|“||Strč prst skrz krk||”|
|“||Trochu piva si rád dám!||”|
|“||I PLAY POKÉMON GO EVERYDAY||”|
— Misha/Mishovy Silenosti (Pokemon GO kid)
|“||Jožin z Bažin||”|
— Ivan Mládek
Czechiaball, officially the
very good beer Czech Republicball or Bohemiaball plays Pokémon GO everyday and loves minecraft is a countryball located in Central Europe. His clay is landlocked, bordered by Polandball to the North, Austriaball to the South, Slovakiaball to the East, and Germanyball to the West. The countryball is divided into 13 regionballs, with his capital Pragueball located in the Western half of the countryball, giving him a total area of about 30,450 square miles, making him the 113th largest countryball in the world. As of 2018, he maintains a population of about 10.62 million inhabitants and is the European countryball that has the saddest anthem.
Like most other former communist stateballs, after the Soviet Union collapsed, Czechiaball decided to join EUball and NATOball to gain protection from Russiaball. Czechiaball is also a member in the Visegrád Groupball, being in Central Europe, as well as the UNball like almost every other countryball.
Czechiaball is often seen as the most stable and prosperous of all the post-communist stateballs of Europe. While he has had a rough history, being part of several different kingdomballs, duchyballs, empireballs, and unionballs, he was still able to keep his sense of nationalistic central European Slavic identity, making him one of the more peaceful Slavs of Europe.
He also loves listening to Bohemian Rhapsody.
His national day is January 1.
We are told that this ball started as a Samoball. Samoball formed a union for the market only and haven't even dreamed about being a kingdomball. When Czechball realized that Samo Empireball isn't enough he turned to Great Moraviaball, he decided to have dukes and be as powerful as hell. But inside that Great Moraviaball was a smaller Bohemiaball, Moraviaball, and Nitraball (on Slovakiaball). After some years, this kingdomball included Hungaryball, Holy Roman Empireball, and Polandball. When he became bored of this, he started a war with Vaticanball, took farmers, women, and children and kicked asses during the four crusades. After that, Czechiaball became calmer and took a nap; during this nap, someone moved him in with Jagiellonianball, he wasn't even bothered, Slav master is a friend. After that, he became very lazy and when Jagellonianball decided to give itself to Habsburgball, Czechiaball hasn't even moved a finger. Since then he had waited to someone beat Habsburgball and finally in 1918, he turned into Czechoslovakiaball, enjoyed this for a few years until the Naziball said: "You ist mein now" and Allies were like: "Is good, no war", but Naziball was also like: "No, you are nich of being Tscheckienslovakien, now du bist of Böhmen und Mähren!" Czechoslovakiaball was all like: "Ok ok just no violance". And then there was the war... Few years after USSRball decided to make Czechoslovakiaball socialist. He was grateful to USSRball (for letting him in space and helping him build two nuclear power plants), but he wasn't that friend which he claims to be and after Czechoslovakiaball tried to go his own way, USSRball slaved him for 40 years. In 1989 he's got pissed and got rid of USSRball, Four years after that, Slovakiaball decided to leave him. Since then, Czech Republicball was bored and felt alone so one day he decides to visit EUball and his friends and eventually he decide to stay them. Actually, Czech Republicball is interesting with 3 presidents Vaclav Havel, writer and humanist, Vaclav Klaus, who stole pen and Milos Zeman with his funny English language or drink alcohol.
In 2016, Czech Republicball changed its name to Czechiaball, yet most still call Czechiaball Czech Republicball despite the name change.
In 2020, relations between Czechiaball and Taiwanball became softer and more friendlier. Miloš Vystrčil once said, 'I believe that Taiwan is a free and democratic country. I believe that free and democratic countries have the right and obligation to cooperate with one another. This is why I have issued an invitation to the speaker of Taiwan’s Legislative Yuan, inviting him to lead a delegation to visit the senate of the Czech Republic so that our two countries can continue our cooperation.' Vystrcil emphasized that he had done nothing wrong. He said he did not feel he had infringed on the “One China” policy, as the Czech Republicball defines it. He said that Chinaball has its interpretation of the policy, but that other countryballs have the right to see it differently.
- Slovakiaball - Best friend and twin sister (sometimes wife). Our languages are very similar.
So you left me and now you want to have sex?
- Czechoslovakiaball - Son with Slovakia.
- Liberlandball - Son.
But why aren't you real?
- Kingdom of Bohemiaball - Father
- 🍺 Beer - Who needs balls with your gold friend.
- Austriaball - Old friend (But I still remember Austria-Hungary.) And he sometimes pisses me and Slovakiaball off with his anti-nuclear power stance. Nevertheless, I am going to expand both Dukovany and Temelín and I don't care what you think.
- Hungaryball - Visegrád 4 stronk!!
- Polandball - He is the other westernmost slav. We are strong partners in peacekeeping. Gratulacje Poland! Happy 100th anniversary to you. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE RUSSIAN BASTARD WITH NATO!
