the Russian winter. The more prepared Sovietball took advantage of the delay by launching a counter-offensive in the spring. Then when Nazi Germanyball tried to take Stalingrad and the Caucasus Mountains, he held out in the city of Stalingrad, then surrounded  Nazi Germanyball's forces, trapping them.

Nazi Germanyball was defeated at the battle of Kursk, afterwards being thrown back, with Sovietball liberating  Minskball,  Kievball, Warsawball, and reaching Berlinball by February 1945, when  Nazi Germanyball committed. Not shortly after, Sovietball declared war on  Japanese Empireball, who surrendered to  USAball in September 1945, ending the war.

Cold War (1945-1991)
After World War II, Sovietball instated communist governments in many of the Eastern European countryballs he had liberated, such as  PR Hungaryball,  SR Romaniaball, and  PR Polandball. The part of Nazi Germanyball's clay he had occupied was given to his adoptive son  East Germanyball, in 1949, and an iron curtain descended across Europe, beginning the Cold War.

Sovietball's foe - NATOball was created, so Soviet made the  Warsaw Pact. In 1950, Sovietball helped  North Koreaball in the Korean War, then put down rebellions by  East Germanyball and  Hungaryball. Later USAball lost a proxy war to North Vietnamball in 1973.

In 1957 he sent Sputnik I into space, starting the Space Race between himself and USAball, sending himself (Yuri) into space in 1961, but lost being first into moon when  USAball got there in 1969.

In 1968 Sovietball started a nuclear power program in  Kazakh SSRbrick clay, by spying on  USAball. This caused some problems with USAball in 1962 when  Sovietball placed nuclear missiles on the newly-communist  Cubaball's clay, leading to the Cuban missile crisis. However, in 1986 the Chernobylball disaster made the Sovietball more cautious of this destructive technology.

By 1989, Sovietball's economy could no longer function properly and started to fracture, and he was forced to withdraw from Afganistanball's clay. In 1989 his Warsaw Pactball members started leave. In 1990 Lithuaniaball was the first to succeed and so did the others soon in 1991 after the military coup. The Soviet Union ultimately collapsed.

Ruski is not yet lost!
After the death of the father (or murder) Russiaball first behaved more lightly. But after the war in Chechnyaball, Russiaball pulled himself together and started to build a new life.

In 2014, Russiaball returned his son -  Crimeaball - to his clay, despite the fact that the almost rest of the world was against it.

Russia's history in a nutshell: CONQUEST RUSSIA STRONK!

Друзья (Friends)

 * China-icon.png Chinaball - Fake Commie!! ! Great friend.
 * Serbia-icon.png Serbiaball - Good Brother! But remove Vucic, he likes NATO.


 * Eastern Orthodoxy - State religion of the Holy Russian Empire, and bulwark against the German devil (forget the atheist Soviet era, it never worked. Besides  Nazi version of German Devil was removed, because Soviet people belived in бог).


 * India-icon.png Indiaball - I gib him lots of weapons so he likes me and I like him. Pays lots of monies. Also both in BRICS and SCO together. But y yuo no remob Kebab ? DEFEND CURRY!


 * Belarus-icon.png Belarusball - The best friend and little sister. Love her♥


 * Kazakhstan-icon.png Kazakhbrick - My brother. Kazakstan sometimes lets me use his lawn for launching rockets into space and into anybody he wants removed. Is of good Kebab.


 * Palestineball - His president was a KGB member in 1984. And this guy is an anti western. I usually help him against  those Damn jew.


 * Greece-icon.png Greeceball - Is also of orthodox and hates kebab.


 * Brazil-icon.png Brazilball - Well, they are a part of BRICS, add vodka in their cocktails, and hate the German devil, so why not?


 * Armenia-icon.png Armeniaball - A loyal friend in the Caucasus region (perhaps only friend there).


 * Eurasian Unionball - GREAT SOVIET SHALL RETURN! great Russia's son.


 * Iran-icon.png Iranball I know in the 19th century we were enemies but now we are of best friends and I like him, he also me. We are Strategic Allies, who knows who this works. Your capital Tehran is very big and cultureful I like it. Xaxaxa and We hate this capitalist Idiotic pig and NATO.


 * Bulgaria-icon.png Bulgariaball - Brother and one of my best friends. Even if Bulgariaball is in Nato and EU. But this makes him confused.


