|“||FLAG STEALERS!!!!!!!!!! ANSCHLUSS!!!!!!!!||”|
Molossiaball is a Micronationball inside USAball. He claims to be at war with East Germanyball, despite them gone decades ago. He is also recognized by no one, excluding fellow micronationballs. Molossiaball has 0.0020 square miles of clay.
Molossia originally began as the Republic of Vuldstein in 1977 in Oregonball. It later became inactive, but Kevin Baugh kept it running for the next 21 years. On November 12th, 1983, Molossia (As Vuldstein) declared war on East Germany. In 1995, Vuldstein (Now PDR Molossia) was transplanted to Nevada to be placed on land bought by the Baughs. It then Became a communist state and then in 1999, it was reformed into Molossia. That is where modern (Tbh basically all of) Molossian history begins. But on July 3rd, a "war" began.
The Dead Dog "War"
Supposedly, "Covert forces" from the US buried a dog in Molossian territory on the evening of July 3rd. Molossia said this was a threat to his sovereignty, and thus opened up for negotiations. So, Molossia attacked, using the ceaseless chatter of a hyperactive thirteen-year-old boy. After two weeks of "conflict", the siege resulted in the soldiers "surrendering". The dead dog, now considerably more decomposed than before the war, was removed. Some time later, reparations were made to Molossia, in the form of a wood garbage can holder. While not being a war in the strictest sense, due to a lack of direct armed conflict, it is defined so becasue it was resolved by unconventional weapons and not purely by diplomacy.
2 Years later, the 1st Micro-national Olympics were held in Molossia. In 2003, land in California was purchased and became a colony, Farfalla. In 2005 this colony was surrendered, but the colony Dessert Homestead supplanted it nearly simultaneously after. Nothing much to say beyond that, but on May 22nd, 2006, Molossia would begin a series of conflicts.
War with Mustachistan
On May 22nd, the Nation of Mustachistan (Pronounced Mustache-i-stan) declared war on Molossia. Let's rewind a bit. Mustachistan was formed by a colleague of Baugh, (And this is a real name), Sultan Ali Ali Achensfree. He bought and claimed a good chunk of land, In which Molossia lied. This naturally angered Molossia, and he told Mustashistan to relinquish claims in the Molossian territory. But of course, Mustachistan did not and claimed tensions were strained. After a series of arguments, a summit was held between the two leaders. But, this did not go well. After a series of arguments, Molossia refused to withdraw its sovereignty, and Mustachistan put up an anti-Molossian sign and a fence. Baugh, in the most awesome act made by a head of state, removed it and stepped on it.
By this point, War was very possible. Mustachistan threatened Molossia because of the sign removal and said it would take revenge. Unlike most micronations, a war was possible between Molossia and Mustachistan because they had tangible territory to defend and were very close in proximity. Some war was soon to occur, and what form it would take was unknown.
On May 22nd, Mustachistan declared war On Molossia, and war began.
The Eastern Front
The Battle of Lake Jean
Weather in late May slowed The Molossians, and the Mustachistanis advanced towards Lake Jean in New Antrim, trying to gain a foothold in New Antrim. Thus, the Molossian Naval Forces of New Antrim (The Atlantic Fleet) set out to repel the Mustachistani threat on Lake Jean. Mustachistani elements had moved to establish themselves on the lake, and Molossia launched its fleet to repel the threat. The Atlantic Fleet consisted of two vessels, A canoe and a kayak (Respectively the MS3 Boomer and MS4 Old Town), each carrying 3 soldiers. The Mustachistanis launched two kayaks in response, the "Dagger" and the "Corsica". The Boomer landed on Middle island while the Old Town repelled the Mustachistani boats. Eventually, the Mustachistanis also made it to Middle Island and they were allowed to visit the newly conquered territory as a show of good sportsmanship. With Middle Island secured from the enemy, the Atlantic Fleet decided to take Big Jean Island before the Mustachistanis had a chance. The Old Town made landfall, but it couldn't get offshore. A heated battle broke out, and it was flipped over by the oars of the enemy ships. The Boomer towed the overturned vessel back to Middle Island where the fleet regrouped. They then set sail from Middle Island and succeeded in landing on Big Jean Island in short order and ahead of the Mustachistanis. New Antrim's sovereignty of the two islands established, and control of the lake firmly in their hands, the fleet returned to shore, victorious.
The Battle of Black Lizard Canyon
The Molossian Naval Infantry took to the field on 29 May 2006 and moved to intercept the Army of Mustachistan, which had deployed along Sutro Creek in an area called Black Lizard Canyon, not far from the northern Molossian frontier. Some guerilla warfare tactics were used by the Molossians to make victory easier. Mustachistani forces attacked from a nearby ridge, and the Molossian troops immediately sought cover and deployed a skirmish line along the bottom of the creek. The Mustachistanis quickly followed up their initial gains by advancing their line forward to within 100 meters of the Molossian positions. They exchanged fire for a bit before the Molossians mounted a charge and forced a retreat. They chose not to pursue and instead mounted defensive positions. There was only one known casualty: A Molossian was shot in the arm. Following the battle, scouting patrols were sent out to determine the location of the Mustachistani Army and to thereby deal them a decisive blow on the battlefield that might end the war.
