|“||All your heads look bloody twelve feet tall!||”|
— Sniper, Team Fortress 2
|“||Yeah nah ya fucken c*nt!||”|
— Druggo outside Centrelink
a.k.a. Strayaball, officially the Commonwealth of Australiaball, is not real an island country between the Indian and the South Pacific Ocean. Because he is girt by sea, he has no neighboring countries. However, he is located relatively close to the South of Indonesiaball and Papua New Guineaball, and Northwest of New Zealandball. The country is divided into 6 states and 2 territories, including the capital Canberraball, located in the Australian Capital Territoryball, giving him a total area of 2.97 million square miles, making him the 6th largest country in the world, and the largest country in Oceania. As of 2019, he maintains a population of about 25.22 million inhabitants.
Like most former British colonies he is a part of the Anglosphere, and despite not being European, he is also part of the Eurovision. He is also a member of the G20 and the UNball like almost every other country.
Australia is often seen as a very dangerous country due to the fact that many of the wildlife is either poisonous or out of control (See The Great Emu War). However, if you look beside the wildlife, Australia is actually a very peaceful and happy country. He gets along with almost everybody, has very popular tourist destinations, and just like USAball, people from countries like Chinaball, Iraqball, and Indiaball come and live in his clay. He is a very safe and friendly country, and a great place to escape to in the outbreak of WW3.
Australia was born on the 1st of January (though Australia day is on 26th of January, so his astrological sign is Capricorn.
Before any kind of contact with European civilization, the island was owned by Australian Aboriginalsball, worshippping Dreamtimeball. They learned to love and to care for the animals and plants that lived there. Sometimes they burnt large patches of dead, dry grass and this freed up land for new plants to grow. It is said that they got here during glaciation time.
Discovery, Exploration and Colonization
Since USAball was independent, the UKball decided to settle here a penal colony. Due to the land being unfertile and the highly death rate in the desert, prisoners didn't liked it. The Australian Aboriginalsball, meanwhile, were being repressed by the settlers.
The six colonies ( NSWball, QLDball, SAball, Tasball, Vicball, and WAball) were united into a federation in 1901, as a dominion of the British Empireball. The distance from the motherland created a different culture. Notably, Vegemite and AFL were invented here.
Most of Australiaball's conflicts have been because of colonial alliances, such as WW1, WW2, Korean War, Vietnam War and the 2 Gulf Wars. But the most hilarious conflict Australiaball has ever been into was the Great Emu War (alone), where, for some kind of reason, he lost to animals.
World War 1
At the declaration of war in 1914, a young independent Australiaball (along with his brothers) was pulled into their father's war. He and New Zealandball were sent to fight the Turks in Gallipoli. What was meant to be an easy victory turned into a bloodbath. The two young countryballs fought in unbearable conditions against a dug-in enemy. They were evacuated in late November 1915. The Gallipoli landings shaped his national identity. Australiaball became a battle hardened soldier and left many dead brothers behind on the beach.
In 1942, he adopted the Statute of Westminster, making the Commonwealth of Australia formally independent from the British Empireball. The monarch of the British Empireball is still the monarch of Australia (and 15 other realms) today.
On 3 March 1986, the Australia Act 1986 came into effect. Now UKball's government can no longer be involved with Australiaball's government.
In 2010, Australiaball was into female leadership.
In 2017, he legalised same sex marriage making Gay and Lesbian Kingdomball obsolete.
In 2018, Peter Dutton tried to become prime minister forcing Malcolm Turnbull to resign. However Scott Morrison beat Dutton in a leadership spill, meaning that Australiaball now has had six different prime ministers since the beginning of 2007.
Later that same year, Australiaball decided to make a space agency. Adelaideball will stage the headquarters.
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- New Zealandball - Brother
that has more friends than me and is higher-ranked than me on the happiness index... You are a good Rugby player but you need learn to play some Cricket, mate. Love you, c*nt. Maybe we should have a barbecue some time. Also teach me how I can be nicer to my natives.BUT DONT BLAME ME FOR SHOOTING INNOCENT PEOPLE IN CHRISTCHURCH PLOX!
- Irelandball - Uncle, a significant proportion of my population consists of him, many were sent here as convicts and in the 20th century, many were fled the troubles and came here.
- Indiaball - Adoptive brother! Very Stronk cricketer. I have also enjoyed to watch that movie Lion.
- Pakistanball - He's also my adoptive brother! Creeps me out. At least he is good at cricket
- Ukraineball - New mate, relations increasing
- Canadaball - My best cousin. EH? I love his Canada Goose! Bring some to me eh?
