|“||I will be number one...||”|
|“||The past is a lighthouse, not a port.||”|
|“||What sick man sends babies to fight me?||”|
— [TF2 Heavy]
Russiaball, officially the Russian Federationball, is a Slavic country in both Eastern Europe, and Northern Central and East Asia. His clay borders the Arctic Ocean to the North, Azerbaijanball, Chinaball, Georgiaball, Kazakhbrick, Mongoliaball, and North Koreaball to the South, the Pacific ocean and just off the coast of Alaskaball to the East, and Belarusball, Estoniaball, Finlandball, Latviaball, Ukraineball, and Norwayball to the West. If you count the Kaliningrad Oblast he also borders Polandball and Lithuaniaball (The most borders of any country!) The country is divided into 85 federal subjects, including their capital Moscowball which acts as one of the federal cities including Saint Petersburgball and disputably Sevastopolball though Ukraine may also claim it, giving him a total area of 6,601,670 square miles (Without Crimea), making him the largest country in the world, even larger than Plutoball, and as of 2019, it has a population of 146.793 million inhabitants.
After his father Soviet Unionball died (still a Soviet but with a different colour) and all of his siblings separated, Russia took matter into his own hands and created many Eastern-based organizations to counter against the Western world, such as CISball, CSTOball, and Eurasian Unionball. Russia also has a supranational union with his sister Belarusball, and has a permanent seat in the UNball security council.
He is often thought of as a potential superpower, due to the fact how STRONK he is.
His national day is December 25.
In the 9th century Ancient Slavs inhabited the lands that are now Russiaball. On these lands Slavs based 2 biggest rus' cities at that time: Novgorodball in the north and Kievball in the south. Novgorod was well-developed, strong, very warlike and unruly city, Novgorodians fought with all nearby tribes. In the late of 9th century citizens of Novgorodball invited Vikings to the city. "Our land is large and abundant, but there is no order in it", said Novgorodians to them and asked them to become rulers of the Novgorodball. The Vikings agreed. New rulers united southern Kievball and northern Novgorodball and forged them into a nation called Kievan Rusball. Slowly Viking rulers adopted native customs and language and were assimilated into Russian society.
Meanwhile, Europe was attacked by -wait for it- the Mongols! At first, they destroyed towns and massacred the inhabitants but later let the Russian principalities rule themselves as long as they paid tribute.
" Lord Novgorodball the Great" (his favourite nickname) however was not invaded, but he wisely decided to voluntarily submit to the Mongol Empireball. While under the Mongols, Lord Novgorodball the Great decided to annex surrounding territory
(in Russiaball annexing territory is a national sport equal to drinking) and his ruler became the prince of Moscow in 1263. But it did not stop there, his next rulers also gradually kept annexing large amounts of territory, slowly becoming larger and stronger.
Ivan III (1462 - 1505) removed Mongol in 1480 ceasing to be a slave. He also annexed territory. The last independent parts of Russiaball were annexed by his son Vasili III thus Russiaball gradually became complete.
In 1547 he became Tsardom of Russiaball. In the 16th century Russiaball had far more contact with western Europe. Many European craftsmen came to work in Russiaball, Englandball began trading by sea with him.
In 1533 Ivan the Terrible inherited the throne of Russiaball, he was crowned Tsar (derived from the Roman Caesar). He also expanded Russiaball territory annexing clay
drinking and annexing are the joy of Rus mostly from the remains of Mongol Empireball, After that glorious period, Ivan became increasingly paranoid degenerating into a tyrant. He killed his own son. He died in 1584. His other son, Theodore, died in 1598 without leaving an heir and Russiaball entered a period of turmoil.
In 1603 a pole man aka "The False Dmitry" claiming to be Ivan the Terrible's youngest son Dmitry appeared. In reality, Dmitry died in 1591. He then raised an army and conquered Moscow in 1605. But he was replaced by Prince Vasily Shusky in 1606. Russiaball then descended into anarchy "It's of every vodka for himself!" until a man named Michael Romanov was made tsar of Russiaball, starting the era of the Romanov dynasty that would last for 300 years.
In 1645, Michael Romanov was succeeded by his son, Alexis the Most Gentle. During his reign, the Ukrainians, who were ruled by the Poles, sought protection from Russia. This event started The Deluge where Poland-Lithuaniaball lost more than half of its population, you had it coming! In 1667 Russia gained all of the Ukraine east of the Dneiper, Kiev and Smolensk.
In 1682 the famous Peter the Great became Tsar. He was determined to bring Russia up to date and turn it into a European nation. In 1696-97 he travelled to the west. He built a navy and in 1696 he captured Azov from kebab. Peter encouraged foreign trade, the translation of foreign books into Russian, the building of factories (peasants were conscripted to work in them), introduced the Julian calendar, reformed the Russian government and administration, introduced western dress and banned the Russian nobles (boyars) from wearing beards. When the patriarch died in 1700 Peter refused to replace him. Instead, he formed a body called a Holy Synod to head the Russian Orthodox Church.
The church was made subordinate to the Tsar and was meant to serve him. Peter also founded a port in northwest Russia called St Petersburg. The new city was built in the years 1703-1712. Vast numbers of peasants were conscripted to do the work and many thousands of them died because of the harsh conditions. Peter also imposed heavy taxation on his people.