The Battle of Rattlesnake Rift
Following the Mustachistani defeat at BLC, Mustachistani then forces proved themselves to be elusive and difficult to engage in battle. Finally, on 3 June, Molossian scouts reported that the Mustachistani Army was in the vicinity of Mosquito Bend, along the Carson River. On 4 June, At 9:00 AM Molossian troops launched an amphibious assault on the Mustachistani forces at Mosquito Bend. The Mustachistanis retreated until they got to Rattlesnake Rift, where they chose to make a stand and thus the battle began. They dug a trench, and Molossian fusillades of fire could not dislodge them. A decision was made to flank them by moving Molossian troops to the rocks above the canyon. This plan necessitated a treacherous climb up a steep cliff, but the Molossians succeded and fired from above. This attack crippled Mustachistani infantry, and several were injured and one died. The captured Mustachistanis were marched to Molossia and bivouacked under guard at the Alphonse Simms Memorial Broomball Field and Cosmodrome. It was presumed that this effectively ended the armed conflict phase of the war with Mustachistan, as their Army had surrendered and had ceased to exist. Negotiations were opened to discuss the formal cessation of hostilities.
In accordance with the treaty, Mustachistani troops, currently held under guard Alphonse Simms Memorial Broomball Field since the Battle of Rattlesnake Rift, were immediately repatriated to Mustachistan. Furthermore, Mustachistan agreed to relinquish all claims to Molossia, and respect Molossian rights to visit the Riverpark in Carson City. Finally, Mustachistan agreed to pay reparations in the form of cookie dough (bruh), one tube a month for six months. Molossia made no territorial demands of Mustachistan.
War with East Germany (Bruh)
Sometime in 1983, Vuldstein declared war on East Germany. This was forgotten, and East Germany capitulated. This should have ended the war. SHOULD HAVE. It is unknown why war was declared, but references point to a "sleep disturbance".
The Claim Explained
It would seem, however, that the end of East Germany, which took place on 3 October 1990, would also mark the end of the Molossian war with that nation. However, East Germany lives on (supposedly) in an unlikely place, and thus the "war" lives on as well. The last remaining remnant of East German sovereignty is tiny Ernst Thälmann Island (Cayo Ernesto Thaelmann), off the coast of Cuba. The island is 15 km long, but not more than 500 meters wide and is uninhabited except for the iguanas and birds that are indigenous there, and the occasional tourists stopping by. During a state visit to East Germany in June 1972 Fidel Castro made the island, then called Cayo Blanco del Sur, a gift to East Germany. The island was renamed in honor of German Communist politician Ernst Thälmann, who was the leader of the Communist Party of Germany (KPD) during much of the Weimar Republic and was later imprisoned and murdered during the Nazi regime. In August 1972, the East German ambassador to Cuba erected a bust of Ernst Thälmann on communist Germany’s one and only foothold in the tropics. The island wasn’t mentioned in the treaty unifying both Germanys, which makes it arguably the last remaining piece of East German territory. As the island is uninhabited, there is no one with whom to negotiate a peace treaty. Thus the "war" lives on as well, with no end in sight. In response to this, Molossia re-opened the War Department, closed since the successful prosecution of the War with Mustachistan.
Small "war" Activity
Plans apparently are being drawn up to deal with any threat, that "East Germany" "poses". One cannot rule out the possibility of covertly-trained attack iguanas, or so they say.
On 11 February 2009, a covert team of operatives from the Principality of Vikesland, headed by Prince Christopher himself, landed on Ernst Thälmann Island to conduct recon operations there. The purpose was to determine the extent of East German "activities" on the island. Among other evidence of East German activities, a massive comunications tower was noted, and the East German flag was discovered, supposed proof that East Germany is still operating. It is unknown if the war will or even could cease.
On 9 April 2010, the Republic of Molossia was invaded and the government was overthrown and replaced by a dictatorship led by Nostalgia Critic. But only two days later this government would capitulate. Here is everything about these 2 days.
The Invasion and Day 1
On the Morning of the first day, a small army of about 20 people invaded Molossia armed with foam swords, airsoft guns, baseball bats, and other zany weapons and assaulted the fence. They did this for about an hour before then simply using a ladder to climb the fence. They clashed with the Molossian army before killing and capturing them, and Molossia was seized. To avoid the devastation of Molossia, Baugh surrendered to the leader of the invading army. In short order, the Molossian Government was replaced and the name was changed to "Kickassia".
Having achieved their goal of occupying Molossia, the government of Kickassia set about running their new nation. They quickly found it to be more difficult than they had previously thought, their struggles with new nationhood compounded by the egotistical behavior of their dictatorial leader. As friction increased between their leader and the Kickassian people, President Baugh, in the guise of his alter ego, Baron Fritz von Baugh, worked behind the scenes to subvert the Kickassian Government. "Fritz" was retained to keep things running during the transition between governments, an advantageous position that allowed him to help turn the Kickassians against their dictator. Finally, Kickassia collapsed, and the dictator was violently overthrown. On april 11th, Nostalgia crtic and his mob departed and deoccupied Molossia. And that's it. All of Molossia's history.
- USAball: Fat people like I think it's my shoulder (maybe my father)
- East Germanyball: The man who deals with me and the worst !! OH? HE’S GONE?! NO HE ISN’T! HE’S STILL OUT THERE, WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT TO STRIKE!
- Malaysiaball: YOU STOLE MY NAME!
- Sierra Leoneball, Lesothoball, Uzbekistanball,Bashkortostanball and Puntlandball: FLAG STEALERS!
- Cubaball: I hear you're hiding East Germanyball in your basement! I will declare war on you!!!!
- Albaniaball: YOU STOLE OUR ANTHEM!