|“||Ich just hate polen||”|
Polandball (officially the Republic of Polandball) is the original protagonist of Polandball and the country in which the comic genre is named after. He can't get anything in space according to the meme, even though there was a Polish cosmonaut, Miroslaw Hermaszewski. Poland is the country where vodka was invented
(though Russiaball disputes this claim).
This character is often portrayed as a naive countryball bullied by his neighbours for partitions or annexations. Usually, he's a plumber for the United Kingdomball, based on the fact that many Poles live in Great Britain. Both Germanyball and Russiaball sometimes see Polandball as a possible expansion territory.
Polish territory was firstly considered inhabited by the Civitas Schinesghe, a West Slavic tribe, in the ninth century.
By the 10th Century, Polandball began to unify into a distinct political state under the Piast Dynasty. The first Polish ruler, Mieszko I, adopted Catholicism as the state religion, replacing Slavic Pagan tradition in 966.
During Middle Ages, it participated in the crusades by Teutonic Orderball against Norse and Novgorodian pagans. In the 14th century, Poland is one of the few countries that is not affected by the black death. The avoidance of the epidemic is attributed to Casimir the Great's decision to shut down Poland's borders.
The Jagiellon dynasty was established under Lithuanian Grand Duke Władysław II Jagiełło, forming a union between the Kingdom of Polandball and the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. This, however was a series of alliances, and should not be mistaken for the future Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. Within the Jagiellon Dynasty, Polandball also began developing a feudal system. The passing of the Nihil Novi act also brought upon a period called the "Golden Liberty." The Renaissance brought upon new ideas. Nicolaus Copernicus, the discovered of the heliocentric theory, was a citizen of Poland-Lithuaniaball. Due to Papal Statesball thinking that the Earth was the center of the Universe, the theory took time to become finally official.
When in 1569 Poland finally reached a personal union with the Grand Duchy of Lithuaniaball since a century of tentatives, a new country born: the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealthball became the most powerful East European country.
The Commonwealth conquered the Baltic territory, inhabited mainly by Livonian Orderball, and won against Ottomanball in 1699 in the Polish-Ottoman War. This war, unfortunately, weakened the country and during the1720s the Polish Succession War made the situation even more difficult. The result was the First Partition of Poland, in 1772, and the second Partition, in 1794, where Austrian Empireball, Russian Empireball, and Kingdom of Prussiaball got all the territory formerly part of Poland-Lithuaniaball.
Era of Occupation (1795-1918)
The Partitions of Poland marked the beginning of over a century of foreign occupation. Almost immediately, Poles rebelled against their partitioners, especially around the early 19th century.
In 1806, Napoleonic Franceball started invading the Kingdom of Prussiaball and created the Duchy of Warsawball as a puppet for getting help to spread the Revolution. But this lasted just for eight years after which Poland was given to the Russian Empireball.
As the Spring of Nations swept Europe, Polandball once again took up arms in the Polish Uprising of 1848 against Prussiaball's rule. Initially, Poles resisted with peaceful civil disobedience. However, when Prussiaball sent his military to suppress this, a full-scale uprising began. After several battles, Prussiaball managed to completely suppress the uprising and the Russian Empireball more integrally incorporated the Grand Duchy of Posenball.
In 1914, World War I started and German Empireball fought Russian Empireball. In this mode, Congress Polandball stopped being a Russian puppet and became a German puppet for a couple of years, until Second Polish Republicball was constituted thanks to the Paris Peace Conference.
Soviet Unionball decided to retake the Polish land after World War I, causing the Polish-Soviet War. This war quickly ended with the defeat of Russians (that got Ukrainian SSRball as additional land) and the victory of Poles.
In 1933, Weimar Republicball fell into Nazi Germanyball (famous for his anti-semitic actions) that decided to invade in 1939 Second Polish Republicball and the Free City of Danzigball to retake the land lost during World War I. The Poles fought bravely
contrary to popular stereotypes, yet with the USSRball invading as well from the East, the fall of Warsawball on 28 September was ultimately inevitable.
Under the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact, Polandball was split into two occupation zones between Nazi Germanyball and the USSRball. Subsequently, Soviet authorities purged Polish prisoners and military officers in the Katyn Massacre and deported hundreds of thousands of Polish civilians.
Underground resistance fighters in occupied Polandball established the Armia Krajowa to fight against the occupying Germans. Considered one of the largest resistance movements of the war, Armia Krajowa effectively functioned as an entire underground state, and committed key acts of sabotage and targeted assassination.
Nazi Germany build six extermination camps during the Holocaust, which included the infamous Treblinka, Auschwitz-Birkenau, and Majdanek camps. The camps located within Polandball served as the Reich's largest, and in total 3 million Polish Jews along with a further 2.8 million ethnic Poles were murdered.