In 1700 Peter the Great went to war with Swedenball in what became known as The Great Northern War. ( Polandball and Denmarkball were his allies). In 1700 the he was defeated at Neva. However in 1709 Swedenball invaded Ukraineball and were crushed at the Battle of Poltava. In 1721 he made peace with Swedenball gaining Estonia and land around the Gulf of Finland. ( Ingriaball)
However Peter was less successful against the kebab. In 1710 he went to war with them but in 1711 his army was defeated and he was forced to make peace. He was forced to return Azov.
In 1721 Russia became the Russian Empireball. After Peter the Great's death in 1725 a few other boring rulers came. But then in 1762 came another Russian jewel: Catherine the Great.
Catherine was German, but she loved Russia with all of her heart. Under her reign, The Russian Empire has reached such heyday as under the rule of Peter the Great. Under Catherine's rule Russian Empireball continued to expand his clay. She fought a successful war with kebab in 1768-1774. As a result, Russian Empireball gained land by the Black Sea and in 1783 took Crimea. kebab lost even more territory after a war in 1787-1791.
In 1772, Russian Empireball, Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austrian Empireball helped themselves to a slice of Polandball each. Russian Empireball and Kingdom of Prussiaball helped themselves to more Polandball each in 1793. Finally in 1795 Russian Empireball, Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austrian Empireball divided up what was left of Polandball between them. By the time Catherine died in 1796 Russia was very powerful.
Russian Empireball later fought with Franceball, UKball, Ottomanball, the Japanese Empireball and the German Empireball. Also, While fighting the in the Osowiec Fortress. The Germans released a gas attack, killing the Russian's 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th armies. Then, the remaining 80th and 13th armies surprised the German's 14 bayonets, causing them to retreat. The Russian Empire resembles the weakness of the Russian people. To this day Russia hates the empire.
- Main article: Soviet Unionball
Soviet Unionball was born in 1903 as Bolshevikball, which became Russian SFSRball, but had to defeat the traitorous white army. They emerged victorious in 1922, and attempted to spread communism into the former territories of their father's empire, creating Ukrainian and Byelorussian SSRballs. But Polandball was able to stop communism's advance into Europe, for a while...
On 1st September 1939, Nazi Germanyball invaded Polandball's clay, followed by Sovietball on the 17th of September, splitting Polandball's clay up. Around this time, Sovietball was setting up gulags in Siberia and kidnapping other countryballs who lived near them: like Estoniaball, Latviaball, Lithuaniaball, and Moldovaball, turning them into communist SSRballs. They even tried to annex Finlandball's, but was stopped by the more prepared Finns.Yet Sovietball Won the war and took lots of Finlandball's still surrendered clay to them at the end because of casualties.
World War II (1941-1945)
In 1941 Nazi Germanyball broke the non-aggression pact and invaded Sovietball's clay with Operation Barbarossa. Naziball besieged Leningrad, and reached the outskirts of Moscow by December 1941, but was forced back because of the Russian winter. The more prepared Sovietball took advantage of the delay by launching a counter-offensive in the spring. Then when Nazi Germanyball tried to take Stalingrad and the Caucasus Mountains(for oil because they ran out of oil), he held out in the city of Stalingrad, then surrounded Nazi Germanyball's forces, trapping them.
Nazi Germanyball was defeated at the battle of Kursk, afterwards being thrown back, with Sovietball liberating Minskball, Kievball, Warsawball, and reaching Berlinball by February 1945, when Nazi Germanyball committed suicide. Not shortly after, Sovietball declared war on Japanese Empireball, who surrendered to USAball in September 1945, ending the war.
Cold War (1947-1991)
After World War II, Sovietball installed communist governments in many of the Eastern European countryballs they had liberated, such as PR Hungaryball, SR Romaniaball, and PR Polandball. The part of Nazi Germanyball's clay they had occupied was given to their adoptive son East Germanyball, in 1949, and an iron curtain descended across Europe, beginning the Cold War.
Sovietball's foe - NATOball was created, so Soviet made the Warsaw Pactball in response. In 1950, Sovietball helped North Koreaball in the Korean War, then put down rebellions by East Germanyball and Hungaryball. Later USAball lost a proxy war to North Vietnamball in 1975.
In 1957 he sent Sputnik I into space, starting the Space Race between themselves and USAball, sending himselff (Yuri) into space in 1961, but lost being first into moon when USAball got there in 1969.
In 1968 Sovietball started a nuclear power program in Kazakh SSRbrick clay, by spying on USAball. This caused some problems with USAball in 1962 when Sovietball placed nuclear missiles on the newly-communist Cubaball's clay, leading to the Cuban missile crisis. However, in 1986 the Chernobylball disaster made Sovietball more cautious of this destructive technology.
By 1989, Sovietball's economy could no longer function properly and started to fracture, and he wae forced to withdraw from Afganistanball's clay. In 1989 their Warsaw Pactball members started to leave. In 1990 Lithuaniaball was the first to succeed and so did the other Baltic states. In 1991 Russiaball (Yeltsin) also decided to abandon communism ways and staged a coup. The Soviet Union ultimately collapsed the same year,releasing all other states.
After removing the Soviet icon, Russiaball first behaved more lightly. But after the war in Chechnyaball, Russiaball pulled themself together and started to build a new life.