 * Egypt-icon.png Egyptball - Recently insane, relationships since I helpings him to remove kosher when I was of USSR long time of both helpings each other out, always of visiting Egyptball in vacation, she is makings me room in his new canal, of supporting christianity in there helped him in his canal war, He also supports me on Syriaball and his government is similar his, of likings him cause he was independent and anti-imperialist policy earned him enthusiastic support from the Communist government of the USSR.


 * Syria-icon.png Syriaball - Will of helping him get through his NATO-engineered civil war on top. I will defend you from Pindosiya  America.


 * Vietnam-icon.png Vietnamball - Good friend but stop calling me Soviet, am Russia.  Soviet is of my past self. Soon Soviet will return, Comrade!
 * Cubaball - Another comrade friend, so same with Vietnam.
 * [[File:Laos-icon.png]]   Laosball  - Good friend  and comrade.


 * Philippines-icon.png Philippinesball - June 12 is me and little comrade's special day! Russia day for me and independence for him. I gib him old useless cold war weapons. Also we will can into commie soon. CPP-NDF-NPA CAN INTO FRIENDS WITH CPRF
 * [[File:Uganda-icon.png]] Ugandaball - Good African Friend and We hunt Homosexuals Together
 * [[File:Abkhazia-icon.png]] Abkhaziaball and [[File:South Ossetia-icon.png]] South Ossetiaball - I will Protect you guys from Georgiaball
 * [[File:Venezuela-icon.png]] Venezuelaball - Great South American Friend who recognizes Crimea, Abkhazia and South Ossetia
 * [[File:Bolivia-icon.png]] Boliviaball,[[File:Nicaragua-icon.png]] Nicaraguaball, [[File:Ecuador-icon.png]] Ecuadorball - Anti Imperialists in the Western Hemisphere
 * [[File:Sudan-icon.png]] Sudanball and [[File:Zimbabwe-icon.png]] Zimbabweball - Anti Imperialist African Friends who support me on Crimea
 * [[File:Burundi-icon.png]] Burundiball and [[File:South Sudan-icon.png]] South Sudanball - More Anti Imperialist African Friends and Thank you guys for supporting me on Syria
 * [[File:Mongolia-icon.png]] Mongoliaball - Good Trading Partner and Friend
 * [[File:Myanmar-icon.png]] Myanmarball - [[File:China-icon.png]] Chinaball and I support you on the Rohingyas and He buys a lot of my Weapons
 * [[File:Uzbek-icon.png]] Uzbekistanball and [[File:Kyrgyz-icon.png]] Kyrgyzstanball - Turkic Friends and Good Kebab
 * [[File:Tajik-icon.png]] Tajikistanball - Indo -Aryan Military Ally
 * [[File:Turkmen-icon.png]] Turkmenistanball - While he is not a military ally since he is neutral, the two of us generally get along and he is an oil supplier
 * [[File:Transnistria-icon.png]] Transnistriaball - I will protect you from [[File:Moldova-icon.png]] Moldovaball
 * [[File:Gaddafi Libya-icon.png]] Gaddafiball - Rest in Peace my Good Friend
 * [[File:Algeria-icon.png]] Algeriaball - Best North African Friend, He supports me on Assad and Buys a lot of my weapons.
 * [[File:Thailand-icon.png]] Thailandball - Love Pattaya.
 * [[File:Fiji-icon.png]] Fijiball - Great Pacific Friend (If not one of the only in the region), he hates [[File:USA-icon.png]] USAball, [[File:Australia-icon.png]] Australiaball, and [[File:New Zealand-icon.png]] New Zealandball, he also buys my weapons
 * [[File:Cambodia-icon.png]] Cambodiaball - Good friend of [[File:China-icon.png]] Chinaball and is also really friendly with me, we are doing a lot of economic projects together and thank you for voting against the [[File:Crimea-icon.png]] Crimea Resolutions
 * [[File:Eritrea-icon.png]] Eritreaball - Although he is crazy, he is one of my closest African allies and we get along and I give him economic support, I'll make sure my buddy, [[File:Sudan-icon.png]] Sudanball keeps an eye on you just in case
 * [[File:Iraq-icon.png]] Iraqball -Helped him against ISIS.And he is also a good friend.

Друго-враги/Нейтрален (Frenemies/Neutral)

 * [[File:Poland-icon.png]] Polandball - Silly western pigski who are easy to bully. ХАХАХАХАХА, polen cannot into space! But we both can into vodka and we both like to bully and troll gays and Hochland and also both equally strong hate Krauts. Also remove that rocket defense from yuor clay or nukes will of strike Warsawball!


