|“||Äänd here we goo!||”|
— Lauri Vuohensilta
|“||There aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap.||”|
— Linus Torvalds
— Patrick Star from the Spongebob episode "Frankendoodle"
Finlandball, officially the Republic of Finlandball, is
Darude a fictional sovereign state and secret mongol puppet Nordic countryball located in Northern Europe. To the west he borders Swedenball, as well as Russiaball to the east and Norwayball to the North. His clay is divided into 19 regions with an Autonomous Region, as well as his capital Helsinkiball. With a total area of 338 440 square kilometers, Finland ranks 65 in largest countries in the world by area, as well as number 8 in Europe. As of 2019, he has a population of 5.521 million inhabitants. There are around 443 000 immigrants, most coming from Russiaball, Estoniaball, Iraqball, Swedenball, Somaliaball and Yugoslaviaball.
As the drunkest Countryball in Europe, Finland does not have many friends. His adoptive brother is Sweden, but he is of family. However, some consider his sister/wife Estoniaball as his best friend, since she sells him cheap alcohol. Another reason nobody likes Finland is that he never talks, preferring small talk and he seems unapproachable.
His national day is December 6th.
Finlandball was born as a 1ball. Unlike the majority of Europe, Finland, along with Hungary and Estonia (as well as some parts of western Russia) were settled by mongoloid Uralic groups that came from the Ural mountains of Russia. For a while, Finland was isolated from the rest of Europe until Scandinavian Christians went through Finland in order to spread Christianity through the Northern Crusades. The swedes successfully spread Christianity in Finland and Paganism died out there. Finlandball was then made a slave of Swedenball, until 1809, when he became part of Russian Empireball. In 1917 he gained independence, he descended into civil war between Finnish Whites and Finnish Reds for three months one year later, resulting in Finnish Whites victory. Then in 1939, he kicked Soviet Unionball's butt for attempting to Anschluss him during the Winter War, but was eventually pressured into giving up 10% of its clay to Sovietball by the war's end in 1940. A year later, the Continuation War broke out and Finlandball aligned itself with Nazi Germanyball during Operation Barbarossa and reclaimed its lost clay, but would see its clay lost once again in 1944 after it was once again pressured into surrendering to Sovietball due to there not being enough resources to continue the fight. Finlandball then fought Naziball in the Lapland War and paid war reparations to avoid occupation and retained his independence.
Today, Finlandball still works as a drunken farmer, but somehow, he managed to do some worthy things. Most notably, he develops the famous puzzle video game, Angry Birds, and the "indestructible" Nokia cellphone that not even Russian or American nukes can destroy. Finlandball celebrated his 100th birthday on December 6th, 2017.
The flag of Finland is a white banner with a blue Nordic cross
|Catalina Blue||0, 53, 128||C100-M59-Y0-K50||#003580|
|White||255, 255, 255||N/A||#FFFFFF|
Of course like all Nordic countries, the cross symbolizes Christianity. Color-wise, some people say the white stands for the winter, while the blue stands for the many lakes and blue skies in Finland.
- Estoniaball - My sister and best friend. Don't worry you can into Nordic when you can into perkele. Sometimes people think that she is my spouse but she’s not! We share the Same anthem which we kuje!
- Denmarkball - I like to call him Stupid Sweden. Is of friend, exports lots of fun goodies like Lego and Arla, but cant understand what hes saying. Also Norwayball, Swedenball and me like to make fun of his shitty hockey skills.
- Hungaryball - My eldest brother who got lost in Central Europe and was great on your actual home. The only one in the whole Europe, who not just understands my alcoholism, but does it as well also. I'm sorry for supporting EUball against you.
- Bulgariaball - Freind who needed kebab removed in 1870s . yuo welcoms!
- Italyball - I used to visit you, but now you're becoming unstable. Is everythings okay?
- Yooperball - American child, got much sisu. Speaks like Canadians. Also much of his population is Finnish!
- Kareliaball and Mari Elball - Brothers who live with Russiaball.
- Uralball - my dad, he lives with my Russian brothers.
- Samiball - polar brother, some of him lives with me.
- Norwayball - thanks for trying to give me the peak of Mount Halti, I absolutely love you.
I finally surpassed you in the World Happiness Report lol
- Icelandball - You so small i forget you sometimes but can into drinking PERKELE!
also gib more skyrri is so good yummy slurps slurps
- Canadaball - Our North American friend and hockey rival! You played very well in the World Juniors 2019 and the IIHF 2019 You were awesome! Awesome job in getting silver this championship! Thanks for the best match in Slovakia
- Spainball - Vacation! Also Axis buddies during WW2 even though he is neutral. Also we both hate Cataloniaball, though Basqueball is my friend.
