|“||Such is life||”|
— Ned Kelly
|“||Yeah nah ya fucken c*nt!||”|
— Druggo outside Centrelink
Australiaball, officially the Commonwealth of
Kangaroos and Emus Australiaball, is not real an upside down island countryball between the Indian and the Southern Pacific Ocean. Because he is surrounded by sea, he has no neighboring countries. However, he is located relatively close to the South of Indonesiaball and Papua New Guineaball, and Northwest of New Zealandball. The country is divided into 6 states and 2 territories, including the capital Canberraball, located in the Australian Capital Territoryball, giving him a total area of 7.692 million square kilometers, making him the 6th largest country in the world, and the largest country in Oceania. As of 2019, he maintains a population of about 25.22 million inhabitants.
Like most former British colonies he is a part of the Anglosphere, and despite not being European, he is also part of the Eurovision. He is also a member of the G20 and the UNball like almost every other country.
Australia is often seen as a very dangerous country due to the fact that many of the wildlife is either poisonous or out of control (See The Great Emu War). However, if you look beside the wildlife, Australia is actually a very peaceful and happy country. He gets along with almost everybody, has very popular tourist destinations, and just like USAball, people from countries like Chinaball, Iraqball, and Indiaball come and live in his clay. He is a very safe and friendly country and a great place to escape to in the outbreak of WW3.
Some people say he may be an emerging power, which isn't the same as a potential superpower.
Australia was born on the 1st of January (though Australia day is on the 26th of January, so his astrological sign is Capricorn.
He created the world's newest language called "Light Warlpiri', which is spoken by members of the Lajamanu tribe.
- 1 History
- 2 Flag Colours
- 3 Relationships
- 4 Territories
Before any kind of contact with European civilization, the island was owned by Australian Aboriginalsball, worshipping Dreamtimeball. They learned to love and to care for the animals and plants that lived there. Sometimes they burnt large patches of dead, dry grass and this freed up land for new plants to grow. It is said that they got here during glaciation time.
Discovery, Exploration, and Colonization
The status quo was defied when Dutch explorers came here and discovered the land. Tasmaniaball, for example, is named after the Dutch explorer Abel Tasman. Since USAball was independent, the UKball decided to settle here a penal colony. Due to the land being unfertile and the high death rate in the desert, prisoners didn't like it. The Australian Aboriginalsball, meanwhile, were being repressed by the settlers. The six colonies ( NSWball, QLDball, SAball, Tasball, Vicball, and WAball) were united into a federation in 1901, as a dominion of the British Empireball. The distance from the motherland created a different culture. Notably, Vegemite and AFL were invented here.
Most of Australiaball's conflicts have been because of colonial alliances, such as WW1, WW2, Korean War, Vietnam War, and the 2 Gulf Wars. But the most hilarious conflict Australiaball has ever been into was the Great Emu War (alone), where, for some kind of reason, he lost to animals.
World War 1
At the declaration of war in 1914, a young independent Australiaball (along with his brothers and sister) was pulled into their father's war. He and New Zealandball were sent to fight the Turks in Gallipoli. What was meant to be an easy victory turned into a bloodbath. The two young countryballs fought in unbearable conditions against a dug-in enemy. They were evacuated in late November 1915. The Gallipoli landings shaped his national identity. Australiaball became a battle-hardened soldier and left many dead brothers behind on the beach.
In 1942, he adopted the Statute of Westminster, making the Commonwealth of Australia formally independent from the British Empireball. The monarch of the British Empireball is still the monarch of Australia (and 15 other realms) today.
On 3 March 1986, the Australia Act 1986 came into effect. Now UKball's government can no longer be involved with Australiaball's government.
In 2010, Australiaball was into female leadership.
In 2017, he legalized same-sex marriage making Gay and Lesbian Kingdomball obsolete.
In 2018, Peter Dutton tried to become prime minister forcing Malcolm Turnbull to resign. However, Scott Morrison beat Dutton in a leadership spill, meaning that Australiaball now has had six different prime ministers since the beginning of 2007.
Later that same year, Australiaball decided to make a space agency. Adelaideball will stage the headquarters.