 * Malaysia-icon.png Malaysiaball - I helped him into space but I've commited a crim to him by shootings down his plane. I'm sorry for shootings down your plane and btw, lets recognize Crimea as part of me.


 * Japan-icon.png Japanball - Worthy opponent. Our book Lolita is number one bestseller there. Now a loyal bondage slave of the German devil. I am never givings Kuril! Plus His flag is literally a surrender flag! XAXAXAXAXAXAXA!
 * Czech-icon.png   Czechiaball  - Yuor beer is execting,do yuo want vodka? But sadly, he can into NATOball


 * Moldova-icon.png Moldovaball - you...did..WHAT?!?!..you are so nuked...


 * Macedonia-icon.png Macedoniaball - Doesn't want him to be with Bulgariaball, Greece and EU, nor Serbiaball, nor Albania.


 * France-icon.png Franceball - You're part of EU, a Homosex lover, and a Catholic, but are prayers are with you of heplings you remove terrorist.
 * USAball - So..., you elected Trump huh? THATS GREAT!!! We can beings friends now. (but I'm still a bit pissed off about Syria).BUT I AM STILL WATCHING YOU BECAUSE OF COLD WAR AND IF YOU HATE ME AGAIN I WILL WAR ON YOU AGAIN!!!
 * Canadaball  - Even though we both claim the North Pole, he is a good diplomatic friend and we both love hockey  rival, never forgetting 1972 ! Honestly I like Canada, he is nice... The only fault of    Canada  Is That he Is The Brother Of That Arrogant... (I'm Talking To You  USA-icon.png   America .)
 * UK-icon.png   UKball  - Sometimes. He's protestant, but we both can into tea and          German   Devils   removing . And also  French . So my question is:  WHY YUO DON'T WANT TO JOIN    MY  RESTORED SOVIET UNION  CLUB
 * North Koreaball - Please shut up about your nukes or I will into removing yuo. I want to hold the World Cup next year, if you declare war or throw one of those bombs at someone, the World Cup will be canceled and everyone will have to go to war, a Third World War. So ... do not do anything now !!!! But we generally get along and He supports me on Crimea. The only reason you still exist is that I do not want the yanks near my eastern border, you're just a puppet to let them away from me.

Ублюдки /Враги ( Bastards /Enemies)

 * Germany-icon.png Germanyball, EU-icon.png The Sissies Club and NATOball - Антихристы. Зло, родители которых - шлюха Вавилона и Сатана. Злейшие враги славянской расы. УБРАТЬ ТЕВТОНСКИХ РЫЦАРЕЙ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ПРУССИЮ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ АНШЛЮС, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ НАЦИЗМ! УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ, ИХ КЕБАБСКИХ СОЮЗНИКОВ И МАЛЕНЬКИХ ЧЕРТЕЙ МАРОККО, АМЕРИКИ И ИЗРАИЛЯ! РУССКАЯ СЛАВЯНСКАЯ ЗИМА И ПРАВОСЛАВИЕ СТРОНГ, СТАЛИНГРАДСКАЯ БИТВА — ЛУЧШИЙ ДЕНЬ В МОЕЙ ЖИЗНИ! АЛЕКСАНДР НЕВСКИЙ ДОЛЖЕН ВЕРНУТЬСЯ, ЧТОБЫ ОТПРАВИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ И КЕБАБОВ ОБРАТНО В АД!! ХВАТИТ ОБИЖАТЬ ВЕЛИКОБРИТАНИЮ! МАТУШКА РОССИЯ СТРОНГ!!! Best drinking buddies ever. Now we have a good relationship. Really, because Putin said so, therefore it's right. If Putin said it, therefore it must be true, i trust him - he's good guy and best president.


