The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia.
— Otto von Bismarck

Russian Empireball is a historical countryball. His clay once stretched from Europe all the way across Asia into North America. He was killed by his son Russian SFSR (old)-icon Russian SFSRball (aka Soviet-icon Sovietball) in 1917.

In some comics, especially those made in Russia, Russian Empireball is instead a Russian Empire rectangle (or rather Rustangle), similar to ReichTime Reichtangle in appearance and personality. However, the traditional ball design is accepted everywhere else.


Conquest and Expansion(1721-1801)

Russian Empireball was born in 1721, and replaced his father Tsardom of Russia-icon Tsardom of Russiaball that year. He descended from Slavs-icon Slavsball and Mongol Empire-icon Mongoloid 1 balls, and by 1721, already had a vast domain stretching from the Baltic Sea to Central Siberia.

In 1739, Russian Empireball and Austrian Empireball tried to gangbang Ottoman Empireball in the Austro-Russian-Turkish War but he somehow beat them both and the war became inconclusive.

In the 1760s, Imperial Russiaball explored and conqured the Siberian and Central Asia plains and steppes with little difficulty or resistance from the local 1-icon 1ball tribes that lived there. He even went across the Bering Straits into Alaska and North America.

In 1774, the Russian empireball took Crimea. Up until 1792 at the treaty of Jassy, the Russians completely beat up the Ottomans.

In 1772, 1790, and 1795 Russiaball participated in Poland-Lithuania-icon all three partitions of Polandball and Lithuaniaball's clay with Kingdom of Prussia-icon Kingdom of Prussiaball and Austria-icon Austriaball. Poland-Lithuania-icon Polandball's 1791 uprising against him was crushed with ease, and the Kingdom of France-icon French Revolution saw Russiaball from the Armed League of Neutrality of the North in 1799, in favour of trade with France-icon Franceball rather than UK-icon UKball. The League was disbanded in 1801.

European Affairs (1801-1881)

In 1806, France-icon Franceball had invaded Poland-icon Polandball's former clay, and after a disagreement with Imperial Russiaball, who had just conquered Finland-icon Finlandball in 1809, he invaded Russiaball's clay in 1812, and reached Moscow-icon Moscow, but Russiaball retreated and burned it to the ground, with a scorched earth strategy. Russiaball blocked his route home at Maloyaroslavets, and forced him into conflict at Borodino. Franceball retreated safely, but by 1814, Russiaball was in the Coalition that was advancing upon Paris. In 1815, after Kingdom of France-icon Franceball's nationalistic fever calmed down, Russiaball was included in the Concert of Europe, and became interested in the Balkans.

In 1853, after falling out with Ottoman-icon Ottoman Empireball, Imperial Russiaball threatened an invasion of Constantinople, which alarmed UK-icon UKball and France-icon Franceball, who sent their armies to the Crimea to help Ottoman-icon Ottoman Empireball. UK-icon UKball was mortally wounded at Sevastopol-icon Sevastopol, but the fortress fell, and Russiaball agreed to disarm the Black Sea in 1856. Meanwhile, Russiaball sold his son Russian America-icon Russian North Americaball to USA-icon USAball, who renamed him Alaska-icon Alaskaball, in 1867, something he would come to regret.

But Russiaball had not finished with the Balkans. In 1877 the Russo-Turkish war broke out, and in 1878 UK-icon UKball and France-icon Franceball stepped in again, drawing up new borders for the clay there. Ottoman-icon Ottoman Empireball was forced to retreat from Eastern Europe, and United Principalities-icon Romaniaball and Bulgariaball were born. In 1881, Russiaball survived an assassination attempt that would change his life. He also attempted to abolish serfdom at this point.

Russia in Revolution and Collapse (1881-1917)

In 1883, Russiaball got a new flag, and started to expand south-east into Qing-icon Qing Chinaball's clay, taking Manchuriaball and Mongolia-icon Mongolia in the 1890s. Russiaball started to build the Trans-Siberian Railroad, and also attempted to reform himself with the Indusrial Revolution. By 1900, Russiaball was still largely agricultural and undeveloped, despite having vast reserves of untapped resources. He was not too sucessful in imperialism, despite being in the Boxer expeditionary force of 1900, he lost the Russo-Japanese War in 1904-05, after having his fleets sunk at Port Arthur, and Tshuima Straits. His accidental son Soviet-icon Sovietball, born in 1903 as Bolshevikball, used these failures as excuses to lampoon his father.

In 1905, Russiaball had a partial breakdown, which resulted in him cutting himself, and also forming a new parliament (the Duma) which had little power. In 1907 he joined the Triple Entente with UK-icon UKball and France-icon Franceball, against the expanding German Empire-icon Imperial Germanyball, and 1912 saw him attempt to interfere with the Balkan Wars, in favour of his Slavic brothers. However, in 1914 the Great War saw the strong but unprepared Russiaball suffer many wounds at the Masurian Lakes and Tannenburg battles. He had more luck against the incompetent Austria-Hungary-icon Austria-Hungaryball, invading his Galicia clay, as well as Ottoman-icon Ottomanball trying to invade him in winter, and held the front at a heavy cost for two years, until something inside him snapped. In Feburary 1917, he had a personality change, resulting in him becoming a republican ball, but his son Bolshevikball was still fed up, and used his father's weak state to murder him and take his place in October 1917. He became Russian SFSR (old)-icon R.S.F.S.Rball that year, and later Soviet-icon Sovietball in 1922.