In 2014, Russiaball returned their son - Crimeaball - to their clay, despite the fact that the almost rest of the world was against it.
Russia celebrated his 28th birthday on December 25, 2019 (Christmas of 2019).
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- Algeriaball - Best North African Friend, He supports me on Assad and Buys a lot of my weapons.
- Angolaball - Another friend since Soviet Times, I helped him out during his multiple personality disorder
- Armeniaball - A loyal friend in the Caucasus region (perhaps only friend there really)
- Belarusball - The best friend and little sister. Love her ♥ so much. Ты хочешь на мне жениться She is jealous of me!!!! THANK YOU FOR HOSTING THE PARADE FOR ME!!!
- Beninball - One of my good african friend.Friends since soviet
- Brazilball - Well, they are a part of BRICS, add vodka in their cocktails, and hate the German devil, so why not? but Unfortunately he wants to remove my friend, Venezuelaball
- Burundiball - Anti-Imperialist African Friend who support me on Crimea and Syria.
- Bulgariaball - Brother and one of my best friends. Even if Bulgariaball is in NATO and EU. But this makes him confused.
- Cambodiaball - Good friend of Chinaball and is also really friendly with me, we are doing a lot of economic projects together and thank you for voting against the Crimea Resolutions.
- Chinaball - Best friend. Both Can Into Remove Capitalist Pigs!!!! Congratulation on having President Xi for Life. 习近平万岁! EXCELLENT MILITARY DEMONSTRATION IN VOSTOK 2018! IT SHOWS THOSE BASTARDS THAT THE FAR EAST ISNT JUST CONTROLLED BY ME! Sorry Huawei is being bugged by USA
and the coronaviruses. We will win against the Wuhan virus
- Comorosball - Little Islamic islands friend
- Croatiaball - Slavic cousin with magnificent beaches You lost to France but still played hard enough to beat me. Very good friends actually.
- Cubaball - I'm sorry about the loss of Fidel Castro, hope we can be true buddies in the future. Both supporting Venezuela
- Eastern Orthodoxy - State religion of the future Holy Russian Empire, and bulwark against the German devil (forget the atheist Soviet era, it never worked. Besides Nazi version of German Devil was removed, because Soviet people belived in бог).
- Egyptball - Recently insane, relationships since
I helpings him to remove kosher when I was of USSRlong time of both helpings each other out, always of visiting Egyptball in vacation, she is makings me room in his new canal, of supporting christianity in there helped him in his canal war. He also supports me on Syriaball and his government is similar his, of likings him and He is also giving me military bases and intends to help me to be a gateway to Libyaball, cause he was independent and anti-imperialist policy earned him enthusiastic support from the Communist government of the USSR.
- Eritreaball - Although he is crazy, he is one of my closest African allies and we get along and I give him economic support, I'll make sure my buddy, Sudanball keeps an eye on you just in case.
- Eurasian Unionball - great Russia's son. this is better than that sissies club.
- Fijiball - Great Pacific Friend (If not one of the only in the region), he hates USAball, Australiaball, and New Zealandball, but still has ties with UKball. Still, he also buys my weapons.
- Gaddafiball - Rest in Peace my Good Friend.
- Guinea-Bissauball - We gib him Weapons, also friend during Soviet Times
- Hezbollahball - We are kicking ass in Syriaball and removing Fake Syria and Goat Fuckers
- Hungaryball - despite being in NATOball and EUball, he doesn't hate me and we generally get along. We of having two common enemies.
Whenever you leave the EU, join my club, plox!
- Indiaball - I gib him lots of weapons so he likes me and I like him. Pays lots of monies. Also both in BRICS and SCO together. But y yuo no remob Kebab ? DEFEND CURRY!
- Indonesiaball - COMRADE! We are good friends since the old days. We are of sharing weapons and military equipment. Thanks for the generous friendship and sorry for my plane's crash in 2012. Both can into Muslims. I promise to keep commies off your land, brother! Spasibo...
- Iranball - I know in the 19th century we were enemies and also times of Russia, but now we are of best friends and I like him, he also me. We are Strategic Allies, who knows who this works. Your capital Tehran is very big and cultureful I like it. Xaxaxa and We have problems with this pig and his NATO.
- Iraqball - Helped him against ISIS, and he is also a good friend.
- Jamaicaball - A good friend. I have cooperated with him and my Foreign Minister visited him.
- Kazakhbrick - My brother. Kazakhbrick sometimes lets me use his lawn for launching rockets into space and into anybody he wants removed. Is of good Kebab. Nah bro I aint mad you are friends with this guy. As long as your economy is strong
- Kyrgyzstanball - Good kebab friend, we can into CSTOball.
- Laosball - Good friend and one of the BEST buddies.
- Luhanskball and Donetskball - I'll protect you from Nazi!
- North Macedoniaball - Thanks for making me your friend!
- Malaysiaball - I helped him into space and I sell him arms and weapons so we are cool.
- Mongoliaball - Good Trading Partner and Friend but 1237 NEVER FORGET!!!!!!!
- Myanmarball - Chinaball and I support you on the Rohingyas and He buys a lot of my Weapons.
- Nauruball - Little island friend who recognizes Abkhaziaball and South Ossetiaball. For that, I'll give yuo some monies on aids.