Near the end of 2019-beginning of 2020, he had some huge fires on his east coast, they are currently the most destructive fires to have occurred since the 2009 Black Saturday fires in Victoriaball
Currently loosening COVID-19 restrictions as he is slowly recovering. (despite his USAball saying he is a failure)
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- New Zealandball - My sister
that has more friends than me and is higher-ranked than me on the happiness index... You are a good Rugby player but you need learn to play some Cricket, mate. Also, cut back on the sheep. Love you, c*nt. Maybe we should have a barbecue some time. Also teach me how I can be nicer to my natives. BUT DONT BLAME ME FOR SHOOTING INNOCENT PEOPLE IN CHRIST CHURCH PLOX! Also FLAG STEALER!!!Jk am still yuor big bro!
- Irelandball - Uncle, a significant proportion of my population consists of him, many were sent here as convicts and in the 20th century, many were fled the troubles and came here.
- Indiaball - Adoptive brother! Very Stronk cricketer. I have also enjoyed to watch that movie Lion.
- Pakistanball - He's also my adoptive brother! Creeps me out. At least he is good at cricket
- Ukraineball - New mate, relations increasing
- Canadaball - My best cousin. EH? I love his Canada Goose! Bring some to me eh?
- Italyball - A significant proportion of my population consists of him. We have sustained a muscolar and friendly relation for long years.
- Kurdistanball - good blokes, gave em' some gun n' shit to fight em' ISIS doggas
- Iraqball - Many of them living in our clay. I am also very friendly with him. But why do you hate Kurdistanball? He is helping you against ISISball.
- Argentinaball - Ha! You can't be in Eurovision, but I can! Rekt! BUT WHY DID YOU DEFEAT ME IN RUGBY?! NO ONE EVER BLOODY DEFEATS ME ON RUGBY!
- All the Oceanian islands except Fijiball
- Polandball - Many living in clay.
We both can into upside down eh m8
- Yugoslaviaball - Great lil bogan, but where did ya go ya bloody wanker?
- South Koreaball - Good Korea, many are in my clay.
- Hong Kongball - Adoptive brother, many are in my clay. EY YUO SO KAWAII!!!!!!!!!! (pats Hong Kong)
- Philippinesball - Here is my little Asian close friend and fellow APEC member, who is interested at my clay and she likes my Christian songs and singers, especially this one. I can help her to get into G20 with the help of USAball, Germanyball, Indonesiaball, Argentinaball, Saudi Arabiaball, Canadaball, Mexicoball and Tringapore. BUT WHY DID YA START A BASKETBALL BRAWL AGAINST ME?!
- Brazilball - He has strange animals too, and unfortunately suffers of burning too, he can now into Christian Music because of Diante do Trono and the Brazilian Darlene (AKA Ana Paula Valadão). I support Jair Bolsonaro too.
- Thailandball - Oh my brother i like your kangaroo i like your geography and I like yuo godmother.
Don't Know what to say bout these mates
- UKball - Dad that is always caring with the rest of the Anglosphere, however he colonized me and that's the only reason I hate him. and also, his dad colonize him so that's why I will kill him soon. (Dad, dad, Put-Put mom on the Phone...)
- Japanball - Sure you are a good ally but STOP KILLING THE WHALES!!!! Also remember 1942. If you are the 'Land of the Rising Sun", who is the "Land of the Falling Sun"... USA? Tons of Japanese restaurants in my clay. Stop infecting my people with Weeaboo culture!!! Also too many of you in my clay. (01/06/2019, NEVER FORGET!)
- Indonesiaball - We are good allies and I saved him from a tsunami but he accusing me of spying and he killed 2 Australians and accused them for drugs, (Btw, Your Bali island is so Great and cool, pity sometimes I cannot visit due to volcanoes), and now he's offering me ASEAN membership.
- Papuaball - My son... no lil' bugger I am not going to annex you - what do you mean I made you a penal colony!? I am just tellin' ya to watch over those c*nts comin' in!