- Kurdistanball - good blokes, gave em' some gun n' shit to fight em' ISIS doggas
- Iraqball - Many of them living in our clay. I am also very friendly with him. But why do you hate Kurdistanball? He is helping you against ISISball.
- Argentinaball - Ha! You can't be in Eurovision, but I can! Rekt! BUT WHY DID YOU DEFEAT ME IN RUGBY?!
- All the Oceanian islands except Fijiball
- Polandball - Many living in clay.
- Yugoslaviaball - Great lil bogan, but where did ya go ya bloody wanker?
- South Koreaball - The good Korea, many are in my clay
- Hong Kongball - Adoptive brother, many are in my clay.
- Philippinesball - Here is my little Asian nephew from Spainball and fellow APEC member, who is interested at my clay and he likes my Christian songs and singers, especially this one. I can help him to get into G20 with the help of USAball, Germanyball, Indonesiaball, Argentinaball, Saudi Arabiaball, Canadaball, Mexicoball and Tringapore. Too many Pinoys living in my clay. EY AND WHY DID YA START A BASKETBALL BRAWL AGAINST ME?!
- Brazilball - He has strange animals too, he can now into Christian Music because of Diante do Trono and the Brazilian Darlene (AKA Ana Paula Valadão). I support Jair Bolsonaro too.
- Thailandball Oh my brother i like your kangaroo i like your geography and i like you godmother
Don't Know what to say bout these mates
- Japanball - Sure you are a good ally but STOP KILLING THE WHALES!!!! Also remember 1942. If you are the 'Land of the Rising Sun", who is the "Land of the Falling Sun"... USA? Tons of Japanese restaurants in my clay. Stop infecting my people with Weeaboo culture!!! Also too many of you in my clay.
- Indonesiaball - We are good allies and I saved him from a tsunami but he accusing me of spying and he killed 2 Australians and accused them for drugs, (Btw, Your Bali island is so Great and cool, pity sometimes I cannot visit due to volcanoes), and now he's offering me ASEAN membership.
- Papuaball - My son... no lil' bugger I am not going to annex you - what do you mean I made you a penal colony!? I am just tellin' ya to watch over those c*nts comin' in!
- USAball - Loves my accent and strong ally. He is my 2nd favourite brother as well, but my politicians prefer you to New Zealand. He thinks that he is more resistant than me, but he wears helmets and protections in that stupid sport that he invented (RUGBY IS BETTER THAN AMERICAN
handeggFOOTBALL!). Only babies needs protection HAHAHAHA. Aw, looks like you have some poor blokes in your country. Don't worry, mate, I will take care of them. They are safe with me EXCEPT FOR FUCKING 31-0 GUY, THAT'S FOR SURE!!!! (Let's go hunting some time). Also I don't like the fact that you forced me to go in the fucking Vietnam War and Iraq War and Syrian War as well as him stopping me from ever having a successful movie business as he steals our actors/actresses. And why do you hate Iraqball? He is helping you against ISISball.
- Portugalball - People think you discovered me. Ya're also the best friend of my dad. Overall not a bad bloke. But remove commies, they're bad
- Russiaball - Putin likes koalas, but my government doesn't like you. The World Cup was cool ... I may have been eliminated but I will continue to follow, I am curious to know who will be the champion.
- Chinaball - Too many of you on my land, though your government exports lots of stuff to me and you are working well on diplomacy with Kim Jong Un. Wait... if you are the "Central Kingdom", I am the "Southern Kingdom"? And who is the "Eastern Kingdom" and the "Northern Kingdom", Japan and Russia? HOW DARE YOU THROW ROCKS AT A KANGAROO IN YOUR ZOO JUST BECAUSE IT WASN'T JUMPING ENOUGH? YOU KILLED IT!!, also Stop banning the ABC website in your country. AND WHAT IN THE KANGAROO FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO CANADA AND POLAND MATE!!! PISSS OFF HUAWEI CELLPHONE! WE GOT SAMSUNG MATE!!!
- Australian Aboriginalsball - just stop complaining about our anthem please. I am sorry that you were mistreated!
- United Arab Emiratesball - I export oil to him, and our relations are increasing. however, AUSTRALIA DAY 2019 NEVER FORGET! I failed to defend my Asian Cup title because of you...
- UKball - Dad that is always caring with the rest of the Anglosphere, however he colonized me and that's the only reason I hate him. and also, his dad colonize him so that's why i will kill him soon.
- Fijiball - Got angry at me just for not supporting a millitary coup that overthrew the former goverment.
- Emus - REMOVE!!! They humiliate me. Dangerous creature! Kill! KILL!!!!!!! 1932 NEVER FORGET WORST YEAR EVER, FUCK YOU
- 🐇 Rabbits - You piss-ants can go bugger off as well. We built a fence to keep you little buggars out until you allied yourselves with the Demon Birds of Hell.