- Nicaraguaball - anti imperialist friend in Central America
- North Koreaball - Please shut up about your nukes or I will remove you with my mightiness. Wait, you removed nukes? Oh...ok then. You also recognize Crimeaball as mine and support me on Syriaball. WAIT YOU DIDN’T REMOVE NUKES EVERYONE HIDE WORLD WAR 3 EMINENT!
I WANTED TO START IT!
- Pakistanball - In the soviet we used to not really get along but nowadays you buys lot of weapon from me and i understand that have problem with Indiaball at least I'm fine with you and you also have problem with this idiot
- Palestineball - His president was a KGB member in 1984. And this guy is an anti western. I usually help him against that fucking Zionist.
- Philippinesball - Duterte is best president! Finally buying military weapons from me instead from Burger. Also, June 12 is me and little comrade's special day! Russia day for me and independence for him.
- SCOball - Closest thing so far to a military alliance between me and Chinaball.
- Serbiaball - You're a good brother! But please, stop getting pushed into NATO! I know that America tries to push you, but don't worry I'm here to help you! Soon you'll get rid of that Burger soon!
- Slovakiaball - like Hungaryball, he can into NATOball and EUball but we still generally get along
- Somalilandball - Unofficial friend, I may gib recognition because I may get military base
- South Africaball - Can into BRICSbricks and also great trading partner and friend
- South Koreaball - We are now good friends thanks to the President Moon Jae-in. Still burger puppet
Be vodka puppet!Please watch over your brother... *shakes with fear*
- South Ossetiaball And Abkhaziaball - I will Protect you from Georgiaball. You can get independence!
AND BE MINE!
- South Sudanball - Anti Imperialist African Friend
because I’m always watching him...
- Sudanball - One of my best friends in Africa, he recently visited me and is offering me a military base, thanks for supporting me on Crimeaball
- Syriaball - Will of helping him get through his NATO-engineered civil war on top. I will defend you from
PindosiyaAmerica and NATOball. Also will remove that evil ISIS rat, and that evil fake parasite
- Tajikistanball - Indo-Aryan Military Ally.
- Transnistriaball - I will protect you from Moldovaball.
- Turkmenistanball - While he is not a military ally since he is neutral, the two of us generally get along and he is an oil supplier.
- Thailandball - My best destination lot of russian tourist like to go thailand and we are friend since 18th century
- Ugandaball - Good African Friend a̶n̶d̶ ̶W̶e̶ ̶h̶u̶n̶t̶ ̶H̶o̶m̶o̶s̶e̶x̶u̶a̶l̶s̶ ̶T̶o̶g̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶!
- Uzbekistanball - Turkic Friend and Good Kebab. He was wary of recognizing but now he does and we restarted Military Cooperation
- Venezuelaball - Great South American Friend who recognizes Crimea, Abkhazia and South Ossetia. Hating the Pig, he reminds me of me back in the day, and all the fun times I had with Ukraine.
- Vietnamball - Good friend but stop calling me Soviet, am Russia. Soviet is of my past self.
Soon Soviet will return, Comrade...but is of being burger puppet and keeapitalist pig.
- Western Saharaball - Unofficial Friend thanks for recognizing South Ossetiaball
- Zimbabweball - Anti Imperialist African friend, also friend since soviet Times, probably my closest African Friend along with Sudanball
- North Korea -BUDDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Albaniaball - Fool, who picks on my good friendski Serbiaball
and let me don't worry I will anschluss you..KOSOVO IS SERBIA YOU SUKA BLYAT! But sometime remember the old friendship I had with this guy... Even made a movie about his hero Skanderbeg in Soviet time. Our trade is good, relations starting to improve, he holds a significant Eastern Orthodox minority and hating Stinky Kebab and Abomination like me... Maybe we can be good friends if you fix things with Serbia.
- Australiaball - American Puppet pig in Pacific, he kicked out my diplomats and supports Ukraineball and stay away from Chinaball but my leader likes his koalas.
- USSRball - I miss my great and wise father along with the good old days.
One day he will return! xaxaxaxaxa.But I hate your anti religious campaign/persecution, especially against Orthodoxy(My main religion).
- Austriaball - Germanyball little brother but he has good relations wit me and he kind with me aswell.
- Azerbaijanball - Me and him have a mixed relations... Because of Armeniaball but my people visit his capital and we do trade and we give 12 points to each other in Eurovision so I have my eye on him
- Bosnia and Herzegovinaball - Relations are mixed because he contains Srpska Republicball who love me but the other part of him is not that fond of me
- Czechiaball - Yuor beer is execting, do yuo want vodka? But sadly, he can into NATOball.
- Denmarkball - My good Viking friend. I helped him in some of his wars.
You are a good comrade unlike your useless irrelevant brothers.
- Ethiopiaball - He doesn't like that I am friends with Eritreaball and that I supported his communist side, but we are still willing to cooperate and he is orthodox and he doesn't take positions that are Anti Russian.
- Finlandball - Used to be my clay after I anschluss him from Sweden. He is also my second worst fear. At least he can into vodka. Renegade province. BUT I AM NOT GIVING KARELIA BACK! (Because you stole my vodka, Suka Blyat!) But now we can into vodka buddies and we go to suanas together (not being gay or anything).
