Penangball is a state at the north-western coast of Peninsular Malaysiaball. Penangball is made up of Penang Island and a piece of Peninsular. It is bordered by Kedahball to its north and east, and Perakball to the south.
Penangball, which founded by UKball in 1786, is one of the most developed, urbanized and crowded states of Malaysiaball, with the nation's second biggest city. Penangball is also famous as the "food capital of Malaysiaball", and a tourist destination for its UNESCO site, multicultural history, beaches and hills. Due to that, Penangball is a favourite city for expats in South East Asia.
Then came UKball in 1786, thy pirate by the name of Francis Light who seized Penangball from Kedahball. UKball then took Tringapore and Malaccaball, and together with these two states, Penangball can into Straits Settlementball.
Thy pirate Light also gib Penangball an Engrish capital : George Townball, along with a Port to maintain his
pirate Company fleet. Later, while looking for Davy Jone's locker, he was killed... by a brave Penang mosquito. Pirate Light was buried in George Townball forevermore.
After UKball takes back Penangball from Japanball in 1945, Penangball was annexed into Malayan Unionball, Malayaball and Malaysiaball. This despite a number of local Penang lang (Penang citizens) opposed the merger, leading to a secessionist movement which UKball wankers shot to pieces.
Since Penangball was very similar to its sibling Tringapore as relatively developed island city-states with entrepots and large Cina populations, and Penangball has an
Manglish Engrish-sounding capital city (George Townball), the central government in Kuala Lumpurball decided to "screw that fake coloniarist Engrish-town lah, we have our own capitar to deverop". Nevertheless, Penangball continued to grow on its own, becoming the Silicon Valley of the East, thanks to massive industrialization that brought foreign firms to the island.
In 2008, Penangball can into 'opposition mode' and has been better run since, witnessing rapid development. At the same time, UNball gave George Townball a UNESCO World Heritage listing, boosting Penangball's tourism sector.
He loves Penang food and thinks all your bases are belong to Penang food, hands down. You name it, Penangball has it : char koay teow, asam laksa, nasi kandar, Hokkien mee, rojak, curry mee, cendol, etc. Penangball cooks better than all other Malaysiaball and Tringapore combined lah, attracting folks from the rest of Malaysiaball, Tringapore and even ang moh (3ball, 2ball and 5ball) to jam Penangball's streets for that famous plate of char koay teow.
Like its sibling Tringapore, Penangball can be kiasu (scared to lose) and hardworking as well. As one of the most developed cities in Malaysiaball, Penangball contributed significantly to that country's GDP, although receiving little in return for obvious reasons. Moreover, Penangball may be lacking in size, but not lacking in quality - just ask Jimmy Choo, Nicol David, Lee Chong Wei, Wu-lien Teh and P. Ramlee.
Penangball also loves its traditions and heritage, a proud product of UKball's fatherly rule that led to a rojak mix of cultures, religions and traditions. A big thank you to UKball for all that colonial buildings which led to the UNESCO site by UNball and Anna and the King.
Penangball can speak various languages - Malay,
Manglish, Singlish, Engrish, Mandarin, Cantonese, Hakka, Tamil, Punjabi, Indonesian and Thai. But its most distinct tongue and lingua franca is Penang Hokkien, spoken and understood by virtually most Penang lang regardless of race on Penangball's streets.
- UKball : Limpeh (your father) who found Penangball, gib monies and turned it into a port city. But then, UKball abandoned Penangball to be raped by Japanball in 1941. Later, UKball gib up Penangball (again) to Malayaball against Penang lang's wishes, and the rest is history. Still, thanks you for the colonial buildings, because Penangball has UNESCO site from UNball.
- Tringapore : Former close brother historically, geographically, demographically, linguistically development. Both got owned by UKball as Straits Settlementball, and became bustling island city-states with major ports. Today, Penangball is also known as 1960s Tringapore by Singaporeans who love making trips north and then complain how Tringapore's food cannot match Penangball's sia. Why you remove Hokkien? We could be of Hokkien brothers.
- Indonesiaball : My regular patient, OI, STOP 'SMOKING' LAH ! TAKE YOUR HAZE ELSEWHERE, CAN ?
- Thailandball : Sawadeekap ! Thank you for not attack Penangball when he was small, and for feeding him with tom yum, kap. You also have the best girls on Earth. Malaysian Chinese men from Penang like your girls. I also have a wat and I enjoy Pad Thai.
- Kedahball : Former dad who surrendered Penangball to UKball, but once in a while, still threatens to own back Penangball. Fortunately, Malaysiaball's Constitution says no.
- Indiaball : Ancestral homeland for many of Penangball's colonial-era immigrants. Also the source of spicy curry, macha (bro) ! Yummy !
- Chinaball : Ancestral homeland for many of Penangball's colonial-era immigrants. Also Penangball welcomes Chinaball's investments so much, Chinaball opens one consulate.
- Taiwanball : Also speaks Hokkien, albeit the ori one. Source of Hokkien TV dramas.
- South Koreaball : Plastic K-pop models, Samsung and Gangnam Style, first performed for Penangball.
- Japanball : Investments, anime, sushi and long tentacles that raped Penangball in 1941, killing thousands.
- Germanyball : Gib Penangball Nazi submarines in WW2. After the war, gib Penangball investments and factories to atone.
- Australiaball : Another Commonwealth matey. Thanks for defending Penangball in the 60s, mate !
- New Zealandball : Another Commonwealth matey. Kudos for defending Penangball too !
- Russiaball : Sacrificed a Navy warship and dozens of sailors defending Penangball in WW1.
- Armeniaball : Gib Penangball a nice luxurious hotel.
- USAball : Gib Penangball a Motorola plant and a couple of Navy warships to play with.
- Bangladeshball : WAH LAU, DON'T TURN OUR CITY INTO LITTLE DHAKA !
- Myanmarball : STOP CHOPPING EACH OTHER'S HEADS ALREADY LAH !
- Vietnamball : Sweet ladies sia ! Can into wives, honey.
|Federal territories||Kuala Lumpurball • Putrajayaball • Labuanball|
|States|| Peninsular: Selangorball • Perakball • Penangball • Malaccaball • Kelantanball • Terengganuball • Perlisball • Pahangball • Negeri Sembilanball • Johorball • Kedahball |
Eastern: Sarawakball • Sabahball
|Former entities||Migrants from the North that later crossed the ocean • Malayan Unionball • Straits Settlementball • Federated Malay Statesball • Unfederated Malay States ( Johor Sultanateball • Kedah Sultanateball • Terengganu Sultanateball • Kelantan Sultanateball • Perlis Sultanateball) • Dutch Malaccaball • Portuguese Malaccaball • Malacca Sultanateball • Crown Colony of Sarawakball • Crown Colony of North Borneoball • Kingdom of Sarawakball • Crown Colony of Labuanball • Bruneian Empireball • Malayaball|