- USAball - Loves my accent and strong ally. He is my 2nd favourite brother as well, but my politicians prefer you to New Zealand. He thinks that he is more resistant than me, but he wears helmets and protections in that stupid sport that he invented (RUGBY IS BETTER THAN AMERICAN
handeggFOOTBALL!). Only babies needs protection HAHAHAHA. Aw, looks like you have some poor blokes in your country. Don't worry, mate, I will take care of them. They are safe with me EXCEPT FOR FUCKING 31-0 GUY, THAT'S FOR SURE!!!! (Let's go hunting some time). Also I don't like the fact that you forced me to go in the fucking Vietnam War and Iraq War and Syrian War as well as him stopping me from ever having a successful movie business as he steals our actors/actresses. And why do you hate Iraqball? He is helping you against ISISball. OH SO IM A FAILURE AY?! WELL I DON'T SEE YOU RECOVERING BEFORE ME! (DOMINATED YE BUCKET HEAD!)
- Portugalball - People think you discovered me. Ya're also the best friend of my dad. Overall not a bad bloke. But remove commies, they're bad
- Russiaball - Putin likes koalas, but my government doesn't like you. The World Cup was cool ... I may have been eliminated but I will continue to follow, I am curious to know who will be the champion. (I HAVE SNIPED WORLD'S FATEST MAN!)
- Chinaball - Too many of you on my land, though your government exports lots of stuff to me and you are working well on diplomacy with Kim Jong Un. Wait... if you are the "Central Kingdom", I am the "Southern Kingdom"? And who is the "Eastern Kingdom" and the "Northern Kingdom", Japan and Russia? HOW DARE YOU THROW ROCKS AT A KANGAROO IN YOUR ZOO JUST BECAUSE IT WASN'T JUMPING ENOUGH? YOU KILLED IT!!, also Stop banning the ABC website in your country. AND WHAT IN THE KANGAROO FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO CANADA, HONG KONG AND POLAND MATE!!! PISSS OFF HUAWEI CELLPHONE! WE GOT SAMSUNG MATE!!! PLUS TELL YOUR WUHAN WEEABOO CIVILIANS TO FUCK OFF FROM MY HOMELAND! WE DON'T WANT YOUR CORONA-VIRUS IN MY COUNTRY!!! PLEASE YOU ALREADY INFECTED FRANCE, AMERICA, VIETNAM, KOREA, JAPAN..... OH SHIT. PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOUR INFECTED! ALSO, YOU IMPACTED A FASCIST LAW ON MA BRO, MATE!!!!!
- Australian Aboriginalsball - just stop complaining about our anthem, please. I am sorry that you were mistreated!
- United Arab Emiratesball - I export oil to him, and our relations are increasing. however, AUSTRALIA DAY 2019 NEVER FORGET! I failed to defend my Asian Cup title because of you...
- EUball - Can Aussie into EU?
- COVID-19 - GET OUT OF HERE!!! YOU ARE SCUM VIRUS!!! I WILL REMOVE YOU TO THE GROUND!!! GET OUT OF MY LANDS!!! AAAAAAAAAAA, REMOVE CORONALAND!!!
- Fijiball - Got angry at me just for not supporting a millitary coup that overthrew the former goverment.
- Emus - REMOVE!!! They humiliate me. Dangerous creature! Kill! KILL!!!!!!! 1932 NEVER FORGET WORST YEAR EVER, FUCK YOU AND FUCK CASSOARY, AND FUCK MAGPIE AND FUCK ANY BAD BIRD
- 🐇 Rabbits - You piss-ants can go bugger off as well. We built a fence to keep you little buggars out until you allied yourselves with the Demon Birds of Hell.
- American Samoaball - HA! I destroyed him in Soccer, 31-0! Just when I thought the 22-0 win over Tonga was the best day of my life, this guy shows up! FUCK YOU AMERICAN SAMOA!!!!!!!
- North Koreaball - Hates me because I'm a friend & brother of America and a friend of South Korea. Also threatened me with a nuclear strike. REMOVE KIM FAMILY!!!!!!
- Soviet Unionball - Hated me cuz I am a friend of USA. Used to threaten my big cities with nukes during the Cold War! REMOVE STALIN AND GULAG!!! Oh wait, he's dead. Well, good riddance, c*nt!