- Swedenball - I was adopted by him. We are good friends now, but in the past I used to be of him clay. Made perkele pakkoruotsi (Forced Swedish lessons in school), perkele! Both Finland and Sweden joined the European Union in 1995. Relationships are maintained at the highest political level on a regular basis, and interactions between public authorities and civil society are very strong. New elements of the special relationship are the official minority language status that Finnish language received in Sweden as well as the business integration between the two countries. Both countries are also united by the fact that neither Finland or Sweden have decided to join NATO, whereas all the other Nordic Countries as well as the Baltic States are NATO members.
- Switzerlandball - Best hockey partner who fought a tough match
- USAball - Ay mate! We won the championship thanks for playing with us!
- Vietnamball and Indonesiaball - Other Southeast Asian friends. Both guys love my Nokia phones.
- Philippinesball - Best Southeast Asian Friend. His Father is USAball. I have several OFWs on my clay. But I'm sorry about your embassy on my capital.
- Chinaball - Best Asian friend! I was the third western country to recognize him after my brothers Denmarkball and Swedenball. At least once a year I make an official state visit to him. Is my fifth largest trading partner, I bring him technology and he brings me tourists, 380,000 of them in fact. We have many sister cities, is so perkele! Also 24,000 Chinese people live happily in my clay, and I havings many Chinese schools. But... I oppose the Hong Kong National Security law, sorry ystävä!
- Indiaball - We both have a love-hate relationship with Swedenball.
BUT DON’T MESS WITH MY FRIEND ANYWAY, YOU FAKE MUSLIMS! AND YOUR T-SERIES SUCK ANYWAY, SO MY FRIEND’S PEWDIEPIE WILL WIN!!!
- Germanyball - He helped fight me against vodka, but you were a Nazi though, so I kicked you out! Anyway we are fine with each other and you're not a Nazi now. Oh we both love drinking.
- Netherlandsball - Taught me how to weed. Also sellings me tulips PERKELE!
- Franceball - You is fun but can you stop with the revolutions. Also a League of Nationsball member, alongside UKball.
- Kosovoball - My 10th president made an idea of Kosovo becoming a sovereign state, also when Kosovoball became independent Albanians in Finland's clay celebrated and expressed their gratitude to the Finnish Government and President Ahtisaari.
- Polandball - Happy 100th. We are free from Russias wrath!
- Wyomingball, Acreball, and 6ball - Friends that exist except humans deny it. I don't like the fact that almost all of you guys (Except Acreball) want to destroy Earthball and humanity. What did they ever do to you?
- Basqueball - At least you are not as bad as Cataloniaball, who wants independence more than you do. But you are Spainball's clay and that is why you exist. We both speak difficult languages.
- Argentinaball - We both can into Tango, liking Donald Trump. Argentinaball is the 1st non-European country that I established diplomatic relations with.
- Peruball - Good South American friend, but Argentinaball will always be my best South American friend!
- Turkeyball - Ural-Altaic buddy. Also introduced kebab to me.
- Russian Empireball - Father. Thanks for giving me independence. We both hated Soviet Unionball, and we both fought him too.
- Namibiaball - Best African friend. Also we both like Reichtangle. (He is the Reich's colony while I was his client state.)
- UKball - Why you make everything so hard with Brexit? ALSO WHY YOU DECLARINGS WAR ON ME IN WW2!?!?!?! Okay i like him but he can be annoying sometimes.
- Mongoliaball - I'm sometimes considered to be you're ancestor but okay I kinda am (actually I'm not. We just both from Siberia)
- Romaniaball - Stop bringing gypsies to my clay!!
- Russiaball - Never forget 1939, but in recent decades our relationship has improved and we are good now. We also vodka-drinking buddies and we go to saunas together. BUT GIB BACK KARELIA AND SALLA MOTHERF**KER!!!!!!
- Greeceball - PAY DEBTS!!!!!.
- Soviet Unionball - NJET MOLOTOFF, NJET MOLOTOFF / VALEHTELIT ENEMMÄN KUIN ITSE BOBRIKOFF!!! 1939 NEVER FORGET. JUST TAKE BACK YOUR VODKA!!! I HATE YOU FUCKIN COMMUNIST.
- North Koreaball - Is not to be of trustings perkele... REMOVE KIM FAMILY AND YOUR NUKES FROM YOUR BROTHER!!!
- Venezuelaball - Another commie... In 30 March 2020, a patrol boat fired gunshots and collided with a cruiser built in mun clay; but fortunately his ship sank
- Cataloniaball - I would have put him jail if he didn't escape to Belgium.
- Moroccoball - NEVER FORGET 2017 TURKU
- Somaliaball - STOP INVADINGS MY CLAY!!!
- Japanball - I like your anime and cars BUT YOU RUINED IEVAN POLKKA!
But we both were Axis buddies during World War 2 and we both were Ural-Altaic cousins.
- South Africaball - DECLARED WAR ON ME WHAT I DO TO YUO!! WW2 NEVER FORGET!! NEVER FORGET APARTHEID!
- Alandball - Daughter that hates me. HOW DARE YOU LOVE SWEDEN NOT ME? WHY? WHY??????