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| “ | For having a pretty massive population and a ton resources, California isn't doing much here. We're kind of an embarrassment to the US. Oh, but thats our speciality. | ” |
— Drew Durnil
|
| “ | I'm the Golden State! | ” |
—
 Californiaball |
Californiaball is a stateball located on the west coast of 
USAball. Californiaball can create some of the best movies in the world. Is finding himself "a tiny bit" flooded. After "Drumpf's" (California's way of calling Trump) surprising win, despite California picking Hillary (or in some cases, Bernie) to win, a small radical part of California wants independence, and so does 
Cascadiaball and 
New Englandball, because he doesn't want a conservative right-wing president, like "Drumpf". But if he were an independent nation, he would be among the G20, and have economies only smaller than his father, 
Chinaball, 
Japanball, and 
Germanyball. He passed 
UKball in May 2018, and he'd be just ahead of 
Franceball (hon hon hon), 
Indiaball, 
Italyball, and 
Brazilball (hue hue hue!).
History
The clay of Californiaball was once populated, and born by 
3balls (Native Americans), but then 
Spainball had un hijo, Californiaball. Californiaball was then kidnapped by 
Mexicoball, but one day he broke off in a fight with Mexicoball and got his own independencia with the help of USAball. Then it joined USAball, but it took a long war with Mexicoball before he agreed. He thought his brother Texasball's star flag was pretty cool, so Californiaball put a star on his flag to reference it. In 1849, gold was discovered on his clay, and other stateballs have been jealous of him ever since. 3balls were quickly driven away as other balls from all around scrambled for pretty yellow rocks. Throughout his history has been plagued with earthquakes, his clay is divided by San Andreas fault and smaller faults. This has been into destroying his 
cityballs all throughout history. He is home to many different races, mostly Mexicoballs and any Chinaballs, and likes to boast that practically every countryball has immigrants here. Used to pretty much just be full of cowboys and missionaries for a long time, until immigrants from Germanyball infected him with the hippies. Ever since then, he has been into a quiet civil war between old cowboys and new hippies for control of state. For reasons mentioned above, he has a bit of a split-personality. As well, his northern and southern halves are basically hatings of each other, and his central valley area (that is still full of cowboys) is about as conservative and independence-wanting as 
Texasball. He may one day split into as many as six smaller stateballs, just like Texasball can into being five stateballs (Maybe when I into independence). Making matters worse is the fact that his habit of making golf courses and growing crops in the desert finally caught up with him, causing a severe water-shortage during an ongoing drought. Yet he is too stubborn to change his ways. ("Hey man, it's either that or avocadoes can't be grown here.") In 2016, with 
Massachusettsball and 
Nevadaball, he finally can into weed. California has really high taxes, for income over $1,000,000 it's 13.3%, and the state sales tax of 7.25% is the nation's highest. And in 2016, in addition to voting for Hillary by 62%, California also voted to raise the income tax to the level by the same percentage. Californiaball can into very Democratic, and he is very proud of that.
Relations
USA's family tree. The black lines represent biological relationships and the red adoptive relationships.
Mexico's family tree. The black lines represent biological relationships and the red adoptive relationships.
USAball - Mi nuevo padre. He is making so many stupid decisions while I do my best to shield my people from them. Not sure if I should declare independence or help him get over his problem. I guess I'll stay with him for another year *quietly sobs*
- Mexicoball - My biological father and former independence war enemy. I quite feel bad for you since an Idiot is trying to keep you away. He dosen´t know the damage he have done. Also I want baja and me to be independent. *sighs*
- Nevadaball - Mi hermano favorito. I'm keeping gambling illegal on myself, so that people have a reason to visit him.
- Delawareball - YAYYY WE WON!!!! FUCK YOU TRUMP
- Oregonball - Foster brother. He has lots of rain. Share with me pls!! I'm hella thirsty. Oh wait, never mind. I'm getting more rain now.
- Washingtonball - Friendly tech rivals. Has lots of rain too. Fellow Liberal just like me.
- Arizonaball - Younger Brother. My very hot and dry desert. Come if you want the sea. Pretty conservative hombre, But NOT ANYMORE. I successfully turned him into a progressive liberal, like how he should've always been... The Downfall Of The Evil Orange Man Drumpf Is Coming! Drumpf gonna go to JAIL!
- Texasball - Other brother (always in fight). Mucho conservative redneck. He bullies me for being so liberal. Can go into many arguments, and at end of day we are frienemies. We will fight together against USAball for opposite reasons. I love you even though we fight. I can into Christian networks because of TBN. ALSO ENJOY BEING TURNED INTO A LIBERAL STATE :) Arizona was first, you're next!
- New Mexicoball - Older brother with poor economy and ignorant. If u keep with Breaking bad and not La jauria, ill cancel you.
- Coloradoball - He has mountains (my Mount Whitney is still 65 feet higher than his Mount Elbert hehehe), is a moderate between me and Texas. He constantly complains when I come to his place, bring my ultra-liberal politics there and drive up his house prices. However, we both can into stoned though. But is home to South Park, which I hate because it makes fun of liberals all the time
- Floridaball - Jealous older sibling that wants to have better theme parks and beaches than me. My Disney park is still better. Unlike me, always experiencing droughts, he is experiencing the opposite instead. Also friends with TEXAS AND OTHER SOUTHERN REDNECKS! HATE YOU SO MUCH!