- Ottoman Empireball - Fought with him in World War 1 for my Dad. You committed genocide on the Armenians. Remove Ottoman!
- PETA - WHY DID YOU INSULT STEVE IRWIN?!!! REMOVE PETA!!! FUCK YE TOO
- East Timorball - Ya're a fuckin' commie n' deserve to be invaded.
- Hondurasball - Mate, I don't think we ever met before, but I will seriously defeat ya in soccer! World Cup, here I come!
- Iranball - CRAZY INSANE KEBAB!!
- Venezuelaball - He hates me for being friend with USAball
- Myanmarball - Murderous Bastard, stop giving me refugees
- ISISball Stupid lil c*nt he can go suck an emus d*ck!
- Peruball - YOU ELIMINATED ME FROM THE WORLD CUP!!! I WAS GOING SO WELL!! GIVE NEW ZEALAND A CHANCE TOO!
You also might've costed me my best player...
- Sierra Leoneball - Hates me because I'm not giving aids to treat Ebola. (Aids ia bad, remember)
- Austriaball - NAME STEALER!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE MY UNCLE!!
- Norwayball - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE A HIGHER HDI THAN ME MATE! I'M IN STUPID SECOND PLACE THANKS TO YOU, YOU STUPID C*NT! I'M GOING TO TOP THAT LADDER ONE DAY! JUST YOU WAIT! But our siblings like each other.
- Brenton Harrison Tarrant : FUCK YOU FOR HURTING NEW ZEALAND ISLAMIC MOSQUE. YOU ARE THE WORST AUSTRALIAN CITIZEN EVER! WHITE NATIONALIST 100% NOT ALLOWED IN AUSTRALIA NOR NEW ZEALAND! FUCK YOU! ROT IN HELL YOU SATANIST!
- 2019/2020 - Hell Mate fire at Australia and flood!!!!!!!!! Poor animals and my river That is so c*nt thaksto you!!! 2020
- Stingrays: F.U.C.K you, you killed steve iriwn!
The Commonwealth of Australia is a federation of six States:
- NSWball - Home to the biggest city in Australia and Oceania, Sydney, Yet rivals with over who should have the Capital city. He is also the most cultured and populated state.
- Victoriaball - Rednecks and the most livable city in the World, Melbourne. He is a bit of a hipster and has a lot of street art too.
- Queenslandball - The only state in Australia with real Theme Parks (Movie World, Dream World, Sea World, Etc) He is also one of the hotter States especially, in the north. He has beautiful corals.
- Western Australiaball - Has the most minerals
which I steal away from them, And their major city Perth is one of the most isolated areas in the world. WA is also the biggest state out of all of them (bigger than Alaska and Texas put together and is comparable to Kazakhstan's alone.)
- South Australiaball - Is mostly desert in the north, yet has the fifth biggest city (Adelaide) He makes good wine, despite his name, he is not the southernmost state.
(Is Also the Adopted Son Of Germany)
- Tasmaniaball - The only state that is not on the mainland and formerly had the Tasmanian Tiger. he is Friends With Denmarkball and also had a mining collapse once. (Capital: Hobart)
- ACTball - He became the real Capital of Australia, after NSW and Victoria had an argument for who should have the Capital city (though it is located closer to Sydney than Melbourne). He is also the only landlocked state or territory in Australia (after the exclave at Jervis Bay Territory became its own territory in 1989).
- Northern Territoryball (Australia) - The birthplace of the aboriginals 40,000 years ago. (Capital: Darwin)
- Jervis Bay Territoryball - Created when the ACTball achieved self-government in 1989, is the smallest Territory.
- Ashmore and Cartier Islandsball - He has the name of a generic cop couple. Also no-one permanently lives there
- Australian Antarcticaball - it's so cooold there.
- Christmas Islandball - Ho Ho Ho, he makes a good couple with Rio Grande do Norteball.
- Cocos (Keeling) Islandsball - You know (they have a lot of cocos), also only Muslim majority territory.
- Heard Island and McDonald Islandsball - same case of Ashmore and Cartier Islandsball. Also USAball, there are no Maccas (Aussie slang for McDonald's) there.
- Norfolk Islandball - Norfolkball in an island.