  • USA-icon USAball -  I sold Alaska to him. We were warm neutral, but still real good friends. Both served in numerous wars together, stopped the Russo-Japanese War, and more. We've had a down in 1903-1905 but even still, we are very good friends. I’m very sorry that my Soviet-icon Son and Russia-icon Grandson both hate you so much. Have a happy Memorial Day!
    • USA-icon - Yeah I do too buddy. Thank you for Alaska. R.I.P to you!
  • France-icon Franceball - Forced me into surrender on occasion. But was defeated by glorious Russia! Then we teamed up against the German Empire-icon German Empireball. BUT NEVER FORGET THAT WAR!
  • UK-icon UKball - Fought him in the Crimea with France-icon Franceball. Then we teamed up against the German Empire-icon German Empireball.
  • Armenia-icon Armeniaball - Kept a bit of his clay around as secret weapon against kebab. Presently the only clay Armeniaball has left.
  • Romania-icon Romaniaball, Bulgaria-icon Bulgariaball and Serbia-icon Serbiaball - I freed them from Ottoman-icon Ottoman Empireball.
  • Finland-icon Finlandball - My son who likes me for giving independence. Also, both remove tomato communist.
  • Alaska-icon Alaskaball - Also my son whom I'm sorry about for selling him. Good thing 'Merica protected him from tomato vodka.
  • Belarus-icon Belarusball - She is my cute daughter. After Poland-Lithuania-icon Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealthball finally died, I adapted her. She cried a lot when I was killed/murdered. I miss you too my sweet daughter!!!!!
  • Anticommunism-icon Anti-Communismball - I agree with you 100%. Please, don't forget what first happened here in 1917.
  • White Movement-icon White Movementball - Thank you for preserving my legacy and fighting against the Reds.


  • Ottoman-icon Ottoman Empireball - My rival, one which I usually defeated easily. I always wanted to anschluss Istanbul-icon his capital to restore Byzantine-icon Byzantineball.
  • Japanese-Empire-icon Empire of Japanball - Damn you, slit-eyes! 1905! Never Forget! Manchuria and especially Korea-Empire-icon Korea were rightfully mine!
  • German Empire-icon German Empireball - Fought him periodically, most notably in the Great War near the end of Russian Imperialball's and life.
  • Poland-Lithuania-icon The Poles - I ancshlussed him in 1795 with Austria and Prussia.
  • Switzerland-icon Switzerlandball - Stop gibbing Lenin refuge!!!
  • Communism-icon Communismball - Stop revolution!!!!!!! Stop revolting!!!!!!! Remove Vladimir Lenin!!!!!!! You're hampering our war effort!!!!!!!
  • Russian SFSR (old)-icon Russian SFSRball - Communist son who rebelled against me and later killed me in 1917 because I had starved him. 
  • Soviet-icon Soviet Unionball - False communist successor! Remove Lenin!! Remove Stalin!! Remove the Reds!
  • Russia-icon Russiaball - My Grandson. He is still like his Soviet-icon Father Sovietball. SO WHAT IF I'M FRIENDS WITH USA!!!!
    • Russia-icon Russiaball - AT LEAST I WASN'T OVERTHROWN DURING ONE OF WORST WARS IN HISTORY!!!!!! I’m glad that my good old Russian SFSR (old)-icon dad killed you for good motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!



Work-icon Related templates Language-icon
Finland-icon Perkele Republic of Finland Finland-icon

Aland-icon ÅlandballCenteralFinland-icon Central FinlandballCenteralOstrobothnia-icon Central OstrobothniaballKainuu-icon KainuuballKymenlaakso-icon KymenlaaksoballLapland-icon LaplandballNorth Karelia-icon North KareliaballNorthern Ostrobothnia-icon Northern OstrobothniaballNorthern Savonia-icon Northern SavoniaballOstrobothnia-icon OstrobothniaballPäijät-Häme-icon Päijät-HämeballPirkanmaa-icon PirkanmaaballSatakunta-icon SatakuntaballSouth Karelia-icon South KareliaballSouthern Ostrobothnia-icon Southern OstrobothniaballSouthern Savonia-icon Southern SavoniaballSouthwest Finland-icon Southwest FinlandballTavastia Proper-icon Tavastia ProperballUusimaa-icon Uusimaaball

Cities Helsinki-icon HelsinkiballMariehamn-icon Mariehamnball404-icon Poriball
Former entities 2-icon Migrants from East (Prehistoric Europeans)Sami-icon SamiballSweden-icon Swedish EmpireballRussian-Empire-icon Russian Empireball (Grand Duchy of Finland-icon Grand Duchy of Finlandball) • Finland-icon Kingdom of Finlandball