Eventually, Polandball was "liberated" by the incoming Red Army, though the German occupation left a completely shattered nation in its wake. Of all countries in World War II, Polandball suffered the highest proportion of casualties with relation to his population.
After the war, the USSRball set up a provisional communist government in Polandball. By 1952, the People's Republic of Polandball was set up as a Soviet satellite state. Despite widespread popular rejection, the PR Polandball ceded his eastern territories to the Soviet Unionball. He could eventually into Warsaw Pact.
In 1978, a Pole, Karol Wojtyla, was elected Pope as Pope John Paul II.
Turmoil once again arose in the 1980s as the independent trade union Solidarity grew as a major political force. Even under government persecution and the declaration of martial law in 1981, Solidarity gradually eroded PR Polandball's single-party rule. By 1989, Solidarity triumphed and the first free, democratic elections since the end of World War II were held. The Solidarity movement heralded the collapse of PR Polandball as well as other puppet regimes throughout Eastern Europe.
After the Cold War ended, massive liberalizing reforms took place. Polandball relaxed freedom of press and speech and greatly increased personal freedoms. Initially, as with most other Eastern Bloc countries, Polandball's economy slowed down. Polandball became the first post-communist state to reach his pre-1989 levels thanks to an economic boom by 1995.
- Hungaryball - Can best friends since of Middle Ages. Both into hatings Reich kraut .
- Czechiaball and Slovakiaball - Other West Slavs. Against migrants like me.
- Romaniaball - Good friend, helped me during war and hates Russiaball
- USAball - Good friends. He is of cool guy. There are also many Polish immigrants in Chicagoball.
Gib NASA so I can into space!!!
- UKball - Helpful of during war, bossy when employer.
- Franceball - Good wine and help me reborn but surrended.
- Vaticanball - Jan Pawel forever!
- Bulgariaball - Good friends. Work together a lot.
- Lithuaniaball - Long live the Commonwealth!
- Canadaball - Great friend, gibs maple syrup.
- Argentinaball - National Day of The Pole!
- South Koreaball - Aiming to become better friends with them in future. Believes Dokdo is Korean. Gib factories, plox!
- Belarusball - Is of good friend. But also into friend with Russia...
- Italyball -
Marsz, marsz, Dąbrowski, Z ziemi włoskiej do PolskiGood friend, of gib me pizza and is be really good!
- Germanyball -
Grand meanHis chancellor is of Nazi! But he gib me monies.
- Russiaball - Successor of Soviet. Ghost of his father tried to spoil of our relationships. Still wants to restore his Empire. But we both can into vodka and also equally strong hate gays, Fourth Reich Kraut and Ukraineball.
He also brought a Pole to space.
- Indonesiaball, Hesseball and Monacoball - Is of flag stealers!
- Nazi Germanyball -
Fuck them, PRUSY SĄ POLSKIE, ŁUŻYCE SĄ POLSKIE, ŚLĄSK JEST POLSKI, DREZNO JEST POLSKIE, BERLIN JEST POLSKI, NORYMBERGA JEST POLSKA, MONACHIUM JEST POLSKIE, STUTTGART JEST POLSKI, FRANKFURT JEST POLSKI, KOLONIA JEST POLSKA, POMORZE TEŻ, GDAŃSK TEŻ a jak znowu spróbujecie germanizować Wielkopolskę to wpierdolimy wam gorzej niż w 1919 :), CAŁE NIEMCY SĄ POLSKIE!TOOK OUR PAINTINGS AND OTHER THINGS. THAT'S WHY POLAND IS POOR!
- Soviet Unionball - Ruled me for 44 years. He was a very big bully.
- Ukraineball - Remember Wołyń! Gib Lwów, Stanisławów and Tarnopol!
Also, Remember 2012?
- Reichtangle - KURWA DIES GOWNO!!!
- ISISball - STAY AWAY FROM ME! KURWA!!!!!
|Founders||USAball • Canadaball • Icelandball • UKball • Franceball • Portugalball • Italyball • Belgiumball • Netherlandsball • Luxembourgball • Denmarkball • Norwayball|
|Joined during the Cold War||Greeceball • Turkeyball • West Germanyball ( Germanyball since October 1990) • Spainball|
|Joined after the Cold War||Polandball • Czechiaball • Hungaryball • Sloveniaball • Slovakiaball • Romaniaball • Bulgariaball • Lithuaniaball • Latviaball • Estoniaball • Croatiaball • Albaniaball • Montenegroball • North Macedoniaball|
|Membership Action Plan||Bosnia and Herzegovinaball|
|Intensified Dialogue||Georgiaball • Ukraineball|
|Individual Partnership Action Plan||Armeniaball • Azerbaijanball • Kazakhbrick • Moldovaball • Serbiaball|