- Vermontball - YOU ARE SO GOOD, BERNIE SANDERS SHOULD BE PRESIDENT!!!! (sorry Drumpf and Hillary)
- New Yorkball - YOU ARE MY WORSTEST BROTHER AND WORST STATE IN THE WHOLE UNION!! I HOPE MASSACHUSETTS BEATS YOU IN BASEBALL. YOU ARE THE REASON WHY TRUMP IS STILL PRESIDENT!!!!!!!! WHYYYYY!!!!! I HOPE JOE BIDEN BEATS THAT IDIOTIC PRESIDENT THAT YOU GAVE BIRTH TO !!!!!!! F**K YOU! AND I SURPASSED YOU WITH CASES! OH F**K! Also, Im canceling you in twitter
- OhioRawr - WARRIORS ARE THE BEST!! REMOVE CAVS!! CANCEL THEM!
- Baja Californiaball and Baja California Surball - Mis otros hermanos, stayed with Mexico when I left. (One day, mis hermanos, one day....)
- "Canadaball" - Weird uncle that supposedly "exists" or something? I don't know. I have more money and population anyway.
- UKball - New Grandfather plox tell Texas to shut up at Christmas was pardre like this?
outdated monarchy, CANCEL IT
- Hawaiiball - Pacific brother surround by water. Many Hawaiiballs live in me. Dammit, I'm so jealous of you!! Everyone goes to my cities and then go straight to you! Are you asking me to anschluss you?!? but I can't because you're too adorable and kind!! GAAAHHH!!!
- Philippinesball - Technically, we are brothers because USAball is our father. He is good friends with Hawaiiball so we are good friends too! Many Filipinos visit my clay (in fact, more than 1 million!)
- Spainball - Old Grandmother. Stop hurting Cataloniaball! Or ill cancel you
- Cataloniaball (Spain) - Great uncle. He fought a lot harder than I did for independence. I feel sorry for how Spain treated his independence push *Jeffersonball (proposed state) - wants me to gib independence to rednecks.
- Australiaball - Uncle that has a lot in common with Texasball. They wear silly hats, have funny accents, have very big egos, etc. He gave awful birthday present of eucalyptus tree infestation, and no koalas to keep their numbers down.
- Ecuadorball - cousin *New Californiaball - Son that wants to secede to become the 51st state! Californiaball will never fall!
- All other 3balls - Aunts and uncles. Plz accept the reservations I have ceded for yuo.
- Donald Drump - THE MOST RIDICULOUS MAN ON EARTH Ima cancel you on twitter! ORANGE MAN BAD!!!!!
- South Vietnamball - A lot of his people came to me in order to escape from commie.
- Vietnamball - Used to be a fucking shithole, but he is now friends with papa.
- North Vietnamball - FUCK YUO!!!! YUO WERE THE REASON WHY I HAVE SO MANY VIETNAMESE PEOPLE IN MY CLAY!!!! But you became friendly after Vietnamese reunification.
- Lower Saxonyball - My German version, we sure do look alike.
- Hamburgball - Los Angeles' German version, They have studios and ports.
- Bremenball - German version of the city of San Francisco.
- WILDFIRES: HOLY SHIT!! I cant cancel you on twitter
- People who make Gender reveal parties - YOU FUCKING CAUSED WILDFIRES IN MY CLAY AND YOU FUCKING MAKE IT WORSE THAN ITS ALREADY IS, REMOVE GENDER REVEAL PARTIES FROM THE PREMISE REEEEEE!
- COVID-19 -SCREW YOU!!! YOU MADE MY CLAY MESSED UP LIKE THE WILDFIRES!!! BURN IN THE WILDFIRES VIRUS!!!
Major Cityballs
- Sacramentoball - Capitalball. Only relevant because of this. Currently being colonized by housing price refugees from The Bay Area
- San Franciscoball - Expensive, liberal cityball infested with hippies. Also known as the cityball that rest of state hates. Likes homosex. Into gentrification and exporter of gentrification.
- Oaklandball - San Franciscoball's twin brother. Home of the worst sports teams, including the Raiders... oh wait. Starting to take up on his brother's gentrification.
- Los Angelesball - My largest and celeb cityball, home of Hollywood. Makes most of my movies and thinks he's (like) so special.
- Riversideball - Los Angelesball's suburban mountain area.
- San Bernardino Countyball - Los Angelesball's mountain area. Outsiders see him as more notable for his size than the city he's named after.
- Orange Countyball - Los Angelesball's suburban conservative son; has daddy issues.
- Anaheimball- Annoying conservative nephew who hates me because I won't open his Disneyland.
- Irvineball- the bane of Los Angeles and full of Asians.
- Long Beachball - Grande suburb of Los Angeles. Almost the same population as Sacramento.
- San Diegoball - First of Spainball's settlements, has lots of beaches and keeps lots of pet animals. Acts very Mexican. Outside of LAball's imperialist reach.
- Montereyball - One of my oldest sons. Has an aquarium, so that's cool. What's this about being a colony of Argentina I hear?
- San Joseball - First and oldest cityball, home of Silicon Valley. Innovative tech nerd who makes everyone buy the latest version of anything
Chinaballhe makes.- Cupertinoball - San Joseball's son. Also home to Apple.
- Stocktonball - Lives outside of San Joseball's valley, but risks becoming suburbed by SJ
Wdue to housing costs and gentrification.
- Fresnoball - Smoggy Central Valley city. I am building the first part of my high speed train in and around his clay. Has Yosemite nearby and a lot of agriculture, so how are you so smoggy? We're trying to be eco-friendly here!
- Bakersfieldball - My right armpit (if Fresnoball is my left). He doesn't share my politics.
Gallery
.png "Dumbest States (no city names).png (806 KB)")
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Videos
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