- Greeceball - A Good Orthodox friend. You and me are now okay and I like you because we are now restoring cooperation.
- Irelandball- Well, He won against me with 35-0, But he is also in EUball but he refused to join NATOball before which is good, So I'm fine with him.
- Italyball - Good trade partner! But in NATOball and German devil alliance. Speaking of Germany, me and Italy both hate him. So we're fine.
- Japanball - Good Friend and anime lover, BUT WHY YOU WANT YOUR LAND BACK? YOU'RE MY EORTHLY OPPONEMENT!! I WILL ANSCHLUSS YUO!! Your products still look great, but still, yuo will never get Kuril or Sakhalin! I still hate him for WW2, but he is still of good bud.
- Latviaball - Most recent and new friend since October of 2018. I let the pro-Russian party and now harmony winning election. Both can into potato! But I have more potato XAXAXAXAXA! Ok I'm kidding. But she is in EU and NATO. Although we're good now.
- Libyaball - Burger absolutely raped you, but now that I saved my buddy Syriaball, I'm going to try to stabilize you now.
- Mexicoball - We both are good friends and he buys my weapons. He also don’t like America as well.
- Moldovaball - We get along and we both were together during Soviet Union time. Hope to be "close" brothers you know what I mean. I understand why your neutral on me. I won't blame you. Ukraine is our common enemy. I know if you put me as a friend, this Ukraine will crush you so that is why I don't want to put you on friend or Ukraine will crush you as well. We are secretly friends.
- Montenegroball - We were really friendly but he dumped me for NATOball and sanctioned me
- Moroccoball - Good relations but he supports the enemies of my allies and I and friendlier with Algeriaball.
- New Zealandball- American puppet at least you are fine with me and i don't have problem with you.
- Pakistanball - Relations are starting to improve but don't you dare remove Curry and stop funding terrorists, but we can into SCOball.
- Papua New Guineaball - Potential new pacific friend, I deployed Warship to his place.
- Polandball - Happy 100th anniversary lol...... What is wrong with you?! WHY DID YOU ARREST HUAWEI EXECUTIVE?!! Oh China is calling me to anchluss you? With pleasure (Turns into Communist Ball and begins to gobble Poland up!) well he invented my favorite drink: Vodka.
- Portugalball -He is one my good european friends.We were friend long time ago since 18th century but you join NATOball and Fourth reich and you also ave problem about debt.Some how our language kinda similar sound Why does Portuguese sound like Russian?.
- Qatarball - We have a good relationships , Like Iranball and hate Saudi Arabiaball but stop funding groups in Syriaball.
- Romaniaball - Moldova is of my rightful clay, same with the rest of Bessarabia! Stop blaming me on everything, u american lovers. But,at least you didn't recognise Kosovoball as independent and we are relatively good trading partners. Stop loving MerkelReich, because he doesn't let you have EURO currency like your Brother which is drowned in debt but still has EUROS. We can into playing CS:GO! DA BLYAT! A complicated love/hate relationship.
- Switzerlandball- Also This guy little brother but he hate EUball.We have a good relations since 17th century because one of his soldier come to serve My grandpa.
- Turkeyball - Good relationships nowadays (despite some incidents in the past) and partners in Astana talks alongside Iranball. Delivering him anti-air missile systems and will probably sell him aircraft as well. We both have problems with the West btw but seriously stop attacking Syriaball.
- Pindosiya - We've had a very complicated relationship ever since the Soviet times.
WHY DID YOU BREAK THE AMERICAN SOVIET NUCLEAR DEAL?!!!!Somewhat arch-nemesis and rival in both politics and sports, especially hockey. My president isn't that fine with him. He also liked my imperialist form. So yeah, he mostly sucks. SO YOU DECIDED TO BAN HUAWEI IN ITS CRISIS?! AND YOU STILL SUPPORT CRIMEA AS UKRAINE'S?! FINE, YOU ASKED FOR IT! I WILL NUKE YOU I WILL KILL YOU I WILL DESTROY NEW YORK AND WASHINGTON DC AND ALL YOUR PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE ME! ALSO GIB ALASKA BACK! IT IS RIGHTFUL RUSSIAN CLAY! ALSO REMOVE CAPITALISM IN YOUR COUNTRY! YOU AND ENTIRE NATO WILL FALL TO OUR GLORIOUS MOTHERLAND, I SWEAR! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF ARROGANT AND FILTHY BURGER SCUM!But anything other than all I said and we're OK, well for now. Haven't dropped any nukes on anyone since the Cold War, and we fight against the virus terrorists together even though he created them. We both are of stronk countries and we also we have embassies in each other's capitals, which is the main thing, and our diplomats are working hard to make our relations improve. So I guess I'll put him on neutral. But we're still watching each other, just in case. IF YOU DO ANYTHING THAT I DON'T LIKE EVER AGAIN, I'LL MAKE YOU MY ENEMY AGAIN!!! Also Stop attacking Iran now!!!!!!!
- Vaticanball - Both can into Catholic. And Putin and Pope Francis like each other. Very good friends actually.