 * Ukraine-icon.png Hochlandball - we are family, but... ХАХАХАХАХАХА!!! КРЫМ НАШ!!! Я ЗАБРАЛ У ТЕБЯ КРЫМ И ТЕПЕРЬ ВСЮ ОСТАЛЬНУЮ ГЛИНУ ВОЗЬМУ!!! Но Львов брать не буду. ПОТОМУ ЧТО ЛЬВОВ - ПОЛЬСКАЯ ГЛИНА!!!  АХАХАХАХ ХОХЛЯНДИЯ!!! GIVE INDEPENDENCE TO NOVOROSSIYA!AND LET ME ANCHLUSS THEM! KHARKOV ,KIEV, ODESSA, ALL UKRAINE CLAY IS RIGHTEOUS ROSSIYA CLAY!!!!!!!! Runaway EU Peasant. Traitorous apostates who hate us because Natalia Poklonskaya used her Slavic sexiness to Anschluss free Crimea.AND GET OFF THE FENCE!  And so, all is fine)


 * DickRhino-icon.png Swedenball and Norway-icon.png Norwayball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Protestantism is HERESY made by crazy, vicious Kingdörk Vikings! (still hate their sister)


 * Vatican-icon.png Vaticanball and Italyball - Orthodox Christianity only Christianity! Catholicism is HERESY made by Romans!

 
 * Mongolia-icon.png Mongoliaball - Worst fear. 1237 WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE!!! I SUFFERED BULLYING WHEN I WAS A KID ... HE STUCK MY HEAD IN THE TOILET, STOLE MY LUNCH MONEY AND BEATED ME IN SCHOOL. BUT NOW AM OF STRONKEST THAN YUO. XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA!!! Wait, you say I have Mongols in me? OH SHITSHITSHIT! (Formerly)
 * Finland-icon.png Finlandball - Used to be my clay after I anschluss him from Sweden. He is also my second worst fear. At least he can into vodka. Renegade province. BUT I AM NOT GIVING KARAELIA BACK! (Because you stole my vodka, Cyka Blyat!)


 * ISISball - СЛУШАЙТЕ, ВЫ ПРИШЛИ НЕ ТУДА, СУКА.Since NATO pigskis not doing anything to stop this thing it's up to Mother Russia to save the day.
 * Albania-icon.png Albaniaball - Fool, who picks on my good friendski Serbia-icon.png Serbiaball nd let me don't worry i will anschless you [[File:USA-icon.png]] USAball butt licker KOSOVO IS SERBIA YOU CYKA BLYAT


 * Georgiaball - I defeated yuo easily. So gib Abkhaziaball and  South Ossetiaball their independence! And let me anschluss them!


 * Azerbaijanball - Stop bullying Armeniaball or else I will remove yuo! I do gib him weapons though, but shh...don't tell Armen...


 * Israelcube - This guy thinks I'm his best friend, but no. He is a fake friend because he is a Ally of Evil [[File:USA-icon.png]] USAball and is offended when I support my loyal best friends [[File:Armenia-icon.png]] Armeniaball and [[File:Iran-icon.png]] Iranball. Stop taking me Away from Iran and Armenia because these are my Important Allies, not like yuo which is already an Ally of Evil [[File:USA-icon.png]] USAball. Ok, I like you a little bit, if you don't hurt my friends.


 * Stupid Vodka Removers- American puppet pigs! Always can into independence!


 * Romaniaball - Moldova is of my rightful clay, same with the rest of Bessarabia!


 * [[File:Saudi Arabia-icon.png]] Saudi Arabiaball - Whabbist Freak thinks I'm his friend, he is a fool, [[File:Syria-icon.png]] Syriaball and [[File:Iran-icon.png]] Iranball are my true friends.


 * [[File:Al-Qaeda-icon.png]] Al-Qaedaball - Never Forget the War in Afghanistan, you filthy terrorist


 * [[File:Taliban-icon.png]] Talibanball - Another Filthy Terrorist


 * [[File:Taiwan-icon.png]] Taiwanball - Yuo no of exist


 * [[File:Kosovo-icon.png]] Kosovoball - Never heard of it


 * [[File:FSA-icon.png]] FSAball - Fake Syria and a bunch of terrorists


 * [[File:South Korea-icon.png]] South Koreaball - Banned me from the olympics! You are true capitalist pig! Must Remove! *Boycott activated.*  Resumes Korean War and North Koreaball anchluss South Koreaball 