- American Samoaball - HA! I destroyed him in Soccer, 31-0! Just when I thought the 22-0 win over Tonga was the best day of my life, this guy shows up! FUCK YOU AMERICAN SAMOA!!!!!!!
- North Koreaball - Hates me because I'm a friend & brother of America and a friend of South Korea. Also threatened me with a nuclear strike. REMOVE KIM FAMILY!!!!!!
- Soviet Unionball - Hated me cuz I am a friend of USA. Used to threaten my big cities with nukes during the Cold War! REMOVE STALIN AND GULAG!!! Oh wait, he did.
- PETA - WHY DID YOU INSULT STEVE IRWIN?!!! REMOVE PETA!!!
- East Timorball - Ya're a fuckin' commie n' deserve to be invaded.
- Hondurasball - Mate, I don't think we ever met before, but I will seriously defeat ya in soccer! World Cup, here I come!
- Myanmarball - Murderous Bastard, stop giving me refugees
- ISISball Stupid lil c*nt he can go suck an emus d*ck!
- Peruball - YOU ELIMINATED ME FROM THE WORLD CUP!!! I WAS GOING SO WELL!! GIVE NEW ZEALAND A CHANCE TOO!
You also might've costed me my best player...
- Sierra Leoneball - Hates me because I'm not giving aids to treat Ebola.
- Norwayball - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE A HIGHER HDI THAN ME MATE! I'M IN STUPID SECOND PLACE THANKS TO YOU, YOU STUPID C*NT! I'M GOING TO TOP THAT LADDER ONE DAY! JUST YOU WAIT! But our brothers like each other.
- Switzerlandball - He knocked me off 2nd place in the HDI rankings.
I do not care if you are neutral.
- 🔥🔥Bush/Wildfires🔥🔥 - I AM ON FIRE IT HURTS SO MUCH WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO ME PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT THE PAIN ITS UNBEARABLE!!!!!!!
- Brenton Harrison Tarrant : FUCK YOU FOR HURTING NEW ZEALAND ISLAMIC MOSQUE. YOU ARE THE WORST AUSTRALIAN CITIZEN EVER! WHITE NATIONALIST 100% NOT ALLOWED IN AUSTRALIA NOR NEW ZEALAND! FUCK YOU! ROT IN HELL YOU SATANIST!
The Commonwealth of Australia is a federation of six States:
- NSWball - Home to the biggest city in Australia and Oceania, Sydney, Yet rivals with over who should have the Capital city. He is also the most cultured and populated state.
- Victoriaball - Rednecks and the most livable city in the World, Melbourne. He is a bit of a hipster and has a lot of street art too.
- Queenslandball - The only state in Australia with real Theme Parks (Dream World, Sea World, Etc) He is also one of the hotter States especially, in the north. He has beautiful corals.
- Western Australiaball - Has the most minerals
which I steal away from them, And their major city Perth is one of the most isolated areas in the world. WA is also the biggest state out of all of them (bigger than Alaska and Texas put together and is comparable to Kazakhstan's alone.)
- South Australiaball - Is mostly desert in the north, yet has the fifth biggest city (Adelaide) He makes good wine, despite his name, he is not the southernmost state.
(Is Also the Adopted Son Of Germany)
- Tasmaniaball - The only state that is not on the mainland and formerly had the Tasmanian Tiger. he is Friends With Denmarkball and also had a mining collapse once. (Capital: Hobart)
- ACTball - He became the real Capital of Australia, after NSW and Victoria had an argument for who should have the Capital city (though it is located closer to Sydney than Melbourne). He is also the only landlocked state or territory in Australia (after the exclave at Jervis Bay Territory became its own territory in 1989).
- Northern Territoryball (Australia) - The birthplace of the aboriginals 40,000 years ago. (Capital: Darwin)
- Jervis Bay Territoryball - Created when the ACTball achieved self-government in 1989, is the smallest Territory.
- Ashmore and Cartier Islandsball - he have a name of generics cop couples. Also no-one permanently lives there
- Australian Antarcticaball - it's so cooold there.
- Christmas Islandball - Ho Ho Ho, he makes a good couple with Rio Grande do Norteball.
- Cocos (Keeling) Islandsball - You know (they have a lot of cocos), also only Muslim majority territory.
- Heard Island and McDonald Islandsball - same case of Ashmore and Cartier Islandsball. Also USAball, there are no Maccas (Aussie slang for McDonald's) there.
- Norfolk Islandball - Norfolkball in an island.