- Croatiaball - Favourite holiday destination. (Can't wait for summer!)
- Germanyball - My good old beer friend. Thanks for getting me into the EU but you are also scary. Don't give me that nightmare again. I'm still watching you.
- Mongoliaball - After Taiwan, my favourite Asian buddy. We were very good friends and business partners. (and still are).
- Israelcube - We are good friends (he bought weapons from me and I recognize Jerusalem as his capital).
- Vietnamball - Friends ever since with trading of humans. He like me and my sis as well. He calls me Séc all the time,
and believe in Sex Republic stereotype.
- Romaniaball - Latin Beer buddy. I like his Dacia cars and he likes my Škoda cars too.
- Angolaball - We were very good partners, when we both were communists.
- Serbiaball - He's good Slavic friend and good Kebab remover (when he doesn't mention a word about genocide)
- Sloveniaball .- Pls, join Visegrad my
- Ukraineball - Best supportive brother! I will defend you from the Russians just like what happened to me in 1968!
- USAball - Playing hockey with the Americans is great! We play a role in peacekeeping. GG man you win this time 3-2 in hockey (IIHF 2018).
- Canadaball - Playing hockey with Canada is fun! We like Canadians and they like us! Maple Syrup is great! I support you over China and Russia!
- Cyprusball - Nothing special, we just get along very well.
- North Dakotaball -
Ah yes, our colony in the USAball
- Chinaball - Hey, why are you mad at me? Is it because I became friends with your older brother Taiwan? It's okay, you're still my friend and one of my biggest trading partners but being with Taiwan is much better than you. He's so nice. I WON'T FORGET WHAT YOU DID TO HONG KONG IN JUNE 30 2020!!!!!
- Russiaball - We have a lot in common, but he is also a little aggressive (I'm sometimes scared of him). Yeah, and we both love ice hockey. We hate each other now since the UK attack on the Skirpals and the fact that I had to expell three Russian diplomats.
YOU ARE THE WORST ON POLITICS PUTIN! YOU SUCK (stojíte za prd!).AND STAY AWAY FROM POLAND AND CANADA! CANADA IS TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT YOU AND CHINA EVIL AMBITION OVER POLAND AND HIM! I WILL SIDE WITH NATO OVER YOU! ALSO ONE OF YOUR SONS STOLE MY FLAG!!!!
- EUball - He is good money gibber, but he is also annoying (he wants to send refugees to my country without my consent!)
- North Koreaball - (North Korea buys weapons and guns from Czechia). He's making peace with the South which is a sign of relief.
- Ukraineball - hey Buddy here's Crimeaball it's for yuo not Stupid Vodka either
- Liechtensteinball - Go away, I will keep MY castles!
- Torturer - Worse nightmare ever, I will remember you for bringing shame to my country in 1968.
- Slovakiaball - (Only in hockey) - 2003, 2007 and 2012 was a proud defeat for my team. We beated them back however in a 3-2 OVERTIME. Yay we all played well :)
- Philippinesball - I'm sorry for stole your flag I didn't know you made it in 1919 and I realized you made the flag in 1898 I'm sorry plz. forgive me!
- Kosovoball - I may recognise yuo but I don't like yuo cause I am friends with Serbiaball so nope.
- Wake Islandball - What a copy cat! Your not even Czech bro. Unless I make you one.
- Khabarovskball - RUSSIAN FLAG STEALER!!!!!!
- Boliviaball - NO PACIFIC COAST FOR YOU!
- GENOCIDER- One of my worst nightmares EVER! Do not remind me of the past or I will cry in bed with Poland. (Who always comforts me and was also a victim).
- Crimeaball - Listen!! yuo are Ukrainian not Russiaball thats final!!
Reichtangle- OH MOTHER OF GOD!!! (screams & faints)
- Holy Roman Empireball - Same as Nazi Germanyball and Reichtangle.
- Austrian Empireball - Same as Holy Roman Empireball
- Austria-Hungaryball - same as Austrian Empireball.
- ISISball - Go somewhere else with your muslim craziness such as Pakistan or some other desert countries.
- Turkeyball (In football) - defeated me in euro 2008 and euro 2016 with 3-2 and 2-0 but also don't forget I won 4-0 from you so hahahahahah but your kebab is tasty and very good.
- Saudi Arabiaball - STOP HATING ME AND MY TWIN FOR BEING CATHOLIC!! YOU ARABIC HOG!!!!!
- "We can win in Hockey :) Můžeme vyhrát v hokeji :)"
- "Slovakiaball is my brother and im loving him!"
- "Miloš Zeman is alcoholic."
- "Vepřo-knedlo-zelo best food (It means pork-dumplings-cabbage)"
- "Kunda sem, kunda tam" - Miloš Zeman (Pussy here, pussy there)
I PLAY POKÉMON GO EVERYDAY... I LOVE Minecraft!!! It's my favorite world!