Family

 * [[File:RussianEmpire-icon.png]] Russian Empireball - Grandfather (Deceased
 * USSRball- Father (Deceased)
 * Yugoslaviaball - Uncle (Deceased)
 * Czechiaball - Cousin
 * Bosniaball - Cousin
 * Serbiaball - Cousin
 * Polandball - brother
 * Slovakiaball - Cousin
 * Belarusball - Best Sister
 * Ukraineball - Sister
 * Bulgariaball - Cousin
 * Macedoniaball - Cousin
 * Croatiaball - Cousin
 * Sloveniaball - Cousin
 * Montenegroball - Cousin
 * Armeniaball - Adoptive Brother
 * Kazakhbrick - Adoptive Brother
 * Uzbekistanball - Adoptive Brother
 * Kyrgyzstanball - Adoptive Brother
 * [[File:Transnistria-icon.png]] Transnistriaball - Son
 * [[File:South Ossetia-icon.png]] South Ossetiaball - Adopted Son
 * [[File:Abkhazia-icon.png]] Abkhaziaball - Adopted Son
 * [[File:Nagorno-Karabakh-icon.png]] Artsakhball - Adopted Son

Republics

 * Adygeaball - Huh? Some caucasian republic, right? I should merge you with Krasnodar.
 * Altaiball - these are the mountains I am talking about! Not some crappy Alps. The mountains are also better then NepalRawr's
 * Bashkortostanball - Go play with your brat Tatarstanball. I know yuo love him.
 * Buryatiaball - Ah, my lovely natural Baikal
 * Chechnyaball - Did you just say you want independence huh? (Chechnyaball tries to stab Russiaball) Oh sh*t, sh*t, sh*t STOP! (Russiaball blocks Chechnyaball in a cage) You are staying with me. I will help you restore Grozny but that's it! Mychechnya!
 * Chechnyaball: Remove kebab removers! Chechnya stronk!
 * Chuvashiaball - My own beer brewery, xaxaxa, let's get waisted, druzya!
 * Crimeaball - It was a democratic referendum and Crimea is Russian, that's it! End of discussion! XAXAXA UKRAINE? MYKRAINE! STUPID WESTERN PIGDOGS CANNOT ACKNOWLEDGE FACTS, IT WAS NOT OF ANNEXATION! TOTALLY NO POLITICS AND SHOWCASE OF POWER! ONLY OPRESSED RUSSIAN MINORITY! SHUT UP! I OF NOT DESERVINGS SANCTIONS! I SANCTION YUO BACK! MUAHAHAHA!
 * Ukraineball: Shut up! Is my rightful clay! No one even recognizes the referendum!
 * Dagestanball - I hope that we will not repeat the Chechnya story with you, right? Aren't you Kareliaball again?
 * Ingushetiaball - Another Caucasian republic. A small place
 * Kabardino-Balkariaball - Ah, the mountains...
 * Kalmykiaball - Calm, buddhist place, love to visit for meditation from my bustling city of Moscow.
 * Karachay-Cherkessiaball - A caucasian that has Molybdenum, whatever that is.
 * Kareliaball - My Finnistan; gorgeous nature. XAXAXAXA FINLAND CANNOT INTO KARELIA. KARELIA IS RIGHTFUL RUSSIAN CLAY, YOU HEAR THAT, FINNISTAN? XAXAXA. Ok sorry about that, Dagestanball
 * Khakassiaball - Siberian republic. Good in ore mining and loves its megaliths.
 * Komiball - Why did you choose such a difficult name for your capital?! Syk-syktyv-syktyvak-syktyvark...Ah screw it! And why do you think that ö is the superior letter? German dots are the most inferior!
 * Mari Elball - Produces all kinds of machines and can work nicely with metals. Every time I say "Yoshkar-Ola" Mario fans get excited, I wonder why...
 * Mordoviaball - Yeah, I need those chemicals to do warings, make more.
 * North Ossetia–Alaniaball - Soon...soon I will unite you with South Ossetia! Georgia, you have nothing against this, right? XAXAXAXA
 * Tatarstanball - My industrial republic! Still a bit grumpy about the Golden Horde.
 * Tuvaball - I know that you like Mongolia, but you are staying here.
 * Udmurtiaball - Oooh! Redheads!
 * Yakutiaball - The largest subnational gov. body ever, even my children are largest in the world, xaxaxa! And my coldest region so far. Canada and Norway are nowhere close to me in the freezing departament, xa! Even cows wear bra there to keep warm.Images-1499669652.jpg

Krais

 * Altaiball - Wait, didn't I mention you already? Ah, that was the republic. Barnauuuul!
 * Kamchatkaball - The best caviar in the world!
 * Khabarovskball - Far East - best East!
 * Krasnodarball - My summer tourism place & Sochi olympics!
 * Krasnoyarskball - Not to be confused with Krasnodar, this is Siberia. Does a lot of refining and hydropower.
 * Permball - Gib more oil please.
 * Primorskyball - End stop of the Trans-Siberian railway and home to the port of Vladivostok. We get our anime shipped through there.
 * Stavropolball - Agriculture is beautiful, isn't it? Sanctions against western pigdog food will only help us! Help the environment - eat locally! (Oh shit, this is going so wrong, sorry Stavropol)
 * Zabaykalskyball - Gib Uranium, I want more warheads!