- Covid-19 (AKA Black Death 2.0):СУКA БЛЯTЬ!!! SILLY YOU! I WILL NUKE ALL OF WUHAN JUST TO DESTROY YOUR VIRUS! YOU THINK YOU CAN CHALLENGE EUROPE AND THE WORLD?! I WILL SAVE THE WORLD FROM YOU AND HELP CHINA DESTROY YOU! I AM THE TRUE HERO OF THE UNIVERSE!!!! YOU MADE ME SACRIFICE THE PARADE FOR YOU!!! (GETS MAD)
- Russian Empireball - YUO OF THE WORST! WHY DID YOU SELL ALASKA AND MAKE FRIEND WITH THE EVIL YANKEE EMPIRE? I am glad that my Dad finally killed you for good in 1917 motherfucker!!!!!!!
- Alaskaball -
СУКA БЛЯTЬ!!! Я ТЕБЯ НЕНАВИЖУ!!! Я НЕ ДОЛЖЕН УСТАНАВЛИВАТЬ ВАС В ПЕРВОМ МЕСТЕ!!! Я ЗНАЛ, ЧТО ВЫ БУДЕТЕ ЗАКРЫТЬ МЕНЯ НАД ТАКИМ ОБРАЗОМ, Я НЕНАВИЖУ ВАС НАВСЕГДА И НАВСЕГДА!!! ВЫ АМЕРИКА, ЧТО, Я НЕНАВИЖУ ВАС ОБА!!! ОДИН ДЕНЬ ТЫ БУДЕШЬ ИЗВЛЕЧЕН, ЧТО ТЫ ВСЕГДА ОСТАВИЛ МЕНЯ!!! УДАЛИТЕ БУРГЕР, ТЫ ФЕЙС-РУССКИЙ, ТЫ БЛАГОПРИЯТНЫЙ НЕМНОГО!!! МАТЬ РОССИИ СТРОНГ!!!WHY WON'T YOU COME HOME?!?!?!?! I'M SO SORRY, I SHOULDN'T HAVE EVER CALLED YUO A USELESS PILE OF DIRT, NOW I REGRET LOSING YUO!!! COME BACK LITTLE ALASKA, CAN WE INTO FORGIVENESS AND REUNITED FAMILY AGAIN??? I MISS YUO SO MUCH!!!
- Hong Kongball - WHY YUO CALL ME A CAPITARIST?!!!!!!! YUO IMPERARIST PIGU!!!! REMOVE FREEDOM!!! REMOVE DEMOCRACY!!! REMOVE ENGRISH!!!!! КИТАЙ СИЛЬНЫЙ!!!!
- Boliviaball - Rip Anti Imperialist in the western Hemisphere. now He's a Burger puppet.
- Canadaball - Oh now your threatening me over Huawei now by vowing to protect Poland? You will lose to me. Bringing USA to this? Just so you know China is right beside me? NOBODY STOPS ME YOU BLYAT FROM INVADING POLAND! I swear! его хрен обманешь!! STFU ABOUT PRAISIING THE UKRAINIAN 5th ANNIVERSARY OF EUROMAIDAN FREELAND! I WILL RAPE YOUR UKRAINIAN MINORITY! ALSO FUCK YOU FOR BRINGING VOLODYMR ZELENSKIY TO TORONTO! I WILL BREAK YOU INTO PULP YOU UKRAINIAN BITCH! I HEARD EVERYTHING ABOUT TRUDEAU PROMISING A UNITED FRONT! YOU UKRAINIAN PUPPET! (GRABS CANADA AND CHOKES HIM)
- Gay and Lesbian Kingdomball - Abomination! Remove!!!!
- Georgiaball - I defeated you easily. So gib Abkhaziaball and South Ossetiaball their independence!
And let me anschluss them!
- Germanyball, The Sissies Club and NATOball -
Антихристы. Зло, родители которых - [цензура] Вавилона и Сатана. Злейшие враги славянской расы. УБРАТЬ ТЕВТОНСКИХ РЫЦАРЕЙ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ПРУССИЮ, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ АНШЛЮС, УНИЧТОЖИТЬ НАЦИЗМ! УНИЧТОЖИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ, ИХ КЕБАБСКИХ СОЮЗНИКОВ И МАЛЕНЬКИХ ЧЕРТЕЙ МАРОККО, АМЕРИКИ И ИЗРАИЛЯ! РУССКАЯ СЛАВЯНСКАЯ ЗИМА И ПРАВОСЛАВИЕ СТРОНГ, СТАЛИНГРАДСКАЯ БИТВА — ЛУЧШИЙ ДЕНЬ В МОЕЙ ЖИЗНИ! АЛЕКСАНДР НЕВСКИЙ ДОЛЖЕН ВЕРНУТЬСЯ, ЧТОБЫ ОТПРАВИТЬ ГЕЙФРИЦЕВ И КЕБАБОВ ОБРАТНО В АД!! ХВАТИТ ОБИЖАТЬ ВЕЛИКОБРИТАНИЮ! МАТУШКА РОССИЯ СТРОНГ!!!Best drinking buddies ever especially we can bully Pooland. Now we have a good relationship. NO OIL FOR YOU!!!!
