| “ | The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. | ” |
— Otto von Bismarck
|
Russian Empireball is a historical countryball. His clay once stretched from Europe all the way across Asia into North America. He was killed by his son 
Russian SFSRball (aka 
Sovietball) in 1917.
In some comics, especially those made in Russia, Russian Empireball is instead a Russian Empire rectangle (or rather Rustangle), similar to 
Reichtangle in appearance and personality. However, the traditional ball design is accepted everywhere else.
History
Conquest and Expansion(1721-1801)
Russian Empireball was born in 1721, and replaced his father 
Tsardom of Russiaball that year. He descended from 
Slavsball and 
Mongoloid 1 balls, and by 1721, already had a vast domain stretching from the Baltic Sea to Central Siberia.
In 1739, Russian Empireball and Austrian Empireball tried to gangbang Ottoman Empireball in the Austro-Russian-Turkish War but he somehow beat them both and the war became inconclusive.
In the 1760s, Imperial Russiaball explored and conqured the Siberian and Central Asia plains and steppes with little difficulty or resistance from the local 
1ball tribes that lived there. He even went across the Bering Straits into Alaska and North America.
In 1774, the Russian empireball took Crimea. Up until 1792 at the treaty of Jassy, the Russians completely beat up the Ottomans.
In 1772, 1790, and 1795 Russiaball participated in 
all three partitions of Polandball and Lithuaniaball's clay with 
Kingdom of Prussiaball and 
Austriaball. Polandball's 1791 uprising against him was crushed with ease, and the 
French Revolution saw Russiaball from the Armed League of Neutrality of the North in 1799, in favour of trade with 
Franceball rather than 
UKball. The League was disbanded in 1801.
European Affairs (1801-1881)
In 1806, Franceball had invaded 
Polandball's former clay, and after a disagreement with Imperial Russiaball, who had just conquered 
Finlandball in 1809, he invaded Russiaball's clay in 1812, and reached 
Moscow, but Russiaball retreated and burned it to the ground, with a scorched earth strategy. Russiaball blocked his route home at Maloyaroslavets, and forced him into conflict at Borodino. Franceball retreated safely, but by 1814, Russiaball was in the Coalition that was advancing upon Paris. In 1815, after Franceball's nationalistic fever calmed down, Russiaball was included in the Concert of Europe, and became interested in the Balkans.
In 1853, after falling out with 
Ottoman Empireball, Imperial Russiaball threatened an invasion of Constantinople, which alarmed UKball and Franceball, who sent their armies to the Crimea to help Ottoman Empireball. UKball was mortally wounded at 
Sevastopol, but the fortress fell, and Russiaball agreed to disarm the Black Sea in 1856. Meanwhile, Russiaball sold his son 
Russian North Americaball to 
USAball, who renamed him 
Alaskaball, in 1867, something he would come to regret.
But Russiaball had not finished with the Balkans. In 1877 the Russo-Turkish war broke out, and in 1878 UKball and Franceball stepped in again, drawing up new borders for the clay there. Ottoman Empireball was forced to retreat from Eastern Europe, and 
Romaniaball and Bulgariaball were born. In 1881, Russiaball survived an assassination attempt that would change his life. He also attempted to abolish serfdom at this point.
Russia in Revolution and Collapse (1881-1917)
In 1883, Russiaball got a new flag, and started to expand south-east into 
Qing Chinaball's clay, taking Manchuriaball and 
Mongolia in the 1890s. Russiaball started to build the Trans-Siberian Railroad, and also attempted to reform himself with the Indusrial Revolution. By 1900, Russiaball was still largely agricultural and undeveloped, despite having vast reserves of untapped resources. He was not too sucessful in imperialism, despite being in the Boxer expeditionary force of 1900, he lost the Russo-Japanese War in 1904-05, after having his fleets sunk at Port Arthur, and Tshuima Straits. His accidental son Sovietball, born in 1903 as Bolshevikball, used these failures as excuses to lampoon his father.
In 1905, Russiaball had a partial breakdown, which resulted in him cutting himself, and also forming a new parliament (the Duma) which had little power. In 1907 he joined the Triple Entente with UKball and Franceball, against the expanding 
Imperial Germanyball, and 1912 saw him attempt to interfere with the Balkan Wars, in favour of his Slavic brothers. However, in 1914 the Great War saw the strong but unprepared Russiaball suffer many wounds at the Masurian Lakes and Tannenburg battles. He had more luck against the incompetent 
Austria-Hungaryball, invading his Galicia clay, as well as Ottomanball trying to invade him in winter, and held the front at a heavy cost for two years, until something inside him snapped. In Feburary 1917, he had a personality change, resulting in him becoming a republican ball, but his son Bolshevikball was still fed up, and used his father's weak state to murder him and take his place in October 1917. He became R.S.F.S.Rball that year, and later Sovietball in 1922.
Relationships
Franceball - Forced me into surrender on occasion. But was defeated by glorious Russia! Then we teamed up against the German Empireball. BUT NEVER FORGET THAT WAR!
- UKball - Fought him in the Crimea with Franceball. Then we teamed up against the German Empireball.
- Orthodox Balkans- Good front line against the kebab
- German Empireball - Fought him periodically, most notably in the Great War near the end of Russian Imperialball's and life.
- USAball - I sold Alaska to him. We were warm neutral, but still real good friends. Both served in numerous wars together, stopped the Russo-Japanese War, and more. We've had a down in 1903-1905 but even still, we are very good friends. I’m very sorry that my Son and Grandson both hate you so much. Have a happy memorial day!
- - Yeah I do too buddy. Thank you for Alaska. R.I.P to you
- Ottoman Empireball - My rival, one which I usually defeated easily. I always wanted to anschluss his capital to restore Byzantineball.
- Armeniaball - Kept a bit of his clay around as secret weapon against kebab. Presently the only clay Armeniaball has left.
- Romaniaball, Bulgariaball and Serbiaball - I freed them from Ottoman Empireball.
- The Poles - I ancshlussed her in 1795 with Austria and Prussia.
- Empire of Japanball - Damn you, slit-eyes! 1905! Never Forget! Manchuria and especially Korea were rightfully mine!
- Orthodoxyball - Main religion. Very glorious!
- Belarusball - She is my cute daughter. After Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealthball finally died, I adapted her. She cried a lot when I was killed/murdered. I miss you too my sweet daughter!!!!!
- Russian SFSRball - Communist son who rebelled against me and later killed me in 1917 because I had starved him.
- Russiaball - My Grandson. He is still like his Father. SO WHAT IF I'M FRIENDS WITH USA!!!!
- Russiaball - AT LEAST I WASN'T OVERTHROWN DURING ONE OF WORST WARS IN HISTORY!!!!!! I’m glad that my good old dad killed you for good motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!
- Ex-soviet countries - my grandchildren.
- Finlandball - My son who likes me for giving independence. Also, both remove tomato communist.
- Alaskaball - Also my son whom I'm sorry about for selling him. Good thing 'Merica protected him from tomato vodka.
Gallery