Oblasts

 * Amurball - Soon I will be launching spaceships from there! Also, keep a close eye on Kitai, oblast.
 * Arkhangelskball - Was my most important port until I kicked the Ottoman ass and got access to the Black Sea.
 * Astrakhanball - Glorious Volga delta and the best soil in the world!
 * Belgorodball - Iron and chernozem!
 * Bryanskball -
 * Chelyabinskball - He loves meteors!
 * Irkutskball - Baikal oblast. Sometimes Irkutsk is called the "Paris of Siberia", weird.
 * Ivanovoball - He sews me vests.
 * Kaliningradball - My cute exclave, stole rightfully took him from Nazi as a compensation for the atrocities. Home to the baltic fleet. Xaxa Polsha and Lithuania cannot into
 * Kalugaball - A European oblast that wasn't destroyed by Nazis, at least I have some nice Grandfather's architecture left.
 * Kemerovoball -
 * Kirovball -
 * Kostromaball -
 * Kurganball -
 * Kurskball - Wow! My compass is going crazy! What kind of magnetic shit is going on, Kursk?
 * Leningradball (Oblast) - The begining of my breathtaking cultutal city!
 * Lipetskball -
 * Magadanball - Я уеду в Магадан!
 * Moscow Oblastball - This is what I call "Podmoskovie". Protect my marvelous city, don't let invaders inside!
 * Murmanskball - Hey, stop chatting with Norway there! Back to work!
 * Nizhny Novgorodball -
 * Novgorodball - Undefeatable great grandfather of Russia.
 * Novosibirskball - Home to the largest Siberian city.
 * Omskball - place of evil!
 * Orenburgball - Unknown, again
 * Oryolball - Хороший парень, но не орёл.
 * Penzaball - xaxaxa, Jesusface.
 * Pskovball - "I'm from Pskov, a stranger, comes to see the speaking dog".
 * Rostovball - Bozhe moi! So many Hochlanders!
 * Ryazanball - Bread 'n' wheat
 * Sakhalinball - An island oblast. Watch carefully the Kuril islands, otherwise Japan will steal them!
 * Samaraball - Are you that U.S territory?
 * Saratovball - Shhh, no one is supposed to know that I have bombs everywhere around you. What do you mean that everyone knows it?!
 * Smolenskball -
 * Sverdlovskball - Murderer of the Royal Romanov Family
 * Tambovball -
 * Tomskball - eww, swampy. Forestoblast
 * Tulaball - Weapon factory. As detailed as jewelry.
 * Tverball - Oh that neverending medieval Tver and Moscow rivalry (Xa, Moscow ultimately won)
 * Tyumenball - Oil and gas controller, Khanty's and Yamal's mother.
 * Ulyanovskball -
 * Vladimirball - Putin? Or Lenin?
 * Volgogradball - Fought the vicious Nazi and this resulted in our Victory!
 * Vologdaball - the best butter on the world!!!
 * Voronezhball -
 * Yaroslavlball - Are you Yugoslaviaball?

Federal Cities

 * Moscowball - The most spectacular capital in the whole world! This is what a real capital city looks like.
 * Saint Petersburgball - My glorious gem! Often called the Northern Capital and the cultural centre of Russia!
 * Sevastopolball - Shh, Hochland, this is my port now, XAXAXA.

Autonomous Okrugs

 * Chukotkaball - Far eastern okrug, I don't contact with him a lot. Better leave him alone to his chukcha business.
 * Nenetsball - Tell other subjects the secret of having a high GDP per capita.
 * Khanty–Mansiball - Oil okrug! But Khanty, you know that you should give away all oilmoney to papa and sister Moscow, no complains!
 * Yamalo-Nenetsball - Gas okrug! Gazprom's playground.

Autonomous Oblast

 * Jewish Autonomous Oblastcube - Oy vey, you say? Some random jew on my clay. Wait a minute...HOMOSEX DETECTED! *Russia precedes to eliminate the homosexual oblast*

Videos
俄罗斯球