- Khokhlandball - CRIMEA IS MINE!!! DO YA HEAR ME?!?! MINE!!!!!!! Although we tried to be friends, you still murder Zakharchenko, send 24 Ukrainian soldiers into Russian territorial waters WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND BLAME ME FOR IT, AND ACCUSE AND BLAME ME WITH NATO FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lets just try to be friends okay? DON'T FLIPPING DARE TO HELP POLAND
- ISISball -
СЛУШAЙ СЮДА СУКА ПЕРЕСТАНЬ ТРОГАТЬ СИРИЮ, ТЫ НЕ НА ТУ СТРАНУ НАПАЛ!Since NATO pigskis aren't doing anything to stop this suka rat it's up to Mother Russia to save the day. Leave Syria and Iraq alone! AND HE TRIED TO ATTACK ME ON MY WORLD CUP 2018??? REMOVE JIHAD!!
- Israelcube - I support Iranball, Iraqball, Syriaball, Sudanball and those who hate you. stupid burger puppet. We have had hostile relations since the Soviet Times. I recognized you initially and then you revealed your self to be burger pig dogs so since then I supports the arabs. Why would we be friends with all those I'm supporting. You also shot down Syrian planes.
- Kosovoball - Never heard of it but you are Serbia.
- Nazi Germanyball - Tried to exterminate a lot of my people and wanted to push my remaining peoples to Asia but he failed. Ha! Thank vodka you're dead! It was fun adopting your son East Germanyball after WWII! Also, 75-80% of German casualties in World War 2 were inflicted by my soldiers. XAXAXAXAXA!
- Plutoball - STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW I AM OF BIGGER THAN YUO!! XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA NO WONDER YOU CANNOT INTO BEINGS OF PLANET! MAYBE I CAN!
- Saudi Arabiaball - Whabbist Freak thinks I'm his friend, he is a fool, Syriaball and Iranball are my true friends. I like how I removed you on world cup this year.
- Somaliaball - you are so dead if you mess with me. And stop supporting Khokhlandball on Crimeaball.
- Lithuaniaball and Estoniaball -
American puppet pigs!Always can into independence! At least can into vodka.
- Swedenball - HOW DARE YOU HUMILIATE A CHINESE TOURIST IN STOCKHOLM! YOU WILL BE DEALT BY ME AND THE GLORIOUS ZHONGGUO!
- Taiwanball - DISGUSTING HOMOSEXUAL PUNK DETECTED! FIRST ASIAN REGION TO HOMOSEX MARRIAGE?!! (THROWS UP)
- UKball - You Theresa May. Yes Im talking to you Mrs. May are the worst leader of the British nation you imperialist dipwad.
- Idahoball - My Moscow is better. Your town steals name of my capital city.
- Palauball - ARE YOU CRAZY???
- New Yorkball and Texasball - Who are these American States?
STAY AWAY FROM MY SON, AMERICAN PIGS!!!!!!
- Liberiaball - Shut up, dumbass.
- Bhutanball - The monk, who now is western puppet.
- Adygeaball - Huh? Some Caucasian republic, right? I should merge you with Krasnodar.
- Altaiball - these are the mountains I am talking about! Not some crappy Alps.
The mountains are also better then NepalRawr's.
- Bashkortostanball - Go play with your brat Tatarstanball. I know yuo love him.
- Buryatiaball - Ah, my lovely natural Baikal
- Chechnyaball - Grozny has the largest mosque 🕌 in Europe!!!!
- Chuvashiaball - My own beer brewery, xaxaxa, let's get waisted, druzya!
- Crimeaball - It was a democratic referendum and Crimea is Russian, that's it! End of discussion!
XAXAXA UKRAINE? MYKRAINE! STUPID WESTERN PIGDOGS CANNOT ACKNOWLEDGE FACTS, IT WAS NOT OF ANNEXATION! TOTALLY NO POLITICS AND SHOWCASE OF POWER! ONLY OPRESSED RUSSIAN MINORITY!
- Dagestanball - Khabib Nurmagmedov was born here!!!! Go Khabib!!!!!!!
- Ingushetiaball - Another Caucasian republic. A small place, though.
- Kabardino-Balkariaball - Ah, the mountains...
- Kalmykiaball - Calm, buddhist place, love to visit for meditation from my bustling city of Moscow.
- Karachay-Cherkessiaball - A caucasian that has Molybdenum, whatever that is.
- Kareliaball - My Finnistan; gorgeous nature.
- Khakassiaball - Siberian republic. Good in ore mining and loves its megaliths.
although i use them only for luxury
- Komiball - Why did you choose such a difficult name for your capital?! Syk-syktyv-syktyvak-syktyvark... Ah screw it! And why do you think that 'ö' is the superior letter? German dots are the most inferior!
I like him because of his name Komi, like Commie! He truly miss my good old past...
- Mari Elball - Produces all kinds of machines and can work nicely with metals. Every time I say "Yoshkar-Ola" Mario fans get excited, I wonder why...
- Mordoviaball - Yeah, I need those chemicals to do warings, make more.
- North Ossetia–Alaniaball - Soon... soon I will unite you with South Ossetia! Georgia, you have nothing against this, right? XAXAXAXA
- Tatarstanball - My industrial republic! Still a bit grumpy about the Golden Horde.
- Tuvaball - I know that you are like Mongolia.
- Udmurtiaball - Oooh! Redheads!
- Yakutiaball - The largest subnational gov. body ever, even my children are largest in the world, xaxaxa! And my coldest region so far. Canada and Norway are nowhere close to me in the freezing departament, xa! Even cows wear bra there to keep warm. You make papa proud!
- Altaiball - Wait, didn't I mention you already? Ah, that was the republic. Barnauuuul!
- Kamchatkaball - The best caviar in the world! Uh oh. Volcano warning
- Khabarovskball - Far East - best East!
- Krasnodarball - My summer tourism place & Sochi olympics!
- Krasnoyarskball - Not to be confused with Krasnodar, this is Siberia. Does a lot of refining and hydropower.
- Permball - Gib more oil please.
- Primorskyball - End stop of the Trans-Siberian railway and home to the port of Vladivostok. We get our anime shipped through there. Sometimes a Sinophile, I'd say.
- Stavropolball - Agriculture is beautiful, isn't it? Sanctions against western pigdog food will only help us! Help the environment - eat locally!
- Zabaykalskyball - Gib Uranium, I want more warheads!
- Amurball - Soon I will be launching spaceships from there! Also, keep a close eye on Kitai, oblast.
- Arkhangelskball - Was my most important port until I kicked the Ottoman ass and got access to the Black Sea. He an angel. (Idk why)
- Astrakhanball - Glorious Volga delta and the best soil in the world!
- Belgorodball - Iron and chernozem!
- Bryanskball - Unknown
- Chelyabinskball - He loves meteors!
- Irkutskball - Baikal oblast. Sometimes Irkutsk is called the "Paris of Siberia", weird.
- Ivanovoball - He sews me vests.
- Kaliningradball - My cute exclave,
stolerightfully took him from Nazi as a compensation for the atrocities. Home to the baltic fleet. Xaxa Polsha and Lithuania cannot into.
- Kalugaball - A European oblast that wasn't destroyed by Nazis, at least I have some nice Grandfather's architecture left. And thanks for discoveries in the field of Cosmonautics.
- Kemerovoball - Just some Siberian guy who can't into extreme coldness. Recently they had a mall fire.
- Kirovball - Some call him Vyatka. His old name anyways; I could care less.
- Kostromaball - Unknown
- Kurganball - All I know is the Kurgan Hypothesis from Samara. Not quite related to him though.
- Kurskball - Wow! My compass is going crazy! What kind of magnetic shit is going on, Kursk?
- Leningradball (Oblast) - The begining of my breathtaking cultutal city!
- Lipetskball - Unknown
- Magadanball -
Я уеду в Магадан!
- Moscow Oblastball - This is what I call "Podmoskovie". Protect my marvelous city, don't let invaders inside!
- Murmanskball - Hey, stop chatting with Norway there! Back to work! And no Sami language!
- Nizhny Novgorodball - The Volga namestealer to the guy below.
- Novgorodball - Undefeatable great grandfather of Russia.
- Novosibirskball - Home to the largest Siberian city.
- Omskball -
Place of evil!
- Orenburgball - Where Europe meets Asia.
- Oryolball -
Хороший парень, но не орёл.
- Penzaball - xaxaxa, Jesusface.
- Pskovball - "I'm from Pskov, a stranger, comes to see the speaking dog", also why do you not have an official flag?
- Rostovball - Bozhe moi! So many Hochlanders!
- Ryazanball - Bread 'n' wheat
- Sakhalinball - An island oblast. Watch carefully the Kuril islands, otherwise Japan will steal them!
- Samaraball - Are you that U.S territory?
- Saratovball - Shhh, no one is supposed to know that I have bombs everywhere around you. What do you mean that everyone knows it?!
- Smolenskball - This guy likes my sister's culture more than my own. Fuck you, kid.
- Sverdlovskball - Murderer of the Royal Romanov Family. Ekaterinburg best burg though.
- Tambovball - Unknown
- Tomskball - eww, swampy forest oblast.
- Tulaball - Weapon factory. As detailed as jewelry.
- Tverball - Oh that neverending medieval Tver and Moscow rivalry (Xa, Moscow ultimately won)
- Tyumenball - Oil and gas controller, Khanty's and Yamal's mother.
- Volgogradball - Fought the vicious Nazi and this resulted in our Victory!
- Vologdaball - the best butter on the world!!!
- Voronezhball - Sektor Gaza!
- Yaroslavlball - Are you Yugoslaviaball?
- Moscowball - The most spectacular capital in the whole world! This is what a real capital city looks like. He is technically one of my children that just loves... more capitalist pigs? What? How could yuo!? You know New Yorkball and Texasball won't of lovings yuo back, blyat.
Of still glorious.
- Saint Petersburgball - My glorious gem! Often called the Northern Capital and the cultural centre of Russia! Though, I sometimes of forget about him, of never has any interaction with of me.
- Sevastopolball - Shh, Hochland, this is my port now, XAXAXA.
Gazprom's oil fields
- Chukotkaball - Far eastern okrug, I don't contact with him a lot. Because we are too far to meeting together. Better leave him alone to his Chukchi business. Only okrug who goes on his own.
- Nenetsball - Tell other subjects the secret of having a high GDP per capita.
- Khanty–Mansiball - Oil okrug! But Khanty, you know that you should give away all oilmoney to grandpa and aunt Moscow, no complains!
- Yamalo-Nenetsball - Gas okrug! Gazprom's playground.
- Jewish Autonomous Oblastcube - Oy vey, you say? Some random jews on my clay. Wait a minute... HOMOSEX DETECTED!